The Impact of Advocacy: Healing Yourself and Uplifting Others

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By Nicole Richards

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal someone else.” – Iyanla Vanzant

I believe this quote accurately describes the importance advocacy is to the ostomy community. Living with an ostomy is a true test to one’s physical and emotional health. Raising awareness is sharing our own personal journey of those physical and emotional experiences with others. It’s only with this vulnerable truth, that we allow other ostomates to normalize their situation. Through advocacy we not only work on our own healing journey, but we inspire and support others on theirs.

This past summer I answered the call to take action from UOAA, and I filed a proclamation request with my state’s Governor for Ostomy Awareness Day. While writing the request I opened myself up to a very vulnerable part of my past that I had stuffed away and never fully processed. More specifically, writing the proclamation request made me realize just how much I minimized my own experience of what life was like pre-ostomy. Another realization I had was that I needed to be more compassionate and forgiving of myself for all that I had been through during that time. This was such an “ah ha” moment for me. I am very grateful for the opportunity I had to advocate and share my story. Had I not have taken the time to revisit the years of my life leading up to ostomy surgery I may not have had the opportunity to heal that part of my past.

The Power of Your Story

It is not only healing for ourselves; it is validating for others who are going through similar struggles. Telling your own personal story helps other ostomates feel less lonely on their ostomy journey; it creates connection and community. Talking about your experiences is not just an act of self-care but an act of service to others.

We experience life differently from one another. My perspective and experience could be completely opposite than that of the next person. With that being said, we tend to resonate with people whose journey is similar. Additionally, many of us not only have an ostomy, but we have an underlying health condition that brought us to the point of needing ostomy surgery. The fact that there are numerous reasons a person might need an ostomy makes us such a diverse group of people. This is why your unique ostomy story matters so much.

These personal stories are more memorable than facts, so they are indispensable in advocacy efforts.

By listening to other people’s perspectives and experiences we create awareness and learn something we didn’t understand. Telling your story is not only important for healing of yourself and others, but ostomies carry many misconceptions. Unfortunately, those misconceptions lead to stigmas and barriers. Through advocacy and sharing our story we aid in the breakdown of those barriers and collectively shed light on the realities of living with an ostomy. Equally important when it comes to advocating on issues for the ostomy community, your voice matters! By telling your story, legislators and policy-makers hear how their constituents are affected. These personal stories are more memorable than facts, so they are indispensable in advocacy efforts.

Based off my interactions with the ostomy community, I can almost guarantee most of us are willing to go out of our way to provide support to one another. Furthermore, I believe most ostomates feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment by helping one another. We are strong and resilient beings who have so many stories and experiences to pass on that could deeply encourage and uplift another in the ostomy community, provide awareness to future ostomates and those struggling with their ostomy.

So, where are you in your healing journey?

I recently read a book called “You Can Heal Your Life” by Dolores Hay. She refers to starting the healing process by “cleaning your emotional closet.” You go in, you pick something up, you examine it, then you either store it away for later or you get rid of it. I love this analogy because it allows you to briefly examine the emotion and decide if now is the time to process and release it, or store it away for later when you feel strong enough to do so.

Are there parts of your ostomy story that have been stuffed away in your emotional closet? Are you ready to look at it so you too can get rid of it? Are you ready to impart some of those experiences that may help others and provide awareness? Maybe through advocacy you can find healing too.

My guess is that if you are an ostomate reading this, you have a story to tell. A personal journey someone else would love to hear, connect with, and find encouragement from. You may keep someone else from feeling alone in their ostomy journey. You just never know who needs to hear from you and your unique lived experience!

Editor’s note: If you are interested in getting more involved with UOAA and advocating for the ostomy community, join their Advocacy Network. Have an ostomy supply or care access issue? Your story matters. Contribute your story for national advocacy. Or you can share your ostomy story on UOAA’s Wall of Love!

Peggy: Her Short Bowel Syndrome Story

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Twenty-seven feet. That’s the length of a typical intestinal tract.
Twenty-seven inches…that’s all I have left of MY intestines.
But I didn’t lose more than 90 percent of my intestines all at once. My journey to a Short Bowel Syndrome (SBS) diagnosis is a long story, but one that I hope will help others feel less alone.

If you are living with Short Bowel Syndrome and rely on parenteral support, there’s an SBS Mentor available to connect with you. Click here to learn more.

My Story Begins
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s in my early teens. I was 23 when I had my first bowel resection and ileostomy. Over the next 35 years or so, a pattern developed: from Thanksgiving until Easter, I would become increasingly sick. For me that meant more Crohn’s-related pain, diarrhea, vomiting, and bleeding. I relied on my family, friends, and my doctors to help me manage through those tough times. I was able to graduate college Phi Beta Kappa, summa cum laude, earn a master’s degree in immunology, and become another of the many scientists in my family. But each year, I felt worse, and the symptoms lasted longer until, finally, I would need additional surgery to remove more diseased intestines. Before each operation, my surgeons would tell me they would need to remove just the minimum amount so I would not develop “Short Bowel Syndrome” or “SBS”. I didn’t understand their concerns. I kept thinking, “If they can remove all the bad parts and I end up with SBS, what’s the big deal? I’m already living with all these intestinal problems; it couldn’t be worse.” Or could it??

It got to the point where surgery was just buying me time. And it wasn’t quality time. I can’t even count how often my husband got up in the middle of the night to take me to the ER, and the hours he spent there with me. I had to stop working and go on disability. Added to the pain, diarrhea, and vomiting were more frequent bowel obstructions and fistulas. In my case, the fistulas could not be controlled or repaired. I needed major surgery to remove all the bits and pieces of reconnected intestines that were kinked, strictured and sticking, and patch up the areas where the fistulas had formed.

Major Surgery and an SBS Diagnosis
I had that surgery in August 2013 and had never been more terrified. A few days later, I was moved from the ICU to the “progressive care unit.” The image is still burned in my memory, my husband standing next to me. My surgeon stood in front of me and said, “You definitely have Short Bowel Syndrome now.” He gestured—held his hands in front of himself a bit more than hip-width apart. I thought he was just making a random gesture. “68 centimeters,” he said. That came to a little more than two feet.

I understood the part about my intestines being “shorter” but I didn’t yet understand that there was more to my SBS than just the length of my remaining intestines. I also had reduced function of my remaining intestines, meaning I wasn’t able to absorb enough nutrients from food and drink and needed to depend on parenteral support to maintain my health. This is sometimes referred to as SBS with intestinal failure, or “SBS-IF”.

I was not at all prepared for life with SBS. I was now receiving parenteral support (PS) in the form of two liters of IV hydration twice a week with magnesium and anti-diarrheal drugs. I was experiencing life-threatening electrolyte and mineral imbalances. Knowing I could die within hours if I couldn’t get adequately hydrated and get my electrolytes balanced was the most frightening thing to me. In fact, not two months after my surgery, I became so severely dehydrated that by the time I got to the ER my kidneys had shut down, and my potassium was so high I was on the verge of cardiac arrest. When I was able to sleep, I kept my fingers on my pulse. I was used to always looking for the nearest bathroom. Now, I was also looking for the nearest ER.

Partnering with my Doctor to Start SBS Treatment
There came a day when I finally cried with my doctor. He made some phone calls to colleagues to find out what they were doing to treat their SBS patients. On Christmas Eve, he called me excitedly to say he had learned that GATTEX® (teduglutide) for subcutaneous injection is a prescription medicine used in adults and children aged 1 year and older with Short Bowel Syndrome who need additional nutrition or fluids from intravenous (IV) feeding (parenteral support). We talked and, as part of that conversation, he encouraged me to read more about the possible benefits and serious risks, including making abnormal cells grow faster, polyps in the intestines, blockage of the bowel (intestines), swelling (inflammation) or blockage of your gallbladder or pancreas, and fluid overload.

Please continue reading for additional Important Safety Information.

After continuing to talk with my doctor about the possible side effects, I decided I would try it. A Takeda Patient Support nurse came to my home to show me how to prepare and measure my dose and give my GATTEX injection correctly. We practiced injecting on a dummy device. And then it was time to do the real thing. I remember how nervous I was, but what a feeling to be able to do this for myself!

Now, I take my GATTEX at night, right before bedtime. I rotate between four different injection sites on my body. I number the vials in my kit “1, 2, 3, 4” to remind me which spot to inject on which day. Under the supervision of my infusion nurse and my doctor, I was able to reduce my IV hydration from routinely getting two liters twice a week to regularly getting one liter once a week and, for a time, only receiving IV hydration on an as-needed basis. While this was true for me, not all people who take GATTEX will be able to reduce their weekly PS volume. I eventually had to start PS again. I do sometimes experience redness after injecting or notice a bloated feeling, and I have experienced some bowel blockages. I worked with my doctor to manage these side effects. He temporarily stopped GATTEX when I developed each bowel blockage and restarted GATTEX when they resolved. Again, this is my experience, and others may have different experiences with the medication.

I am glad I have a team of doctors I can trust, and who listen to me. I believe it’s important to educate yourself about treatment options, including the risks and benefits, and to communicate with your doctors when something isn’t working. My doctors continue to closely monitor me and adjust my medications, including all my electrolytes, minerals, and oral supplements. Overall, I am happy with my results.

I have learned many lessons through my life with serious illness, but I think one of the most important things I’ve learned is to be flexible. For me, this means being honest with myself and what I am physically capable of doing in a given day—to recognize that what I can do today might be different from what I could to do the day before. Nowadays, I try not to push myself beyond my limits.

And there’s one more thing I’m doing for myself: I’m sharing my experiences with others. For so long, I was not involved with the Short Bowel Syndrome community. Friends and family are wonderful, but I think it’s important to find a network of people who have been through similar experiences. For me, the people who truly understand what I’ve been through have helped me come out from the shadows, and I am happy with who I am.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

What is the most important information I should know about GATTEX? GATTEX may cause serious side effects, including:

Making abnormal cells grow faster

GATTEX can make abnormal cells that are already in your body grow faster. There is an increased risk that abnormal cells could become cancer. If you get cancer of the bowel (intestines), liver, gallbladder or pancreas while using GATTEX, your healthcare provider should stop GATTEX. If you get other types of cancers, you and your healthcare provider should discuss the risks and benefits of using GATTEX.

Polyps in the intestines

Polyps are growths on the inside of the intestines. For adult patients, your healthcare provider will have your colon and upper intestines checked for polyps within 6 months before starting GATTEX, and have any polyps removed. To keep using GATTEX, your healthcare provider should have your colon and upper intestines checked for polyps at the end of 1 year of using GATTEX.

For pediatric patients, your healthcare provider will check for blood in the stool within 6 months before starting GATTEX. If there is blood in the stool, your healthcare provider will check your colon and upper intestines for polyps, and have any polyps removed. To keep using GATTEX, your healthcare provider will check for blood in the stool every year during treatment of GATTEX. If there is blood in the stool, your healthcare provider will check your colon and upper intestines for polyps. The colon will be checked for polyps at the end of 1 year of using GATTEX.

For adult and pediatric patients, if no polyp is found at the end of 1 year, your healthcare provider should check you for polyps as needed and at least every 5 years. If any new polyps are found, your healthcare provider will have them removed and may recommend additional monitoring. If cancer is found in a polyp, your healthcare provider should stop GATTEX.

Blockage of the bowel (intestines)

A bowel blockage keeps food, fluids, and gas from moving through the bowels in the normal way. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms of a bowel or stomal blockage:

  • trouble having a bowel movement or passing gas
  • stomach area (abdomen) pain or swelling
  • nausea
  • vomiting
  • swelling and blockage of your stoma opening, if you have a stoma

If a blockage is found, your healthcare provider may temporarily stop GATTEX.

Swelling (inflammation) or blockage of your gallbladder or pancreas

Your healthcare provider will do tests to check your gallbladder and pancreas within 6 months before starting GATTEX and at least every 6 months while you are using GATTEX. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get:

  • stomach area (abdomen) pain and tenderness
  • chills
  • fever
  • a change in your stools
  • nausea
  • vomiting
  • dark urine
  • yellowing of your skin or the whites of your eyes
Fluid overload

Your healthcare provider will check you for too much fluid in your body. Too much fluid in your body may lead to heart failure, especially if you have heart problems. Tell your healthcare provider if you get swelling in your feet and ankles, you gain weight very quickly (water weight), or you have trouble breathing.

The most common side effects of GATTEX include:

  • stomach area (abdomen) pain or swelling
  • nausea
  • cold or flu symptoms
  • skin reaction where the injection was given
  • vomiting
  • swelling of the hands or feet
  • allergic reactions

The side effects of GATTEX in children and adolescents are similar to those seen in adults. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before using GATTEX?

Tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including if you or your child:

  • have cancer or a history of cancer
  • have or had polyps anywhere in your bowel (intestines) or rectum
  • have heart problems
  • have high blood pressure
  • have problems with your gallbladder, pancreas, kidneys
  • are pregnant or planning to become It is not known if GATTEX will harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you become pregnant while using GATTEX.
  • are breastfeeding or plan to It is not known if GATTEX passes into your breast milk. You should not breastfeed during treatment with GATTEX. Talk to your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby while using GATTEX.

Tell your healthcare providers about all the medicines you take, including prescription or over-the counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Using GATTEX with certain other medicines may affect each other causing side effects. Your other healthcare providers may need to change the dose of any oral medicines (medicines taken by mouth) you take while using GATTEX. Tell the healthcare provider who gives you GATTEX if you will be taking a new oral medicine.

Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

What is GATTEX®?

GATTEX® (teduglutide) for subcutaneous injection is a prescription medicine used in adults and children 1 year of age and older with Short Bowel Syndrome (SBS) who need additional nutrition or fluids from intravenous (IV) feeding (parenteral support). It is not known if GATTEX is safe and effective in children under 1 year of age.

For additional safety information, click here for full Prescribing Information and Medication Guide, and discuss any questions with your doctor.

To learn more about Short Bowel Syndrome and a prescription treatment visit https://www.gattex.com/short-bowel-syndrome/

Editor’s Note: This educational article is from one of our digital sponsors, Takeda. Sponsor support along with donations from our readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

GATTEX and the GATTEX Logo are registered trademarks of Takeda Pharmaceuticals U.S.A., Inc. TAKEDA and the TAKEDA Logo are registered trademarks of Takeda Pharmaceutical Company Limited. ©2024 Takeda Pharmaceuticals U.S.A., Inc. All rights reserved. 1-877-TAKEDA-7 (1-877-825-3327). US-TED-1399v3.0 10/24

Embracing Life After Surgery 

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Before cancer came into my life, I was a very social person. My various professional ventures along with the diverse group of friends kept me on the go. Even though I dealt with anxiety it was mild enough that I was still a social butterfly.  

I was diagnosed with anal cancer on May 5, 2015, that’s Cinco de Mayo. We had the day planned, going to the groceries for Taco & Nacho Day. Watch mindless shows and spend the day together.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world.

We were three years into our relationship, and this was not on our Bingo card of relationships… Or was it? That whole summer was spent in bed or on the couch sleeping. I couldn’t stand a lot of smells or people- so not much socializing.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world. You are dependent on them for food, medical needs, and conversation. Chrisitan, my boyfriend, was all that and more. He was also my punching bag and took all my frustration and honestly, I don’t know where he put that energy.

It made our relationship stronger; it tested the relationship and us. He also helped me get back into the real world easier although it takes the caregiver longer to step out of his role. I don’t know if they ever leave completely.  

It took almost six months to decide or be convinced for the ostomy surgery. I had done hyperbaric chamber treatment, and we were hoping things would heal. We expected a miracle. My sphincter would not grow back.  

Diapers were not very convenient for work. I traveled quite a bit and changing on the go was a pain in the butt. Those changing tables in the bathroom don’t hold an adult! I finally picked a date for the surgery.  

My surgery was scheduled for April 1, 2016. If that date sounds familiar it’s because it’s April Fool’s Day. Yes, my surgery was a joke, and I wasn’t laughing. I didn’t have a mentor, buddy or a nurse to tell me what to do. My brain was in constant conflict between I don’t want anyone to see me, and I need to get back out in front of people. I wanted to act, public speak, or at best go shopping and try on clothes.

Go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

When I first started to go out in public, I would use surgical tape and bind my bag down. I was sure that if I taped it hard enough it would go away. I felt so self-conscious that I would wear shirts one size larger.

Then one day, in a support group, I heard about wraps. I had to look up this miracle device that would give me back my manly figure. As if they were security secrets that you had to find through a scavenger hunt.

I felt confident, strong, and back to me… Kinda. I felt like a piggy bank and that everyone was looking at my belly. Finally, Tommy the Ostomy and I had worked out the kinks, made peace, and became frenemies… Kinda.

Eight years later I am out more, I travel more, and still panic a bit. Tommy still manages to surprise me from time to time. Almost every day I put on my belly-bra to keep things tight and snug, and I watch my weight so things don’t pop out.

I still get panic attacks, I still think everyone is looking at me, and I still think I’ll wake up and It’ll be gone. Except I have more self-esteem, I share my story, and I look great in a tight shirt and jeans!

If I could share any words of wisdom if a new ostomate it would be go hunting online for patient stories and trusted information like this website. Find a support group and ask as many questions as pop in your head. Some things you’ll learn on your own but we’re here to help.

Another thing, go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

Do you speak stoma?

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A New Guide aims to help you find the right words to talk about your ostomy

By Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA

The Speaking Stoma Guide is the first health communication guide for people with ostomies. This work was coproduced through collaboration with ostomates worldwide, UOAA, clinical experts, and health communication experts. This guide is freely available here on UOAA’s website, encompassing 11 communication topics areas including managing pouch leaks, communicating with friends and family, and intimacy.

This work has been inspired by our experience working with ostomates. We recognize that talking about your ostomy will not always be easy. We created the Speaking Stoma Guide to help. We hope this guide gives you an idea of things you could say if you are ever in similar situations and ways to manage challenging social situations that may arise. Each section has a big topic and has different situations that you may experience. In the next section, we will provide a snapshot of situations inspired by real people with ostomies.

Leaks
In this section, we have suggestions for what you might say to help manage the situation based on how much you want to disclose about having an ostomy. These phrases were produced directly from things ostomates told us. For people who did not want to disclose anything about having an ostomy (low disclosure), a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the bathroom?” For high disclosure, a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the restroom? My ostomy pouch has leaked and I need to clean up. Would you be able to find me an extra set of clothes? I really appreciate it!” Each section has several suggestions like this.

Talking About Food
With an ostomy, some people have limitations on the food that they can eat. Some ostomates expressed embarrassment when they couldn’t eat the same food everyone else is eating. It’s hard to say “no” whenever someone offers you food. One participant noted that he once told a host on behalf of his wife: “Please don’t take offense. She doesn’t eat these things. It’s not your cooking.” For higher disclosure, a person may say “Thank you so much for inviting me. After my surgery I’m still figuring out the foods that make me feel best, so I ate before I came. Everything looks delicious!” In general, there are many people with and without ostomies that have dietary restrictions.

Public Restrooms
What do you do when you need to use a public restroom to care for your ostomy and there is a long line! For low disclosure, you may consider saying: “Excuse me, I have an emergency and need to get to a restroom right now.” This does not reveal anything to strangers except the urgent need. For higher disclosure, you may reveal the presence of your ostomy and the rapid need for its care. People in line can be helpful too. One of our participants recalls how a stranger helped her get to the front of the line during a pouch leak.

Talking to Friends and Family
Time with friends and family are vital to everyone. How do you address having an ostomy with them? Some of our participants suggested having a “code name” for the ostomy that they can use with their family and friends to talk it in public. Unfortunately, some people have disparaging comments or jokes about ostomies once they know about it. Some ostomates use humor back to deflect the situation. It is also ok to say: “I am not really comfortable joking about my ostomy like that, but I am glad you will be willing to help if I need it. I really appreciate it.”

Noises
Noises happen! People with ostomies have no control of when they happen. In the beginning, our participants noted that they felt awkward about the noises their ostomies made. It helped people to remember that no one knows that the noises came from the ostomy. It is ok to say nothing (low disclosure). It is also ok to say: “Excuse me, I have an ostomy pouch and sometimes it makes noises” (medium disclosure).

Sex and Intimacy
Some people are not sure when or how to tell a romantic partner about their ostomy. There is no right or wrong time. Some people may choose to tell someone immediately, while other people might wait to tell the person until they know the person better. Your comfort is what is most important. We have suggestions and real-life testimonies in the guide related to speaking about sex and intimacy while having an ostomy.

Talking to Clinicians
We also go through ways to manage different levels of challenging social situations or what we term as “difficulty.” For example, you are in a clinical visit with a new physician who is not familiar with ostomies. Our participants universally encountered this situation. They noted that they often are the most knowledgeable person about ostomies in a clinical visit. In the guide we provide some easy to remember suggestions about how to manage this situation and others.

What’s Next?
We are scientists and this work does not end here. We are actively working to obtain funding to test this guide to see if it makes a difference for people with ostomies. We have also translated the guide into Spanish and are pilot testing it with people who prefer to speak in Spanish. Our experiences with major grant organizations, however, has been underwhelming to say the least. Some reviewers talk about “osteotomies” (surgically created bone holes) instead of ostomies demonstrating their complete lack of basic understanding. Other reviewers assumed that existing information already contained a wealth of communication-related information for ostomates. Despite these, we are undeterred and will keep pushing forward for funding. We would appreciate any support for this work from anyone including the ostomy community, ostomy pouch manufacturers, and local/state health agencies to keep the momentum going! We would also appreciate your feedback on the Speaking Stoma Guide. Please feel free to email me at jivatury@austin.utexas.edu.

Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA, is an associate professor of surgery Dell Medical School and the inaugural chief of colon and rectal surgery at UT Health Austin. The Speaking Stoma Project was funded through the Communication for Health, Empathy, and Resilience Grant Program and created in partnership with Dell Medical School and the Center for Health Communication at The University of Texas at Austin.

Sexual well-being and intimacy after ostomy surgery

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After ostomy surgery, it’s natural to feel sensitive about how your body has changed and be concerned about how it might affect intimacy and your sex life in the future.

Wherever you are in your journey, your sexual well-being is an important part of who you are.

  • Sexual well-being is an important part of everyone’s life, regardless of whether you are in a committed relationship, enjoying or thinking about dating, not sexually active, or unpartnered.1 
  • It covers many areas including body image and self-esteem, sexual function, reproductive health, emotional and physical satisfaction, and can impact both your physical and mental well-being. 1, 2
  • Pleasurable, fulfilling and fun sexual and intimate experiences are not out of bounds because you’ve had ostomy surgery. And no matter what your relationship status, age, gender or sexuality, starting the conversation about sex is just as important as the discussions around diet, exercise, skin issues and generally living with your ostomy.

Here are some topics you can explore in more detail in A Guide to Intimacy after Ostomy Surgery:

  • If you’re not ready, don’t rush. For some, intimacy will be one of the most important aspects of life they want to resume post-surgery, and for others, it might be the last thing on their minds.
  • When you are ready….Communication is the key when it comes to intimacy. Make time to talk to your partner.
  • Enjoying intimacy with an ostomy is anything but boring! Refer to the Guide for tips to increase your, and your partner’s, enjoyment.
  • Sexual orientation: Whatever your gender identity and sexual orientation, there are so many different ways of expressing and enjoying intimate moments including holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling and lots more.
  • Common issues that can affect everyone. The most common issues reported to us from people following ostomy surgery are feeling they must resume intimate relationships straightaway, and a fear of disappointing their partner.1 Two very common conditions that can affect sexual intimacy – vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction – can be experienced by men and women at all stages of life, and whether they have an ostomy or not.
  • Pregnancy with an ostomy: Many women with an ostomy worry that pregnancy will be an issue after surgery, but in the vast majority of cases, it shouldn’t be. Most women are able to enjoy a very typical experience.

For more information, download A Guide to Intimacy after Ostomy Surgery

  1. References: 1. A Cross-National Study of Subjective Sexual Well-Being Among Older Women and Men: Findings From the Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Publication Title: Springer. Publication Date: 4/2006 . Author: Laumann, Edward; Paik, Anthony; Glasser, Dale; Kang, Jeong-Han; Wang, Tianfu; Levinson, Bernard; Moreira, Edson; Nicolosi, Alfredo; Gingell, Clive. 2. What is sexual well-being and why does it matter for public health? Kirstin R Mitchell, Ruth Lewis, Lucia F O’Sullivan, J Dennis Fortenberry. Lancet Public Health 2021; 6: e608–13. Published Online. June 21, 2021. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2468-2667(21)00099-2.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Dressing to Feel Good

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By Lynn Wolfson

It is amazing what a boost one can get from dressing to feel and look good, especially those of us with ostomies. I know that when my hair is cut into an easy style that I can maintain, my nails are done and my clothes fit, I feel beautiful. When I feel beautiful, I am happy and share it with the world.

As an ostomy support group leader, I often hear from new ostomates struggling with what to wear after surgery. Many people may have their own style and should explore options to keep wearing the clothing they love. Too many others seem to lose confidence and motivation to dress in the more presentable ways they once did. Overall, I stress to dress so that you feel confident, comfortable, and good about yourself.

So, let us start with the pants. Depending on where the ostomy is located, this will determine whether one would be comfortable with zipper and button pants such as jeans. For me, I find that too restrictive, especially since I have two ostomies. Instead, I prefer either maternity pants, so I have belly room and my legs are not baggy or high elastic-waisted pants. I buy a variety of solid colors of the pants that I find most comfortable.

Unfortunately, men do not have the same choices as women. They should find a brand of pants that are comfortable for them and get them in an array of colors. Stretchable waists can be found on various pants and shorts designs, so don’t feel like you have to resort to athletic wear if you don’t want to.

The tops for women are fun to shop.  I usually get a loose shirt or blouse that goes over the pants. I get multiple tops for each pair of pants so I can mix and match.

Men may still have to tuck their shirts in for business. However casually, they can wear a shirt outside their pants or shorts.

It helps to be beautiful on the outside, especially when I am not physically feeling great.

Since I live in Florida, I only wear pants when it is chilly or when I travel to colder climates.  Personally, I prefer wearing dresses that do not have a waist.  I find them very comfortable and cooler in our hot climate. However, these dresses are not appropriate for business. I do have more tailored dresses without a waistline to wear for business occasions. I generally prefer wearing dresses just below the knee as one of my ostomy bags hangs low.

Shoes should be comfortable. Wear sneakers whenever possible if that’s what you want to do. In Florida, I wear sandals with rubber soles. Up north, boots are a necessity.

Lastly, I get my hair colored and shaped once every six weeks to keep it looking fresh and easy for me to maintain. I also get my nails done every three weeks.

It helps to be beautiful on the outside, especially when I am not physically feeling great. It helps me to get myself going and not have that get back into bed feeling. It is all a matter of attitude!  When I dress for success, I feel good about myself and am successful in getting things done.

Victor’s Ostomy Story

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Choosing Ostomy Surgery

Before I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, I had zero health issues throughout my life, except for high blood pressure. Fast forward to age 26 and I started experiencing a lot of blood in my stool with no idea why. I can be a stubborn person so I didn’t tell anyone what was happening; not even the people closest to me. A few months went by and my mother noticed blood in the toilet pretty consistently and asked me about it. I told her that it had been going on for months and that I didn’t know why.

We ended up going to our local gastroenterologist and they did tests and I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Obviously, I had no idea what it was but he said that I would need to change my diet and to watch what I eat. Fast forward a year or more and I had already been through two GIs and I was being sent to another. They said that I had a very severe case of ulcerative colitis. Meanwhile, around two years in I lost the ability to be able to hold my bowels in for longer than a few seconds. I was miserable, had lost a lot of weight, and also a lot of “friends”. This was also all happening during the COVID pandemic so I wasn’t able to see my doctors in person.

The final year before I got surgery I had lost 40-50 pounds, had been to the emergency department  countless times, as well as hospitalized 3-4 times. I ended up being super anemic and needed iron infusions as well as one blood infusion. That last year was the final straw. The summer of 2021 I ended up losing my bowels on myself 40+ times on my 20-minute drive home from work. I told my boss I couldn’t work anymore and that’s when I first heard about ostomies and started researching. I didn’t know what an ostomy bag was before then but after joining a subreddit on Reddit called r/Ostomy I started to see that an ostomy was the answer to my problem.

I went to my GI and told him that I’m done trying medicine, I’m done not being able to go out and experience life, I’m done with prednisone (which was wrecking my body), and  I’m done being physically, mentally, and spiritually drained. I was completely broken. He said that all he could do was refer me to a surgeon. I arrived at the surgeon’s office begging him for surgery and he said “I’ve never had a patient come into my office practically begging me for surgery, so yes we can do it.”

Getting an ostomy completely changed my life but I didn’t let it completely change me.

Two months later I was walking in for a total colectomy and a placement of a stoma. I was afraid but I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was. So February 21 of 2022 I got Stoma Steve. It only took a few weeks to know that I made the right decision. I felt better immediately. Luckily, I had a lot of help between my spirituality, my support network, my family, the subreddit r/Ostomy, and the surgeon’s office. I couldn’t have done it alone.

I didn’t want to mention this because I didn’t want it to be a focal point of my story, but at the time of my surgery I had over 5+ years clean from ALL mood or mind-altering chemicals so I didn’t go home from the hospital with any medicine besides Tylenol. Honestly, the recovery wasn’t bad but only a short few months after I developed a prolapse of my stoma. It was a big one but it wasn’t affecting my daily life (besides the anxiety it caused me) so they opted to wait to fix it until I decided whether or not I wanted to keep the stoma forever or get a reversal.

I want to be able to share with people that just because I have something like an ostomy doesn’t mean I can’t do the things I love. Being a bright light in a horrible disease is a blessing for me.

I researched reversals and with the help of family decided that I was going to keep the ostomy bag. So on January 10th of 2023 I got my rectum and anus removed and they fixed my stoma prolapse. Again, the recovery wasn’t bad but this time the hospital stay was horrible. I ended up getting straight cathed three times, I had an NG tube placed because Stoma Steve wasn’t pushing food out and my drain was bothering me for the month I had it. Again, I can’t thank the subreddit r/Ostomy enough because they were who I vented to and talked to for help and coping strategies because no one in my life except them knew what I was going through.

My Ostomy bag and stoma has saved my life. This year has been one of the best years of my life. I explored nature, started exercising, running/walking 5ks, fishing more, cycling, and many other things. I’m a Patient Care Technician in the Behavioral Health Unit in my local hospital. I love being able to help people on a daily basis. Being able to fulfill my purpose; which is helping other people, brings me joy daily. That is why I want to share my story.

I did no know about UOAA until I became interested in wanting to share my story and researched how to get involved with advocacy and sharing about ostomies. I would love to do the Run for Resilience Ostomy 5K on World Ostomy Day this year and get more involved with the UOAA community.

Getting an ostomy completely changed my life but I didn’t let it completely change me. A lot of people don’t understand why I’m so positive and happy most of the time. It is because I have been through a lot in my short 30 years of life and I don’t want to let the bad things outweigh the good things. I want to be able to share with people that just because I have something like an ostomy doesn’t mean I can’t do the things I love. Being a bright light in a horrible disease is a blessing for me.

Thank you for reading!!

‘UOAA Has Been A Lifesaver for Me’ Says New Ostomate

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When first presented with having a “bag” I was terrified. I had a lot of questions…. How will I wear my clothes? Will I still be able to run or lift weights? Will I ever date again? How can I go to the beach? And so many more. I really was not familiar with this at all.

How UOAA Helps: Connie contacted UOAA before surgery earlier this year and is now on the path to health and happiness in life with an ostomy. Donate to help the next ostomate in need.

I did my fair share of googling, but there are so many conflicting pieces of information out there. I also joined some Facebook groups to find some support.  That proved to be very confusing and often quite discouraging. In February of 2023, a week before my surgery, I met with an ostomy nurse for the first time.  That is when it hit me.  She showed me a practice stoma, put my markings on, and had me look in a mirror with a bag.  I realized I needed more information in order to navigate this the best I can.

Finding UOAA

I came home and searched for ostomy support groups in my area and found one. I immediately connected with them, and they shared UOAA’s information with me. I then went on to their website ostomy.org to gain as much knowledge as possible. I went into surgery with a positive attitude because I knew my life would be so much better afterward.

The people I talked to at UOAA’s office were so helpful! They answered all my questions, and I had a lot!  They directed me to many resources like a New Patient Guide and sent me links to videos and other information which I still use. It is reassuring to know that I can reach out with questions and that they will be there for support.

UOAA has been a lifesaver for me. I was overwhelmed following my ostomy surgery. I am so excited that I am feeling better. I am so appreciative of the connections I have been able to make and the educational materials I have received by contacting UOAA.

On February 23, 2023, I had surgery for an end ileostomy, total colectomy, rectopexy, and hernia and bladder repair. After a lifetime of being a prisoner to my colon and GI tract, a ton of medications, and a ridiculous daily twelve-hour ritual that dictated my days, I finally was given hope to improve my quality of life. The day after surgery I already knew this was the right thing for me, and I somehow felt “free” of all the meds and issues I had before.

Helpful Free Resources

UOAA sent me a welcome packet in the mail with a ton of info about nutrition, living with an ostomy, exercise materials, you name it. The coolest thing was the card to use with TSA when I fly… that is going to be a lifesaver, I think! I had many questions about getting back to my normal activities, and I was sent links to Youtube and even Instagram of people that have ostomies and have resumed, or even surpassed, their pre-ostomy fitness routines.

My experience has definitely been better with my local ostomy group and with UOAA by my side.

A link to an occupational therapist was also helpful. I started following and connecting with many of these people, as I have found inspiration in them. I have since called UOAA several more times seeking answers to my questions, concerns, or even worries. Each time they have promptly responded and provided me with continued optimism as I begin this ostomy journey.

UOAA Helped Me Feel ‘Normal’ Again

I think that the biggest thing is that UOAA helped me to feel “normal” and that I am not alone in this.  Starting out with an ostomy is pretty scary, and there are a lot of unknowns. So much of what you read is negative from people that have had problems or are just very discouraged with their situations. UOAA shares the successes, the positives, and the education so that you can learn and grow each day knowing that you don’t have to give up anything at all.

For me, I plan to get back to my full fitness routine once I am fully recovered. I already feel healthier than I have for so many years.  But I know I still have a lot of learning to do… from appliances (I still can’t figure out the best ones for me), to the different types of foods to eat, to stoma care (I still always want to make sure everything is okay), to traveling, exercise, clothing, wraps, connecting with other people with ostomies, and maybe even dating again in my future. My experience has definitely been better with my local ostomy group and with UOAA by my side.

Grateful to Learn More at the National Conference this Summer

I’m also very thankful to have been awarded a CARES scholarship (FYI, current scholarships have been filled) to attend UOAA’s National Conference in Houston. This assistance will allow me to continue on my journey in a healthy and positive way.

As a single 57-year-old mom, I have three grown children (one still in graduate school), a new granddaughter, and two younger children I adopted, one with unique medical needs – it has not been easy. Last year’s hurricane, coupled with the astronomical surgery costs, have me struggling greatly on a teacher’s salary. I have worked really hard to provide for other people, and I’ve never really done for me.

This conference is something I feel is important for me as I want to be able to live my life to the fullest. I strive to be the best Nana, mom, and person I can be. I want to embrace my body, my life with an ostomy, and continually improve my quality of life.. It will allow me to move forward, make connections, gain much-needed knowledge, be an advocate for myself and others, and to stay “OSTOMISTIC!” 

One day I can even envision myself advocating for others in the ostomy world, being active in the ostomy community, and I would love to get to the point where I can even be an inspiration to others.

Connie, you are already inspiring to those of us at UOAA.

Please Donate to UOAA to put other people like Connie on a successful path.  Support quality of life resources, education and advocacy for people living with an ostomy or continent diversion. United Ostomy Associations of America inc. (UOAA) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and all donations are tax deductible. Thank you!

Shared by Connie Pollina of Naples, Florida

Telling People About Your Ostomy

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It’s been said before, but it is worth repeating: who you tell about your ostomy and when you tell them is completely up to you. This is the first and foremost rule you should keep in mind when it comes to sharing about your ostomy. Most likely others won’t know you have an ostomy unless you bring it up.  If you are reading this before your surgery, you will need to think about what kind of support you are looking for. As you decide to let people in on your new situation, consider who can offer you the support and friendship you need during this time.

Place of Work

There is no right or wrong way when it comes to sharing about your ostomy at work. It might be that no one needs to know about it, it doesn’t affect your work and you are receiving enough support from friends and family and other people outside of work. Or, your situation might be that you need to take frequent breaks to empty your pouch and so explaining a little bit about your surgery will help your employer to understand what’s going on. Again, feel free to be as specific or general as you want. It might even be helpful to write out a small script so you can go into this conversation with added confidence. Decide how much you want to share, and how willing you are to answer questions.

Family and Close Friends

Hopefully, you aren’t trying to go through this life-changing experience alone. Family and/or friends should be the foundation of your support network. Having someone you trust at medical appointments with you can be helpful for your morale, but also to have another set of ears to remember details and information that you may have missed. When you decide to let other people close to you in on the reality of your situation, ask the person who was with you at those appointments to be there to support you. It’s amazing how much more confident we can feel having the energy of a loving and loyal person at our side.

Romantic Partners

If you are in a committed relationship prior to your surgery, then it’s likely they will be informed of your ostomy and the changes to your body. While it can be scary to let people in and tell them about your ostomy, it can be even scarier to be alone in the process. Going through this with a partner by your side can be so beneficial to your recovery process, and can also help to strengthen your relationship.

Dating after your ostomy can seem daunting at first, but as you heal and become more and more comfortable with your new routine, your confidence will grow.  Keep in mind that it’s completely up to you when to tell a new romantic partner about your ostomy. As with your workmates, you may want to take the time to figure out what you want to say before you say it. It’s okay to keep it short and basic and then decide if you want to take some time to answer questions.

Confidence

The more confident and comfortable you are with your ostomy, the more this will show when you speak about it. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to heal and get used to the changes and new routine that an ostomy brings. Try to focus on the positive things that having an ostomy surgery has done for you and your body. It may be helpful to speak with others who are in a similar situation.  Talk to someone who has gone before you and find out how they told people about their ostomy.

It’s up to you who you tell, when you tell them and how you do it.

Visit the Coloplast Care site for more information on sharing about your ostomy at work.

 

Information from Coloplast® Care is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice and should not be interpreted to contain treatment recommendations. You should rely on the healthcare professional who knows your individual history for personal medical advice and diagnosis.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Life as a Double Ostomate

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For people who have recently come to accept or are still struggling to manage one ostomy the news that they may need to have a second stoma and pouching system could be overwhelming. Please know you are not alone. Many people are able to thrive in life with two ostomies, or multiple diversions.

When UOAA hears from those with questions for a double ostomate we often refer them to ostomy community friend Jearlean Taylor.  Jearlean wanted to share some advice and invite all double ostomates to her talk and open discussion entitled “Life as a Double Ostomate” on August 12, 2023 as part of UOAA’s National Conference in Houston, Texas.

Sharing with the community of double ostomates is so refreshing and exciting. It is true “we are not alone”. We can live our life as a double ostomate with joy.

I am Jearlean from Baltimore, Maryland. I am a double ostomate, fashion model, author, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and ostomy advocate.

My life has had some unexpected outcomes. I guess you can say “life” happened. At the tender age of 3 years old I developed a rare form of cancer (Rhabdomyosarcoma). Because of the tumors I had to undergo ostomy surgery, which left me with two permanent ostomies (colostomy & urostomy).

If you or a child come to find you need a second ostomy my advice is to ADAPT. I had to learn to adapt. As I got older it was two major things for me to adapt; body and mind. When we hear two ostomies we get scared, but when we accept what we can’t change it says we are survivors. I adapted to new ways of taking care of my body (ostomies) and keeping my mind positive. Those still adapting to having two ostomies reflect how far you have come and where you are now. Celebrate each moment.

A Common question or statement I get is “you had your ostomies that long. How did you adapt?” The moment I learned to deal with my medical circumstance when my mom explained that I was not different from anyone else. I am beautiful with my bags. I can be, do, and follow my passions and dreams. I can live a full and vibrant life. It happened just as she said. Because of what she instilled in me, I BELIEVED IT.

When we hear two ostomies we get scared, but when we accept what we can’t change it says we are survivors.

Sharing with the community of double ostomates is so refreshing and exciting. It is true “we are not alone”. We can live our life as a double ostomate with joy. We are more than our ostomies.

I also try to give encouraging tips for dressing with an ostomy for comfort and peace of mind. Remember.

  • We are beautiful from the inside out
  • Work with your body type and comfort
  • Look for clothing that YOU like ,and what is comfortable for your ostomies
  • Shopping for clothing; take a family or friend along for support
  • Try on multiple items of clothing, even the clothing in your closet
  • Consider ostomy accessories (ostomy wraps, stealth belt, hernia belt, fitted tops, high waist undergarments, etc..)

We have the ability to make a difference and change lives even through our struggles. You may have an ostomy, dealing with chronic illness, feeling down and inadequate at times, but remember you are more than you have become.  Our situations, challenges, and unforeseen circumstances does not have to dictate who we are or who we can become. My purpose is to inform everyone that “life” happens to us all; good, bad, and indifferent. I want to show people even through our struggles, pain, disease, and even having ostomy we have a purpose in life.

“DIFFERENT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE“

 

You can find Jearlean online at jearleantaylor.com and across social media. Meet her and a whole community of double ostomates at UOAA’s 8th National Conference August 10-12, 2023, In Houston Texas.