(14-18 Years)
Being a teenager can be challenging enough, so needing a stoma on top of all the other changes your body is going through can make it even harder. But don’t worry − with a bit of learning and support, having a stoma will become part of your normal daily routine. You are not alone, so, while you may feel ‘different’ and self conscious, there are a lot of others just like you!
There’s no reason why your stoma should restrict you. At UOAA we care about you and are on hand to provide you with tips and suggestions when it comes to your health, and lifestyle. Whether you are thinking about going on a holiday, or playing a sport, we want to answer and provide you with helpful tips and suggestions as you manage your stoma, so that you can do the things you enjoy.
The five leading characteristics of adolescence are
Biological growth and development
An undefined status
Increased decision making
Increased pressures
The search for self
Rapid physical growth with changes in breast/genitalia, pubic and axillary hair, voice deepens, acne appears, and menarche all lead to the adolescent feeling apprehensive and sometimes confused. Due to the increased release of some hormones, the strength of bones, muscles, and nervous system sexual function matures. Young men may continue to physically grow until age 21. The adolescent may feel shy or blush in the company of others.
Because of all the physical changes, the adolescent may appear self-conscious with a “concern” about what others think about them and/or their appearance. This concern can sometimes lead to confusion between what they think others are thinking and what actually others are thinking about them.
What about gender neutral conversations?
In all cultures, there are adolescents who may identify themselves different from the sex they were given at birth. As a parent, you might think this decision was sudden, when in fact, your adolescent has most likely thought about this for a long time and may have been trying to figure out how to tell you. It is important to reassure your adolescent in this conversation just as you would in any other conversation about an issue. If you are uncomfortable talking about gender, work with your general healthcare provider in talking about these concerns. Some tips when talking with adolescents about gender:
Emotional/Social Changes:
With all of the physical changes, adolescents work to adapt sexually and develop their own identity, core values about their sexual behavior and develop romantic relationship skills. They wonder what type of person they will become and what type of person would best suit them.
Thinking/Learning:
The adolescent begins to think abstractly. They can grasp and understand abstract principles, thoughts and ideas and begin to put themselves in someone else’s position. Adolescents can think about the future and can consider the possibilities and outcomes of choices. Thus, adolescents are philosophical and idealistic. It is good for your Adolescent to see that you, as a parent, struggle too. Admit your own mistakes in front of your children and apologize when you are wrong.
Bullying:
Bullying can increase and has the potential to become serious during this period of growth. Bullying can be physical and or emotional via in-person or social media. Monitor cell phones and social media, be alert for signs of bullying and talk to your adolescent about how things are at school. If you are concerned, reach out to healthcare providers for assistance as well as the school.
Safety:
To promote the safety of your adolescent, have honest and direct conversations about safety concerns (i.e. drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex, wearing seat belts, safety gear when sledding/snowboarding/skating). Don’t assume your adolescent knows about drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or sex. Ask them what they do know. Know what is happening at school and ask questions about school such as “tell me about your day, what was the best thing that happened today or what can I help you with”. Get to know your adolescents’ friends and their families. Teach your adolescent how to make a good decision, remember you will not always be present. Know where and who your adolescent is with, inquire about the presence of another adult. Remind them not to walk alone or leave a venue alone. Make sure someone is with them. Listen to the spoken word and the unspoken word. When there are goals to be met such as “increasing grades or cleaning a room”, negotiate with your adolescent for ways to do this. Praise them when they do things well. When your adolescent is home alone, set clear expectations and boundaries. Teach your adolescent how to handle emergencies such as a fire, or illness or what to say/do when confronted with alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or sex.
Sexting is considered a common practice amongst adolescents. Sexting is when adolescents text sexually explicit videos, photos, photographs or messages via a mobile phone or some other digital device. Laws differ from state to state~ when a minor is involved there are legal consequences. In many states, sexting is considered a sexual crime and a felony. Depending on the circumstances, prosecution can occur even with possessing nude photos of oneself. Remember that when digital files are created and shared, the digital media no longer is secure. Technology also makes it easy to not reveal one’s true identity, age and intentions. An adolescent may unknowingly correspond with an adult or a peer with harmful intentions. The pressure for peer acceptance and sexual exploration can be enormous which can lead the adolescent to engage in situations that they may lack the emotional maturity to manage. Talk to your adolescent about sexting. Be curious about their digital information~ let them know you are curious ~ and ask questions.
Alcohol, and drug use~ drinking can reduce self-control and increase risky behaviors such as unsafe driving and sex. Cannabis is the most widely used psychoactive drug which can lead to behavioral, emotional, social, and school problems.
Tobacco and vaping (E-cigarettes) ~~ these are electronic devices that come in all shapes and sizes and heat a liquid and produce an aerosol or mix of small particles in the air. Other names are “e-cigs,” “e-hookahs,” “mods,” “vape pens,” “vapes,” “tank systems,” and “electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS).” For more information check out Quick Facts on the Risks of E-Cigarettes for Kids and Teens and Young Adults
Health:
Seek regular medical and dental checkups. It is important to have good nutrition and rest. Choose healthy foods/snack. Since your adolescent is growing rapidly consider a multi-vitamin and extra calcium. Be creative by having breakfast foods at dinner time or vice versa or having your adolescent suggest a new recipe or food. Ask their opinion on meals or restaurants. Keep healthcare provider appointments. Write down questions or concerns for discussion at the next visit.
A Word about Dinnertime:
Respect thoughts and opinions and have a meal together daily as a family. These times create a space for conversation about daily activities. Mealtime should be a relaxing time so turn off the TV to encourage conversation.
Television/Computers/social media:
Adolescents are exposed to a multitude of media that may be violent, have inappropriate sexual messages or inappropriate content. Time with the television/computer/social media is time away from the family and other duties/responsibilities. Sharing the physical effects of sitting for long periods of time is important. Information such as sitting can cause high amounts of stress on the spine, neck, and lower back. This can contribute to headaches and backaches. As soon as one sits, electrical activity in the leg muscles shut off and calorie burning drops to 1 calorie per minute. As much as your adolescent may not like it, limit computer time and plan for other activities such as reading, board games and/or walking/bike riding. Do not allow your adolescent to have a TV in their bedroom~ the bedroom is for sleeping. Place computers/screen in central locations so everyone can see and have access. Monitor internet sites/email accounts, phone calls/text messages and remind your adolescent not to share personal information on the internet. Always remember that any information/pictures placed on social media are there forever. Be aware that some cell phones receive unwanted pornographic material without a request.
Hope, support, and finding community
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United Ostomy Associations of America
P.O. Box 2293
Biddeford, ME 04005-2293
Call us toll-free at: 1-800-826-0826.
Our Information Line hours are Monday-Friday, 9am to 3pm EST. If you have an emergency, please dial 911 or contact your local medical professional.
Please understand that UOAA is a private, nonprofit, advocacy and informational organization. We are not a medical facility and we do not have medical or legal professionals on staff. Therefore, UOAA does not provide Medical, Mental Health, Insurance or Legal Advice. Visit UOAA Virtual Ostomy Clinic provided by The Wound Company for non-emergency, virtual ostomy support.
