Embracing Life After Surgery 

, , , , ,

Before cancer came into my life, I was a very social person. My various professional ventures along with the diverse group of friends kept me on the go. Even though I dealt with anxiety it was mild enough that I was still a social butterfly.  

I was diagnosed with anal cancer on May 5, 2015, that’s Cinco de Mayo. We had the day planned, going to the groceries for Taco & Nacho Day. Watch mindless shows and spend the day together.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world.

We were three years into our relationship, and this was not on our Bingo card of relationships… Or was it? That whole summer was spent in bed or on the couch sleeping. I couldn’t stand a lot of smells or people- so not much socializing.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world. You are dependent on them for food, medical needs, and conversation. Chrisitan, my boyfriend, was all that and more. He was also my punching bag and took all my frustration and honestly, I don’t know where he put that energy.

It made our relationship stronger; it tested the relationship and us. He also helped me get back into the real world easier although it takes the caregiver longer to step out of his role. I don’t know if they ever leave completely.  

It took almost six months to decide or be convinced for the ostomy surgery. I had done hyperbaric chamber treatment, and we were hoping things would heal. We expected a miracle. My sphincter would not grow back.  

Diapers were not very convenient for work. I traveled quite a bit and changing on the go was a pain in the butt. Those changing tables in the bathroom don’t hold an adult! I finally picked a date for the surgery.  

My surgery was scheduled for April 1, 2016. If that date sounds familiar it’s because it’s April Fool’s Day. Yes, my surgery was a joke, and I wasn’t laughing. I didn’t have a mentor, buddy or a nurse to tell me what to do. My brain was in constant conflict between I don’t want anyone to see me, and I need to get back out in front of people. I wanted to act, public speak, or at best go shopping and try on clothes.

Go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

When I first started to go out in public, I would use surgical tape and bind my bag down. I was sure that if I taped it hard enough it would go away. I felt so self-conscious that I would wear shirts one size larger.

Then one day, in a support group, I heard about wraps. I had to look up this miracle device that would give me back my manly figure. As if they were security secrets that you had to find through a scavenger hunt.

I felt confident, strong, and back to me… Kinda. I felt like a piggy bank and that everyone was looking at my belly. Finally, Tommy the Ostomy and I had worked out the kinks, made peace, and became frenemies… Kinda.

Eight years later I am out more, I travel more, and still panic a bit. Tommy still manages to surprise me from time to time. Almost every day I put on my belly-bra to keep things tight and snug, and I watch my weight so things don’t pop out.

I still get panic attacks, I still think everyone is looking at me, and I still think I’ll wake up and It’ll be gone. Except I have more self-esteem, I share my story, and I look great in a tight shirt and jeans!

If I could share any words of wisdom if a new ostomate it would be go hunting online for patient stories and trusted information like this website. Find a support group and ask as many questions as pop in your head. Some things you’ll learn on your own but we’re here to help.

Another thing, go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

JoAnna’s Story: Coming Out of The Shadows

, ,

For as long as I can remember, I have found myself fitting in amongst groups of people who don’t stereotypically “fit in.” I recognized early on that because I had an absent lifestyle, consisting of traveling hours away to cities with hospitals and specialists unavailable to me in western Kentucky, it gave me the freedom to be invisible.

I was born on a crisp, autumn Friday in September 1991. My mom’s earliest indication something wasn’t right was a large bruise that developed on my lower back, days after I was born. However, her concern was met instead with my pediatrician looking into her eyes and saying, “Some babies are just born special!” Special comes in many forms. For me, that included a mature, type 4 Sacrococcyxgeal Teratoma. This just means I had a slow-growing tumor that wreaked havoc on the organs surrounding the sacrum and coccyx and went undiagnosed because no one could see it.

In a world where it is easy to stay isolated and afraid of connection, I have found some of my closest companions were waiting for the same opportunity; hiding away behind their shields of invisibility.

A steady decline in my ability to hold my bowel and bladder, beginning well after potty training, was the next signal that I had something going on. However, it was not until I was seven when the tumor abscessed, that my childhood was shifted into a very real, life-long game of “Operation.” During my third Teratoma resection at the age of 14, my new colorectal surgeon advised that a temporary ileostomy would be needed to allow everything time to heal. Fortunately, the surgery was in May so I had the summer months to hide away as I wanted to.

JoAnna with her best friend Caleb whom she met at Youth Rally at is a natural companion whether attending a UOAA National Conference or a Pride Celebration.

I started my sophomore year of high school with the ileostomy, and having only had it two months at the time with little self-management, I resorted to staying home from school most days for the remaining two months until it was reversed. I found a bit more normalcy in my teen years, discovering friends with similar interests and personalities and things in their own lives making them special to distract from my ability to fade in and out of view.

A few years later, just before my 18th birthday, I left home to attend college in Tennessee. It was a new world and I could be anyone I choose. For the first time, I wanted to be fully present in every moment and not miss a thing. In reality, I spent what I remember feeling like almost all of my first semester of college writing papers while sitting on the toilet of a shared dorm suite. Through discussion with my surgeon and with the understanding that I didn’t want to hide away anymore, I decided it was time for a permanent colostomy in 2009. Not only did this decision provide the opportunity to be present and live life to the fullest but also allowed for new purpose and adventures, all on its own.

It was in 2011, attending my first year as a Counselor In Training at Youth Rally, which is THE camp for young people with bladder and bowel dysfunctions here in the US, that I was included with a group of counselors and campers affectionately labeled by the members as “The Island of Misfit Toys.” Truthfully, we were just the miscellaneous diagnoses group that didn’t have enough members separately to each have our own. The symbolism of being a misfit toy, that found belonging and purpose in a group of other misfits, has continued throughout almost every social group that I have been a part of.

The beauty of events like Youth Rally, as well as the UOAA Conference, is providing a safe place to build community without fear of judgment for identifying in a way that is taboo or sometimes uncomfortable to discuss. In a world where it is easy to stay isolated and afraid of connection, I have found some of my closest companions were waiting for the same opportunity; hiding away behind their shields of invisibility.

Not only had I grown into a person who wanted to be known and accepted, but more importantly, I wanted to be chosen and loved. I grew up as a girl in the Bible Belt, with the idea that someday I would find a man who would love me and my ostomy, and then everything else in the world would make sense. Intimacy was scarce, considering my body confidence issues, so I resolved to wait. I had faith that my person would come along and I would know when it was right. Just as I had spent other portions of life in the shadows, wishing and waiting for my moment to come, it would probably surprise no one that another place that I had stowed away was inside “the closet.”

Like my experience in the Ostomy community, identifying as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community has provided a safe place to be authentic and explore who I am and want to be as a person and partner. The intersection at which these identities meet has given opportunity to some of the most profound and pivotal moments in my life. It would then also not be surprising that I attended Pride celebrations before and after “coming out” with my best friend, Caleb, whom I met while we were both first-year Counselors in Training at Youth Rally. He is the same friend that I invited to join me at the UOAA Conference as it made its way to my current city, his hometown, this past year. In our truest fashion, I am happy to say we show up loud, proud, and ready to make our place in the world; no matter the occasion.

I work daily to overcome my old habits of hiding away, having to refocus to remember that the life that I have created was done only by my participating fully. On the difficult days when I have trouble seeing for myself, I am blessed with friends and a partner who assist with some needed perspective. I aspire to be the same for every person I meet.

So, in case you are new here; no matter how you identify…

Hi! I am JoAnna and I am glad you are here.

 

Ostomy Advocate Makes a Splash in Commercial

, , , , , , ,

Advertising students at BYU put a spotlight on ostomy awareness in creative commercial. 

The students could focus on anything they wanted for a final advertising project at Brigham Young University in Utah, but they knew they wanted it to be meaningful. After spending days thinking about a direction for the project Art Director Jane Reese and Copywriter Nate Nielson made a connection that they both had family members with ostomies. “We didn’t know until we were much older because they were very private about it and it felt like some kind of “secret”. That’s when we came up with the idea of “uncovering” your story,” says Nielson of the ad they conceived with the brand Hanes in mind.

Jane Reese has had eight family members with a colostomy. “A lot of people do not know what they are and we wanted to spread awareness and help do whatever we could,” Reese said during a break in the filming.

“We wanted the ad to highlight the emotion that our family members felt and at the same time illustrate that it’s normal to have medical conditions and no one should feel embarrassed or shamed by them,” Nielson says.

When Nate Hadlock, who is a member of UOAA’s Patient Advisory Board learned about the project he jumped at the opportunity to be involved.

“Ostomies often change a lot about a person’s life and how they view themselves, so seeing a beautiful video like this, along with the overwhelmingly positive response to it, can give ostomates new courage and confidence,” Hadlock believes.

The beautifully produced film project features Hadlock and several other ostomates living life to the fullest. Hadlock is seen in the commercial diving and gliding through the water swimming while wearing a Stealthbelt cover over his ostomy pouch. The image itself is powerful because of the hesitancy some ostomates may experience because of misinformation about swimming with an ostomy.

“I am extremely grateful that I was able to be a part of this project. The actual film day of making the ad was so much fun! The students could not have been more professional or treated me better. It was a special moment in my life! ” Hadlock says.

Hanes-Uncover Your Story from jane reese on Vimeo.

Nielson credits getting Hadlock on board with encouraging other people to be featured in the project. We wanted to show people of all backgrounds, because these conditions, can affect anybody,” Nielson says.

A voiceover of the Maya Angelou Poem ‘One Human Family’ is featured in the ad and reminds us that we are “more alike than we are unalike.”

“Though we all have different marks, scars, and stories, underneath we are all human. Everyone deserves to be proud of who they are,” Reese said of the project on a post on LinkedIn.

Hadlock feels that the message of the ad itself and the project as a whole can really help with ostomy awareness. “Ostomates need to see that they belong in this world as much as anyone else. If I had seen this ad 14 years ago, when I received my ileostomy, it would have changed my entire outlook on ostomy life and what I was going through,” he says.

In a YouTube video Hadlock shares a special behind-the-scenes look at the filming and more reflections on the project in the context of the often negative portrayals of ostomies on TV and in popular culture.

“Ostomies often change a lot about a person’s life and how they view themselves, so seeing a beautiful video like this, along with the overwhelmingly positive response to it, can give ostomates new courage and confidence,” Hadlock believes.

I have already been contacted by multiple people about how this “ad” has legitimately helped them, or somebody they know! Hopefully, ostomates who see this will realize, even if only a little bit more, that they are beautiful, capable, worthy of love, and definitely not alone.”

Other students who worked on the film came away with a new understanding of the ostomy community.

“I had my eyes opened to a whole other world- a world that so many around me live in daily, but that I had no idea of its existence. I was able to meet amazing people who shared with us their journey with an ostomy. If you are struggling with shame, embarrassment or any other thing because of your ostomy, know this: you are SO strong and you are capable of anything you put your mind to! “ says director Taylor Steadman.

Though the company Hanes was not involved in this project the ad has the look and feel of a full-scale professional production and is a credit to the talents of the student team.

“We wanted the ad to highlight the emotion that our family members felt and at the same time illustrate that it’s normal to have medical conditions and no one should feel embarrassed or shamed by them,” Nielson says.

“I’m very grateful for the opportunity to work on such an important project, and I hope that my cinematic choices made in this commercial helped capture the experiences and feelings of these incredible individuals,” said Spencer Nelson, Director of Photography.

Hadlock feels that helping with this project was a chance to do something uniquely meaningful. “I spent decades not wanting to ask for help or talk about the medical side of my life with anyone. However, becoming more active in this community has taught me so much and truly changed my life. I have also seen the tangible and intangible ways that my own advocacy can help others.”

That’s why I’m grateful to be involved in advocacy efforts with UOAA and why I plan to be a part of many more projects like this video in the future,” says Hadlock.

Do you speak stoma?

, , , , , , ,

A New Guide aims to help you find the right words to talk about your ostomy

By Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA

The Speaking Stoma Guide is the first health communication guide for people with ostomies. This work was coproduced through collaboration with ostomates worldwide, UOAA, clinical experts, and health communication experts. This guide is freely available here on UOAA’s website, encompassing 11 communication topics areas including managing pouch leaks, communicating with friends and family, and intimacy.

This work has been inspired by our experience working with ostomates. We recognize that talking about your ostomy will not always be easy. We created the Speaking Stoma Guide to help. We hope this guide gives you an idea of things you could say if you are ever in similar situations and ways to manage challenging social situations that may arise. Each section has a big topic and has different situations that you may experience. In the next section, we will provide a snapshot of situations inspired by real people with ostomies.

Leaks
In this section, we have suggestions for what you might say to help manage the situation based on how much you want to disclose about having an ostomy. These phrases were produced directly from things ostomates told us. For people who did not want to disclose anything about having an ostomy (low disclosure), a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the bathroom?” For high disclosure, a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the restroom? My ostomy pouch has leaked and I need to clean up. Would you be able to find me an extra set of clothes? I really appreciate it!” Each section has several suggestions like this.

Talking About Food
With an ostomy, some people have limitations on the food that they can eat. Some ostomates expressed embarrassment when they couldn’t eat the same food everyone else is eating. It’s hard to say “no” whenever someone offers you food. One participant noted that he once told a host on behalf of his wife: “Please don’t take offense. She doesn’t eat these things. It’s not your cooking.” For higher disclosure, a person may say “Thank you so much for inviting me. After my surgery I’m still figuring out the foods that make me feel best, so I ate before I came. Everything looks delicious!” In general, there are many people with and without ostomies that have dietary restrictions.

Public Restrooms
What do you do when you need to use a public restroom to care for your ostomy and there is a long line! For low disclosure, you may consider saying: “Excuse me, I have an emergency and need to get to a restroom right now.” This does not reveal anything to strangers except the urgent need. For higher disclosure, you may reveal the presence of your ostomy and the rapid need for its care. People in line can be helpful too. One of our participants recalls how a stranger helped her get to the front of the line during a pouch leak.

Talking to Friends and Family
Time with friends and family are vital to everyone. How do you address having an ostomy with them? Some of our participants suggested having a “code name” for the ostomy that they can use with their family and friends to talk it in public. Unfortunately, some people have disparaging comments or jokes about ostomies once they know about it. Some ostomates use humor back to deflect the situation. It is also ok to say: “I am not really comfortable joking about my ostomy like that, but I am glad you will be willing to help if I need it. I really appreciate it.”

Noises
Noises happen! People with ostomies have no control of when they happen. In the beginning, our participants noted that they felt awkward about the noises their ostomies made. It helped people to remember that no one knows that the noises came from the ostomy. It is ok to say nothing (low disclosure). It is also ok to say: “Excuse me, I have an ostomy pouch and sometimes it makes noises” (medium disclosure).

Sex and Intimacy
Some people are not sure when or how to tell a romantic partner about their ostomy. There is no right or wrong time. Some people may choose to tell someone immediately, while other people might wait to tell the person until they know the person better. Your comfort is what is most important. We have suggestions and real-life testimonies in the guide related to speaking about sex and intimacy while having an ostomy.

Talking to Clinicians
We also go through ways to manage different levels of challenging social situations or what we term as “difficulty.” For example, you are in a clinical visit with a new physician who is not familiar with ostomies. Our participants universally encountered this situation. They noted that they often are the most knowledgeable person about ostomies in a clinical visit. In the guide we provide some easy to remember suggestions about how to manage this situation and others.

What’s Next?
We are scientists and this work does not end here. We are actively working to obtain funding to test this guide to see if it makes a difference for people with ostomies. We have also translated the guide into Spanish and are pilot testing it with people who prefer to speak in Spanish. Our experiences with major grant organizations, however, has been underwhelming to say the least. Some reviewers talk about “osteotomies” (surgically created bone holes) instead of ostomies demonstrating their complete lack of basic understanding. Other reviewers assumed that existing information already contained a wealth of communication-related information for ostomates. Despite these, we are undeterred and will keep pushing forward for funding. We would appreciate any support for this work from anyone including the ostomy community, ostomy pouch manufacturers, and local/state health agencies to keep the momentum going! We would also appreciate your feedback on the Speaking Stoma Guide. Please feel free to email me at jivatury@austin.utexas.edu.

Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA, is an associate professor of surgery Dell Medical School and the inaugural chief of colon and rectal surgery at UT Health Austin. The Speaking Stoma Project was funded through the Communication for Health, Empathy, and Resilience Grant Program and created in partnership with Dell Medical School and the Center for Health Communication at The University of Texas at Austin.

Why Larry David’s “Colostomy Bag” Curb episode is making me speak out about my ostomy after 48 years

, , , , ,

By Robin Bergstein Berman

The latest episode of Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm was called “The Colostomy Bag” and during an attempt to be humorous, his usually (awkward and despicable character) made disparaging comments relating to ostomates. At least it opened up room for discussion… It’s the first time that I posted on my Facebook page about my one-and-done Ileostomy surgery 48 years ago and I received nothing but words of support. I shared below why I found the episode harmful:

“Being an ostomate does not define me.” Says Robin, 63, and has had her ileostomy for 48 years, finding health and a full life after ulcerative colitis.

This is too important not to address so I’m about to “out” myself for those who do not know. Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that aired tonight was called “The Colostomy Bag” and it was harmful for a few reasons. I’m able to laugh at myself but this was not funny mostly because it passed along inaccurate information and promoted public stigmas that could cost lives. Those who desperately need a life-saving surgery (for bowel diseases, cancers and more), often put it off far too long due to inaccurate public opinion including that of too many doctors.

There were three primary comments that were said, I want to address about the episode while giving only a glimpse of my journey. First of all, not all who have an ostomy have a colostomy and therefore do not wear ”Colostomy Bags”. Larry kept saying colostomy as if it encompassed all ostomies… it doesn’t.

Secondly, having an ostomy is not the worst thing that anyone could possibly have. He made it sound as if it is. It’s life-saving and has given me personally 48 more years of life to date that I wouldn’t have had without the complete colectomy/Ileostomy I was given in a nine hour surgery in 1975. I would not be here without it since I was bleeding to death and not able to recover after given the maximum doses of steroids for an extended period of time. Polyps, the breeding grounds for cancer cells were present and multiple were seen when my entire colon and rectum were removed at 15 years old. The pain I endured prior to surgery was unfathomable and I won’t here expand on all of what I experienced. I had the most severe chronic ulcerative colitis, spending weeks and months at a time in the hospital from 11 to 15 years old.

Robin with her two, now adult sons, whom she carried to term and had by emergency c-section after her ileostomy surgery.

Back to the episode; there is no such thing as a “shit in the bag look” for anyone thinking there is, like Larry. It was only slightly humorous in the context, but for someone facing this surgery and not knowing, there is no facial indications that we wear an appliance/pouch/bag. Now when he felt guilty about his comment to the car salesmen and wondered if he could gift a Louie Vitton Illeostomy Bag, that I’d like !!!…lol THIS was funny when Larry brought it up.

While they did say the car smelled like smoking, they alluded to it smelling like the man’s ostomy bag which is also not a “thing”. Popular public thinking is that ostomates smell, are unattractive, unappealing, not sexy or sexual and should be pitied. This too is not true. Within months after my surgery, I was at the beach away with my friend and her family, continued my relationship with my first boyfriend and went onto have others, didn’t miss a beat with school and countless other activities which were extensive and then went onto college away two years after my surgery. I’ve lived a full, active, useful life, carried both of our sons to term, working primarily but not exclusively in fragrance and cosmetics and certainly do not smell bad being told my entire life that I smell good (lol). In fact the first thing that attracted my husband to me was how I smelled at a bar after fragrance modeling all day.

I wear almost everything I want with some exceptions and am fashionable according to most. I’ve heard from too many that someone would rather be dead than to wear an ostomy bag. It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard all caused by antiquated public opinion that is not valid and what this last episode of Larry David continues to promote.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner.

Without fail when TV, even medical dramas, present ostomy surgery and the wearing of an appliance, they present it unfairly, wrong and impose additional stigmas. Don’t misinterpret me since adjusting to it sucks and there are challenges but it’s totally doable and makes a person no less the person they were in any way other than making them hopefully healthier.

If any one of you are facing this now or in the future, I am more than willing to help you or anyone you care about, to get through and adjust by listening, empathizing and giving you the tips and tricks I learned from a lifetime, 48 years, through all stages and phases of life.

Robin and her husband of 34 years.

It’s so much easier to find info today with social media than when I learned to adjust on my own without an ostomy, now a community is a click of a phone away and with laser surgery lessening the more invasive total cutting my body went through.

I was triggered tonight by the episode knowing how people are discouraged by doctors and the public’s misconceptions, I just had to address it not for me but for others. Ostomates are all ages and sexes and all walks of life including some professional athletes. Please let me know if you have any questions but mostly if you or a loved one are facing this life saving surgery, I’d be glad to help.If anyone would like to share my post, I’ll be glad to make it shareable by allowing public access. Let me know.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner. I help where I can in the support groups and over 48 years ago tried forming a youth group here in Pittsburgh for ostomates, spoke to auditoriums full of high schoolers at various schools trying to discuss differences and acceptance for all and was always received well.  I went on a local talk show regarding my surgery back in 1975. Being an ostomate does not define me so I spend little time discussing it unless I can be of help or it’s in a relevant conversation, which it is this week!

Editors note: The humor of the Larry character in Curb Your Enthusiasm is often built around his selfish and ignorant views. In past episodes with characters who are disabled or have a disease, those characters are usually used to help magnify his faults. This episode did not include an ostomate character just the perception of what one would be like and what life would be like with one. The opportunity for awareness, such as what Michael J Fox brought to Parkinson’s in his past episodes, was missed. 

Want to get a more positive ostomy awareness message on TV and social media? Share UOAA’s Ostomy Public Service Announcement.

 

Osmani Gonzalez’s Story

, , , , , ,

Surviving colorectal cancer, reversal complications, and living with faith & perseverance

In June 2018, Osmani Gonzalez began a new exercise program to help him lose weight and kickstart a healthier lifestyle. Two months into his new routine, the then 42-year-old began to experience abdominal pain. Gonzalez assumed it was due to his workouts, but the pain foreshadowed a much more severe issue.

His discomfort only worsened over time, and in August 2018, Gonzalez, who was born in Havana, Cuba, and raised in Hialeah, Florida, was rushed to a nearby hospital with a swollen abdomen.

To alleviate his pain and to clear an obstruction in his colon, he underwent surgery for an ileostomy. During this procedure, surgeons build an opening in the abdominal wall by bringing the end of the small intestine out onto the surface of the skin, creating an opening for his intestinal waste to pass through into an ostomy bag attached to his abdomen. Unfortunately, the news that came after his procedure was not favorable – Gonzalez was diagnosed with Stage 2 colon cancer.

He cried along with his wife of 23 years Aleida, and despite not knowing what they were getting into remembers them saying, “We are going to fight it, good or bad we will try our best.”

Gonzalez thinks patients should also find time to have empathy for others. “It’s so important to understand the caregiver and ask how they are doing and to never forget that they are going through similar things,” Gonzalez says. He received 12 sessions of chemotherapy for six months. While in the hospital for treatment during the Christmas Holiday Gonzalez, who is an advocate and speaker for father engagement in K through 12 education and active in several area PTA’s where he raised two children, had an idea to bring some cheer to fellow patients by having local children draw cards of support to his fellow patients.

Gonzalez’s cancer went into remission and was told he no longer needed the ostomy.

In February 2019, Gonzalez underwent reversal surgery. However, three days after the procedure, he woke up in horrible pain, and a CT scan revealed there was a leak in his intestine and his staples had come undone. After the blood system was contaminated, Gonzalez was diagnosed with sepsis shock and had to undergo another surgery to have an ileostomy again. Afterward, Mr. Gonzalez was put in a medically induced coma for 18 days.

“At that point, my wife was given very little hope and was told just to pray and prepare for the worst,” Gonzalez said.

When he woke up from the coma, he began occupational and physical therapies and was on an IV drip to help alleviate his constant dehydration. Gonzalez learned to walk and perform basic physical activities. He used a wheelchair for more than three months while he recovered.

Even with the support he was receiving, Gonzalez’s kidneys began to fail. During one of his many trips to the ER, a gastroenterologist suspected he was suffering from short bowel syndrome, a condition in which your body is unable to absorb enough nutrients from the foods you eat because you do not have enough intestine.

“We all have downs and need motivation. Whatever it is you grab onto, you have to have a why and decide to live.”

Gonzalez was rushed to the Hospital’s emergency department and referred to a well-known trauma surgeon and surgical critical care specialist. “He came weighing 176 pounds, and in six months, he kept losing even more weight,” Gonzales recalls the doctor saying. “We only had 125 centimeters of small intestine to stabilize him.”

For Gonzalez to get better, the Doctor placed him on Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN) so his body could receive the nutrition needed to strengthen his intestines. Over the next two years, Gonzalez continued receiving TPN and seeing the Doctor biweekly, undergoing continuous lab work to monitor his progress.

Despite frequent challenges with ostomy leaks and TPN he would go out fishing and continued to push himself to do things he loved. He remembers one time after a shower attempting to stop an active stoma with his hand and making quite a mess, “My wife just said it’s better laughing than crying,” he recalls with a smile.

On June 25, 2021, he was taken off the TPN and underwent a successful reversal surgery to repair his intestines, clean up scar tissue, and remove the stoma.

On July 9, he went home with a feeding tube and by September 13, he was on a regular and independent diet. His doctor told him, “He’s been one of the most optimistic patients I have ever cared for.”

While going through this medical journey, Gonzalez had to reduce his workflow with his construction company to focus on his health. Mr. Gonzalez is currently enrolled in a program slowly allowing him to join the workforce again. He has been working in construction management and is gradually entering a more active lifestyle.

“I look at life differently now. My focus is improving daily and being more involved in my kids’ lives,” Gonzalez said. “I’m extremely grateful to the Doctor and my care team at the hospital for performing this miracle.”

Gonzalez has expressed what a blessing it has been to have met Lynn Wolfson of the South Florida Ostomy and Tube Feeding/HPN Support Group, which provides support and comfort to other ostomy patients and guides patients through their journey of living with these conditions.

Gonzalez recently had the chance to share his story with the group and UOAA followers around the country on a Zoom presentation. He stressed the mental aspects of recovery and looking beyond day-to-day challenges.

“Keep pushing and do what you love, sometimes even when you don’t want to do something, once you start the process your feelings change,” Gonzalez says. “We all have downs and need motivation. Whatever it is you grab onto, you have to have a why and decide to live.”

Sexual well-being and intimacy after ostomy surgery

, , , , , ,

After ostomy surgery, it’s natural to feel sensitive about how your body has changed and be concerned about how it might affect intimacy and your sex life in the future.

Wherever you are in your journey, your sexual well-being is an important part of who you are.

  • Sexual well-being is an important part of everyone’s life, regardless of whether you are in a committed relationship, enjoying or thinking about dating, not sexually active, or unpartnered.1 
  • It covers many areas including body image and self-esteem, sexual function, reproductive health, emotional and physical satisfaction, and can impact both your physical and mental well-being. 1, 2
  • Pleasurable, fulfilling and fun sexual and intimate experiences are not out of bounds because you’ve had ostomy surgery. And no matter what your relationship status, age, gender or sexuality, starting the conversation about sex is just as important as the discussions around diet, exercise, skin issues and generally living with your ostomy.

Here are some topics you can explore in more detail in A Guide to Intimacy after Ostomy Surgery:

  • If you’re not ready, don’t rush. For some, intimacy will be one of the most important aspects of life they want to resume post-surgery, and for others, it might be the last thing on their minds.
  • When you are ready….Communication is the key when it comes to intimacy. Make time to talk to your partner.
  • Enjoying intimacy with an ostomy is anything but boring! Refer to the Guide for tips to increase your, and your partner’s, enjoyment.
  • Sexual orientation: Whatever your gender identity and sexual orientation, there are so many different ways of expressing and enjoying intimate moments including holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling and lots more.
  • Common issues that can affect everyone. The most common issues reported to us from people following ostomy surgery are feeling they must resume intimate relationships straightaway, and a fear of disappointing their partner.1 Two very common conditions that can affect sexual intimacy – vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction – can be experienced by men and women at all stages of life, and whether they have an ostomy or not.
  • Pregnancy with an ostomy: Many women with an ostomy worry that pregnancy will be an issue after surgery, but in the vast majority of cases, it shouldn’t be. Most women are able to enjoy a very typical experience.

For more information, download A Guide to Intimacy after Ostomy Surgery

  1. References: 1. A Cross-National Study of Subjective Sexual Well-Being Among Older Women and Men: Findings From the Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Publication Title: Springer. Publication Date: 4/2006 . Author: Laumann, Edward; Paik, Anthony; Glasser, Dale; Kang, Jeong-Han; Wang, Tianfu; Levinson, Bernard; Moreira, Edson; Nicolosi, Alfredo; Gingell, Clive. 2. What is sexual well-being and why does it matter for public health? Kirstin R Mitchell, Ruth Lewis, Lucia F O’Sullivan, J Dennis Fortenberry. Lancet Public Health 2021; 6: e608–13. Published Online. June 21, 2021. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2468-2667(21)00099-2.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Dressing to Feel Good

, , , , , ,

By Lynn Wolfson

It is amazing what a boost one can get from dressing to feel and look good, especially those of us with ostomies. I know that when my hair is cut into an easy style that I can maintain, my nails are done and my clothes fit, I feel beautiful. When I feel beautiful, I am happy and share it with the world.

As an ostomy support group leader, I often hear from new ostomates struggling with what to wear after surgery. Many people may have their own style and should explore options to keep wearing the clothing they love. Too many others seem to lose confidence and motivation to dress in the more presentable ways they once did. Overall, I stress to dress so that you feel confident, comfortable, and good about yourself.

So, let us start with the pants. Depending on where the ostomy is located, this will determine whether one would be comfortable with zipper and button pants such as jeans. For me, I find that too restrictive, especially since I have two ostomies. Instead, I prefer either maternity pants, so I have belly room and my legs are not baggy or high elastic-waisted pants. I buy a variety of solid colors of the pants that I find most comfortable.

Unfortunately, men do not have the same choices as women. They should find a brand of pants that are comfortable for them and get them in an array of colors. Stretchable waists can be found on various pants and shorts designs, so don’t feel like you have to resort to athletic wear if you don’t want to.

The tops for women are fun to shop.  I usually get a loose shirt or blouse that goes over the pants. I get multiple tops for each pair of pants so I can mix and match.

Men may still have to tuck their shirts in for business. However casually, they can wear a shirt outside their pants or shorts.

It helps to be beautiful on the outside, especially when I am not physically feeling great.

Since I live in Florida, I only wear pants when it is chilly or when I travel to colder climates.  Personally, I prefer wearing dresses that do not have a waist.  I find them very comfortable and cooler in our hot climate. However, these dresses are not appropriate for business. I do have more tailored dresses without a waistline to wear for business occasions. I generally prefer wearing dresses just below the knee as one of my ostomy bags hangs low.

Shoes should be comfortable. Wear sneakers whenever possible if that’s what you want to do. In Florida, I wear sandals with rubber soles. Up north, boots are a necessity.

Lastly, I get my hair colored and shaped once every six weeks to keep it looking fresh and easy for me to maintain. I also get my nails done every three weeks.

It helps to be beautiful on the outside, especially when I am not physically feeling great. It helps me to get myself going and not have that get back into bed feeling. It is all a matter of attitude!  When I dress for success, I feel good about myself and am successful in getting things done.

Caring for an Ostomate with Memory Loss

, , , , , , , , ,

By Sarah Biggart (Convatec me+™)

Frequently I speak to callers about the challenges of caring for an ostomate with memory loss. Often time, people who were previously self-sufficient, independent ostomates become pre-occupied with their pouch; sometimes even pulling on it, which could cause numerous issues1,2.

This could be in the future for some of us, and a reality some caregivers are facing now as they care for and support loved ones.

If you are assisting a loved one, and you see them tugging, pulling, scratching or playing with their appliance, the first thing you should consider is that there may be a reason for this behavior. Their peristomal skin may be itching or burning, or they might be experiencing pain or discomfort around the stoma3. For someone who may have trouble communicating, this could be their way of letting you know something is wrong.

If this is a new behavior, contact your local ostomy nurse or healthcare provider. It’s important to rule out any medical issues they may be experiencing.

If the issue is determined to be purely behavioral, we have some suggested tips and tricks that may help as you care for and support your loved one.

Pouch Change Tips1,2,3:

  • Create a safe, relaxed environment. Take your cues from your loved one considering where they are the most comfortable. Maybe instead of standing in the bathroom, try laying down on the bed with soothing music or a favorite show playing in the background.
  • If evenings can be tough, a morning pouch change before eating breakfast may make more sense for you.
  • Keep ostomy supplies organized and clearly labeled for people who may be able to handle pouch changes independently or for rotating caregivers.
  • Use a calendar or the My Ostomy Journey App to track pouch changes. Do not wait until there is a leak to change the pouch. A leaking pouch may contribute to skin breakdown issues.
  • It may be necessary to store pastes, powders and sprays securely, as patients may attempt to tamper with or ingest these items.
  • Try ostomy accessories designed to simplify pouch changes.

Daily Living Tips1,2,3:

  • Many people with memory loss find comfort in routine. Find a rhythm to ostomy related tasks, such as emptying the pouch, and use the same verbiage each time to bring familiarity. Coordinate with the entire care team to ensure everyone is aligned with using similar language and prompts.
  • Staying occupied may help with keeping hands away from the pouching system. Things like puzzles, sorting items and folding something, may be just the thing to help.
  • Try an Ostomy wrap. Employing the “Out of Sight, Out of Mind” principal, a wrap helps to keep the pouch concealed and supported. A good ostomy wrap is made from a soft and stretchy wicking fabric and helps to keep sweat and moisture away from the skin and the wearer cool and comfortable.

Feeling isolated while providing care for loved ones is a common challenge, we encourage utilizing groups for ostomy support.

And remember that caregivers need care too. You may find comfort in your local Ostomy Support group Find one near you on the UOAA support group finder: https://www.ostomy.org/support-group-finder/.

 

Ruth and her family were confused and stressed when they had to take on the care of their 99-year- old mother’s ostomy.

“My mother has had a colostomy for nearly 60 years. She is now 99 years old with dementia, but had been independently keeping up with her stoma and pouch until just a few years ago. When family members started taking on the task of assisting her, we had to scramble to get up-to-speed since we never paid attention to the details of changing her “appliance” or emptying and re-closing the pouch.”

Ruth connected with me+™ to learn more about how to use ostomy products and accessories, and received follow up product samples and ongoing support.

“Erica was compassionate, truly listened to the problems we were encountering with my mother’s situation, and suggested products that addressed each of those challenges. The bottom line is Erica made me feel supported in my mother’s care, and that she cared that our family wanted my mother’s quality of life upheld when other healthcare providers wrote her off due to her age and mental condition. Erica contributed to us honoring my mother’s wonderfully rich and productive life at a time when that’s not evident to a stranger’s eye. We are so grateful for the support we’ve received through Convatec’s me+ Clinical Support Nurse Team.”

 

If you have questions about product sampling or nurse support available through the me+™ program, please contact us at 1-800-422-2211 or cic@convatec.com.  We look forward to helping you soon.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

References:

  1. DementiaUK, Caring for a person with a Stoma and Dementia. https://www.dementiauk.org/information-and-support/health-advice/caring-for-a-person-with-a-stoma-and-dementia/. Accessed November 13th, 2023.
  2. United Ostomy Associations of America, Inc, Dementia Stoma Care. https://www.ostomy.org/dementia-stoma-care/. Accessed November 13th, 2023.
  3. McGrogan M. How holistic assessment and appropriate product selection will enhance quality of life for ostomates with cognitive impairment. WCET® Journal 2021;41(1):33-35

What Keeps You Up at Night?

, , , ,

Sleep is vital for health and healing. Hormones released at night are responsible for cell growth and repair. We also need quality sleep for healthy cognitive functioning and so we can complete everyday tasks. A lack of sleep can lead to confusion, delayed healing, immunosuppression, elevated blood pressure, decreased pain tolerance, and many other negative effects.

If you have an ostomy, your quality of life may be impacted by the condition of the skin around your stoma (i.e., your peristomal skin), and issues like pouch ballooning and leakage. One area often not given much attention is how having an ostomy affects your sleep. Based on anecdotal evidence (i.e., clinician experiences and patient stories), we know that living with an ostomy can negatively impact sleep. But to what extent?

Ostomy Sleep Survey

To answer this question, Hollister Incorporated conducted an Ostomy Sleep Survey1. The results revealed some interesting insights on how having a stoma impacts sleep and on how ostomates address their sleep issues.

To conduct this research, we collaborated with product distributors and patient organizations to provide nearly 6,000 people with a detailed 15-question online survey. Participants varied in type of ostomy and length of time living with an ostomy.

The survey included both those with healthy and unhealthy/compromised peristomal skin. Nearly 60% of participants were in the unhealthy category, although most of them (40%) reported only reddened skin and no other symptoms. (n=5,690)

The impact of sleeping with an ostomy

Many people experience interrupted sleep for various reasons, including insomnia, sleep apnea, stress, and environmental factors. However, those with an ostomy have an added layer of potential sleep disruption.

The survey results provided strong evidence of an ostomy’s impact on sleep:

  • Nearly 50% of respondents said their pouching system disrupted their sleep in the past 30 days (n=5,648)
  • 75% experienced pouch-related sleep disruptions at least once a week (n=2,476)
  • 64% of participants — nearly 2 in 3 — cited pouch ballooning as a sleep disrupter (n=2,676)
  • 50% said that sleep disruption was due to pouch leakage or worry that the pouch would fail (n=2,676)
  • Nearly 20% said their sleep was disrupted by itchy skin with no visible sign of irritation (n=2,676)

To read more about the data collected and how to address sleep disruptions, keep reading here.

  1. Hollister Data on File, ref-02989, 2022.

This article was contributed by Hollister Incorporated. Hollister Incorporated is a proud sponsor of United Ostomy Associations of America and dedicated to delivering the highest standard of quality in ostomy care products. For more helpful resources, visit http://www.hollister.com/ostomylearningcenter.

Please make sure to consult with your healthcare professional for further guidance and instruction. The information provided herein is not medical advice and is not intended to substitute for the advice of your personal physician or other healthcare provider. Hollister is a trademark of Hollister Incorporated.