Our Ostomy Story- Chris and Alexa

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A couple’s story of Crohn’s disease, caregiving, and family

Our battle with Crohn’s disease began back in the spring of 2006, one week after we started dating in high school. I was 16, and my now husband, Chris, was 17. We first met each other on the tennis court a few years before this- a love we still share to this day. Being just 16 and surrounded by a relatively healthy family, I had never experienced the wrath of any chronic illness, personally or by association. Chris had also been a healthy kid, which is why he and his parents found his worsening symptoms to be so alarming. As teenagers, we didn’t yet realize he had a serious condition that would need managed for the rest of our lives.

His first hospitalization happened the week after he asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember being very surprised and clueless as to why he was in the hospital. He and I practiced tennis together almost every single day, and I hadn’t noticed that anything was wrong. (To fully appreciate this journey, you have to realize that Chris does not complain about anything. Ever. He works really hard and refuses to make excuses- a trait that is both very admirable and very frustrating). Little did I know, Chris had been suffering from severe abdominal cramping, bloody diarrhea, frequent bowel movements, and weight loss for a few months, eventually landing himself a stay in the hospital. After undergoing a full GI work-up including colonoscopy and biopsies, Chris was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (UC). He was discharged from the hospital the day before my junior prom, and he still put on a tux and attended with a smile on his face. He had joked that he was going to make it to the prom even if he had to bring his IV pole with him.

For the next year, Chris was treated with a mix of immunosuppressant medications, steroids, and blood transfusions without any improvement.

I felt so out of control. Being a patient is tough, and being a caregiver is tough- both in very different ways.

That following spring, he was referred by his local GI specialist to Cleveland Clinic for another assessment. Seeing how severe his disease was even after aggressive conservative treatment, Cleveland recommended he undergo extensive surgery by having a total proctocolectomy with ileoanal anastomosis and creation of a J-pouch with a temporary diverting ileostomy to definitively treat his UC. Chris was only 18 years old.

Chris had that first operation, which was successful, and was thankfully able to have his ileostomy reversed 3 months later. He traveled the long 4 hours back home from Cleveland and made it just in time for my high school graduation. He healed well after that second surgery and was able to begin schooling for diesel mechanics while I went to college. We got engaged before I started grad school, and he got a job working as a diesel mechanic. We then got married at 22 and 23 years old, excited to be finishing up with school and moving back home to start our adult lives. Unfortunately, for the next couple of years, he continued to have a slow progression of the same symptoms he was experiencing before his J-pouch surgery, meaning more severe abdominal cramping, bloody diarrhea, very frequent bowel movements, and weight loss. In addition to these symptoms, he developed a new complication: perianal fistulas. These symptoms persisted, leading to another scope and biopsies confirming a new diagnosis of Crohn’s disease.

Following this new diagnosis we were referred back to Cleveland Clinic for more treatment, which included multiple new medications, steroids, and transfusions. While Chris’s J-pouch surgery would have been somewhat curative for ulcerative colitis, it made it harder to effectively manage his Crohn’s. Chris continued to have this active disease in a surgically constructed reservoir (i.e. the J-pouch) making his condition, and the accompanying complications, very difficult to treat. No matter what medications he tried or how high the dosage, his health continued to deteriorate.

Over the next several years, Chris’s body went on to form a complex network of fistulas, which required multiple procedures for seton placement. He had tried hyperbaric oxygen therapy to help with the healing of his external fistulas and wounds. Unfortunately this treatment did not work.

Our kids have also been involved in everything concerning Chris’s ostomy, particularly in the beginning when it was new.

He experienced constant leakage and stool draining from multiple holes. This had become a nuisance for Chris. He also developed strictures at the inlet of the J- pouch which then resulted in endless ileoscopies for dilation to prevent obstruction. He had spontaneous bleeding due to the inflamed and ulcerated state of his intestines. There had been instances where Chris would start hemorrhaging a few hours after having a scheduled ileoscopy, causing us to rush to the ER in the middle of the night for an emergency ileoscopy to stop the bleeding. This happened on a couple of different occasions, leading to more hospital admissions and ICU stays for low hemoglobin and low blood pressure.

I started to panic with every procedure, wondering if everything would go routinely or if we would be surprised with unexpected problems.

By this time, we were traveling to Cleveland every 2-3 months for scopes and appointments, which became extremely mentally and physically exhausting for both of us. While I realize I can never begin to understand the excruciating pain Chris was experiencing, I was sort of in my own kind of emotional pain in seeing the person I love the most in this world suffer from such an awful disease. While Chris remained totally collected and level headed with each added layer of dread, I was having a hard time sitting back and watching it all happen, knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do but hold his hand in this never-ending nightmare.

I felt so out of control. Being a patient is tough, and being a caregiver is tough- both in very different ways. Luckily, our bond as a couple was already very strong, and we became more solid with each piece of bad news. It had gotten to the point where we would almost laugh about things, because what else was there to do? If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry, and we could not start that.

Something we were blessed with (other than our awesome marriage and a side of humor) was the love of an extremely supportive family. It was very difficult to navigate Chris’s condition as it was, but we had also been going through this while starting a family of our own and both working full time. Not to mention Chris was working a manual labor job while enduring all this misery.. can you imagine? My parents, brother, and sister-in-law stepped in to take care of us, our two small kids, and two pups whenever we needed them. They were available at a moment’s notice whether it was to watch our kids while we were in Cleveland or to help with things around the house that we just physically couldn’t get around to doing. It truly took a village to make sure everything and everyone was cared for, and we can’t even begin to express the love and appreciation we have for them. They always showed up, and having that safety net of support was so valuable, especially during that time in our lives.

Since Chris had tried and failed countless conservative treatments over the course of several years, it was then recommended he have surgery for a diverting ileostomy so that his J-pouch and fistulas could have a chance to rest and heal. Chris was not exactly thrilled with the thought of having an ileostomy, but he had run out of treatment options without any promising new therapies on the horizon. Knowing that an ileostomy was going to be a potential end result based on previous discussions with his care team, Chris was able to process his thoughts and emotions surrounding the upcoming surgery. Honestly, I think having the time to mentally prepare for such a surgery was a huge benefit in how we were all able to cope moving forward.

He had the surgery for a diverting ileostomy in January of 2020, just before the pandemic. We had hoped that he would improve with this surgical intervention, but his fistulas continued throughout that following year. He also developed a pyoderma, which is a large and painful ulcer, on his abdomen right beside his new stoma. As a result of this and the relentless fistulas and strictures, his doctors recommended he have another surgery, a major surgery, to hopefully improve his quality of life. So, one year after receiving his diverting ileostomy, Chris had an abdominoperineal resection (APR) operation. In this long, 8 hour surgery, he had his J-pouch, anus, and perianal fistulas removed. This surgery also meant that his ileostomy would be permanent without the option of ever reversing it. It would be a part of him for the rest of his life.

Our focus is on making something positive out of something that could easily seem like a burden or embarrassment.

It has now been 3 years since his APR surgery and permanent ileostomy, and Chris is healthier than ever (Shout out to the wonderful surgeons and specialists at Cleveland Clinic! We’re so very thankful for you). While the initial thought of living with an ostomy seemed daunting for Chris and for me, we have come to really appreciate everything it’s done for us. Cleveland visits are now just once a year instead of every 3 months, and Chris is only on one medication for therapeutic management. His ostomy is functioning very well and hasn’t given him any problems. Chris can change his ostomy appliance so quickly that it doesn’t even seem like an inconvenience.

Our kids have also been involved in everything concerning Chris’s ostomy, particularly in the beginning when it was new. They have grown up seeing him do bag changes and have loved helping him get all of his supplies ready, and we welcome their questions with age appropriate answers. They were too young to remember how sick their dad was, but we don’t dwell on that part.

Our focus is on making something positive out of something that could easily seem like a burden or embarrassment. They are now 9 and 6 years old and are not ashamed that their dad wears a bag on his belly. When our daughter was in second grade, she actually took it upon herself to read “Awesome Ollie” to her class so she could educate her friends on what an ostomy is (this is an AMAZING kid friendly book we had used to prepare our kids for Chris’s ostomy surgery).

We were very impressed with her confidence and maturity to be able to share this information with a class full of kids. It was all her idea.

We are so grateful for this ostomy and the freedom it has given us. It’s like we have a new lease on life! Chris’s positive attitude throughout this entire ordeal has been such a blessing as well. He has never let his disease dictate his life, and there is so much to be said about that. Chris will gladly talk about his experiences if it means helping someone that is struggling with a similar situation, but he is not one to draw attention to himself. He never brings up how tough or terrible that part of his past was. He is such a wonderful example for our two kids, and I am proud that they will grow up seeing how great life can be despite difficult and less than optimal situations. Having an ostomy or a spouse with an ostomy is certainly an adjustment, but it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. It really is all in your mindset- just ask Chris! Even though Crohn’s is a disease that will never go away, the ostomy has been a life saver.

This is our new normal, and we are so blessed we get to experience it.

Where Should I Purchase my Ostomy Products?

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Quick Reference Guide for Ordering Supplies and Insurance Reimbursement

• Ostomy supplies are special products and may not be available at your local drugstore.
• Contact your insurance provider to understand what your insurance plan covers and pays for ostomy supplies, and where you can purchase and order supplies (usually through a supplier or retailer).
• Connect with a trusted retail supplier for help understanding your insurance allowables. With your permission, they can even contact your insurance on your behalf.
• Do you need help finding a supplier for your ostomy products? Call the me+ team to learn more about your options (1-800-422-8811).

Still not sure which ostomy products to buy?

With me+™, you never have to figure it out alone.

Navigating and maximizing your health insurance, finding a retailer, and feeling confident in your ostomy supply purchases may feel overwhelming. The me+ support team is available so that you don’t have to figure it out alone.

You have the right to choose the Retail Supplier that best meets YOUR needs.

Convatec works with a group of Preferred Retail Suppliers to provide you with excellent customer service and dependable supply delivery. Our Preferred Retail Suppliers will:

  • Help you manage product orders in line with your insurance
  • Facilitate your insurance billing process to ensure you get the proper reimbursement for Medicare, Medicaid or private insurance
  • Help you select the right products to suit your personal needs
  • Ship your products straight to your home in discreet packaging
  • Send you timely reorder reminders
  • Protect your privacy in accordance with U.S. HIPAA guidelines

To learn more about Preferred Retail Suppliers that work with your insurance, contact our me+ support team at 1-800-422-8811, cic@convatec.com or fill out this form.

My Ostomy Journey App

Fit is so important, especially when it comes to your body and the ostomy products you’re using.

We know that there is no one-size-fits-all product that works for everybody or every stoma. Download the My Ostomy Journey app to discover and sample products to fit your body by answering just a few simple questions. It’s free to download and works on either a phone or tablet. Download now to get started today!

The reimbursement information provided by Convatec is intended to provide general information relevant to coding and reimbursement of Convatec’s products only. Coverage and payment policies for the same insurer can vary from one region to another and may change from time to time because of ongoing changes in government and insurance industry rules and regulations. Therefore, please confirm HCPCS Codes with your local DME-MAC, private insurer, or Medicaid agency before processing claims. Convatec does not guarantee coverage or payment of its products listed herein.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Ostomy Advocate Makes a Splash in Commercial

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Advertising students at BYU put a spotlight on ostomy awareness in creative commercial. 

The students could focus on anything they wanted for a final advertising project at Brigham Young University in Utah, but they knew they wanted it to be meaningful. After spending days thinking about a direction for the project Art Director Jane Reese and Copywriter Nate Nielson made a connection that they both had family members with ostomies. “We didn’t know until we were much older because they were very private about it and it felt like some kind of “secret”. That’s when we came up with the idea of “uncovering” your story,” says Nielson of the ad they conceived with the brand Hanes in mind.

Jane Reese has had eight family members with a colostomy. “A lot of people do not know what they are and we wanted to spread awareness and help do whatever we could,” Reese said during a break in the filming.

“We wanted the ad to highlight the emotion that our family members felt and at the same time illustrate that it’s normal to have medical conditions and no one should feel embarrassed or shamed by them,” Nielson says.

When Nate Hadlock, who is a member of UOAA’s Patient Advisory Board learned about the project he jumped at the opportunity to be involved.

“Ostomies often change a lot about a person’s life and how they view themselves, so seeing a beautiful video like this, along with the overwhelmingly positive response to it, can give ostomates new courage and confidence,” Hadlock believes.

The beautifully produced film project features Hadlock and several other ostomates living life to the fullest. Hadlock is seen in the commercial diving and gliding through the water swimming while wearing a Stealthbelt cover over his ostomy pouch. The image itself is powerful because of the hesitancy some ostomates may experience because of misinformation about swimming with an ostomy.

“I am extremely grateful that I was able to be a part of this project. The actual film day of making the ad was so much fun! The students could not have been more professional or treated me better. It was a special moment in my life! ” Hadlock says.

Hanes-Uncover Your Story from jane reese on Vimeo.

Nielson credits getting Hadlock on board with encouraging other people to be featured in the project. We wanted to show people of all backgrounds, because these conditions, can affect anybody,” Nielson says.

A voiceover of the Maya Angelou Poem ‘One Human Family’ is featured in the ad and reminds us that we are “more alike than we are unalike.”

“Though we all have different marks, scars, and stories, underneath we are all human. Everyone deserves to be proud of who they are,” Reese said of the project on a post on LinkedIn.

Hadlock feels that the message of the ad itself and the project as a whole can really help with ostomy awareness. “Ostomates need to see that they belong in this world as much as anyone else. If I had seen this ad 14 years ago, when I received my ileostomy, it would have changed my entire outlook on ostomy life and what I was going through,” he says.

In a YouTube video Hadlock shares a special behind-the-scenes look at the filming and more reflections on the project in the context of the often negative portrayals of ostomies on TV and in popular culture.

“Ostomies often change a lot about a person’s life and how they view themselves, so seeing a beautiful video like this, along with the overwhelmingly positive response to it, can give ostomates new courage and confidence,” Hadlock believes.

I have already been contacted by multiple people about how this “ad” has legitimately helped them, or somebody they know! Hopefully, ostomates who see this will realize, even if only a little bit more, that they are beautiful, capable, worthy of love, and definitely not alone.”

Other students who worked on the film came away with a new understanding of the ostomy community.

“I had my eyes opened to a whole other world- a world that so many around me live in daily, but that I had no idea of its existence. I was able to meet amazing people who shared with us their journey with an ostomy. If you are struggling with shame, embarrassment or any other thing because of your ostomy, know this: you are SO strong and you are capable of anything you put your mind to! “ says director Taylor Steadman.

Though the company Hanes was not involved in this project the ad has the look and feel of a full-scale professional production and is a credit to the talents of the student team.

“We wanted the ad to highlight the emotion that our family members felt and at the same time illustrate that it’s normal to have medical conditions and no one should feel embarrassed or shamed by them,” Nielson says.

“I’m very grateful for the opportunity to work on such an important project, and I hope that my cinematic choices made in this commercial helped capture the experiences and feelings of these incredible individuals,” said Spencer Nelson, Director of Photography.

Hadlock feels that helping with this project was a chance to do something uniquely meaningful. “I spent decades not wanting to ask for help or talk about the medical side of my life with anyone. However, becoming more active in this community has taught me so much and truly changed my life. I have also seen the tangible and intangible ways that my own advocacy can help others.”

That’s why I’m grateful to be involved in advocacy efforts with UOAA and why I plan to be a part of many more projects like this video in the future,” says Hadlock.

How to Stay Hydrated from a Marathoner with an Ostomy

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Ileostomate and athlete Collin Jarvis shares his recommendations for staying hydrated when you’re physically active. 

My name is Collin and I had ileostomy surgery in 2014 when I was on the Cross Country and Track & Field teams at the University of California – Berkeley. Staying hydrated was always an important aspect of my athletic performance, but after I had surgery, it became even more critical for me to drink enough fluids. Why? Because having an ileostomy can meaningfully reduce the body’s ability to get hydrated.1,2

Over the last decade I have continued to compete as an endurance athlete. Below are my top three tips for new ostomates looking to stay on top of their hydration:

Tip #1 – Make sure you are getting enough hydrating fluid throughout the day 

It can be challenging to keep up with fluid intake, especially when living with an ileostomy.3 I know this from personal experience!

Start by talking to your clinician about how much fluid you need on a daily basis. They will be able to point you to the best resources for your specific needs. General guidance is available online, but every body is unique. Keep in mind that the resources you come across online are going to be calculating fluid needs for a person who has all of their internal organs. So once you identify that baseline, ask your doctor if you need to increase your fluid intake above that level. In my case (i.e., as someone who is extremely active and has had their entire large intestine removed), I take in about 20% more fluids than what the average online calculator recommends.

Tip #2 – Be aware of when and how you are taking in your fluids 

Make sure to spread out the volume of liquid that you’re drinking as evenly as possible. In other words, take small and frequent sips throughout the entire day. This is important because our bodies are not perfectly efficient at absorbing the fluids that we put into them.

For example, you may have determined that you need around 100 ounces of liquids each day to meet your hydration needs. However, if you were to wake up in the morning and drink all 100 ounces right away, you would end up urinating most of that water out. In addition, drinking too much water at one time can dilute your body of the electrolytes it needs to properly absorb water which can exacerbate dehydration. Spreading out your fluid consumption evenly throughout the day is going to allow your body to work most effectively.

Keep reading on Hollister.com.

Hollister Incorporated is a proud sponsor of United Ostomy Associations of America and dedicated to delivering the highest standard of quality in ostomy care products. To learn more, visit www.hollister.com/ostomycare or call 1.888.808.7456.

 

References:
1. Justiniano, Carla F et al. “Readmissions With Dehydration After Ileostomy Creation: Rethinking Risk Factors.” Diseases of the colon and rectum vol. 61,11 (2018): 1297-1305.
2. Chen, Sophia Y et al. “Predicting the Risk of Readmission From Dehydration After Ileostomy Formation: The Dehydration Readmission After Ileostomy Prediction Score.” Diseases of the colon and rectum vol. 61,12 (2018): 1410-1417.
3. Absorption of Water and Electrolytes (colostate.edu) – http://www.vivo.colostate.edu/hbooks/pathphys/digestion/smallgut/absorb_water.html

 

Collin received compensation from Hollister Incorporated for his contribution to this article. The testimonials, statements, and opinions presented are applicable to the people depicted. These testimonials are representative of their experience, but the exact results and experience will be unique and individual to each person. Please make sure to consult with your healthcare professional for further guidance and instruction. The information provided herein is not medical advice and is not intended to substitute for the advice of your personal physician or other healthcare provider. 

Steve Hubbard’s Ostomy and Crohn’s Story

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I’m 75 years old and this is my 56th year of living with Crohn’s disease and an ileostomy.

I first started getting sick at 18 years old in 1967 right after graduating from high school. I was starting to get weak all the time, losing weight, couldn’t eat without getting sick and there was blood in my stool. My parents took me to the University of Stanford Medical Center.

The doctors there weren’t sure what was causing me to be so sick. I was down to around 65 lbs and so weak. They thought it was ulcerative colitis and they began treating it as such. When I wasn’t improving they called in a Colitis and Crohn’s specialist that was visiting the hospital from Germany. He diagnosed it as Crohn’s disease and started treatment right away by injecting a lot of steroids into me to help me gain the weight I needed for the first operation. Because I was so young they tried removing small sections of my colon at a time hoping they wouldn’t have to fit me with an ostomy.

The flange was made was solid rubber and it came with see-through plastic bags. The ostomy equipment nowadays is truly a godsend.

(Steve with his two daughters at his grandson’s wedding)

I had to stay in the hospital for around three months after each operation but after four major surgeries within two years time, I was finally fitted with my ostomy. After receiving my ostomy I was devastated because I was an athlete in school and didn’t know if I’d be ok to play sports or other things I loved to do again.

In the sixties having an ostomy was something kind of new and the only ostomy equipment we could find required a drive that was over two hours away. The flange was made was solid rubber and it came with see-through plastic bags. The ostomy equipment nowadays is truly a godsend.

By 1970, I had recuperated enough to get married. In 1972 we moved to San Diego after my first child was born. Then in 1973, I began to get very,very sick. With input from the WOCN specialist, they realized that they had to reconstruct and move my ileostomy to a different location on my lower belly.

After I woke up from the operation there was a priest next to my bed. He told me that he was giving me my Last Rites because I had passed away during the operation.

My mission has always been to never give up on anything and not use my ostomy as an excuse.

I recuperated and then my second child was born in 1974. After everything that I’ve lived through, here I am at 75 with two kids, two grandkids and two great-grandkids.

I played so many different sports with my ostomy including water skiing, kayaking and tennis. My mission has always been to never give up on anything and not use my ostomy as an excuse.

I hope this inspires people with an ostomy to never give up so you too can live a full life. I have no regrets. Ostomies are life-savers.

Do you speak stoma?

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A New Guide aims to help you find the right words to talk about your ostomy

By Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA

The Speaking Stoma Guide is the first health communication guide for people with ostomies. This work was coproduced through collaboration with ostomates worldwide, UOAA, clinical experts, and health communication experts. This guide is freely available here on UOAA’s website, encompassing 11 communication topics areas including managing pouch leaks, communicating with friends and family, and intimacy.

This work has been inspired by our experience working with ostomates. We recognize that talking about your ostomy will not always be easy. We created the Speaking Stoma Guide to help. We hope this guide gives you an idea of things you could say if you are ever in similar situations and ways to manage challenging social situations that may arise. Each section has a big topic and has different situations that you may experience. In the next section, we will provide a snapshot of situations inspired by real people with ostomies.

Leaks
In this section, we have suggestions for what you might say to help manage the situation based on how much you want to disclose about having an ostomy. These phrases were produced directly from things ostomates told us. For people who did not want to disclose anything about having an ostomy (low disclosure), a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the bathroom?” For high disclosure, a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the restroom? My ostomy pouch has leaked and I need to clean up. Would you be able to find me an extra set of clothes? I really appreciate it!” Each section has several suggestions like this.

Talking About Food
With an ostomy, some people have limitations on the food that they can eat. Some ostomates expressed embarrassment when they couldn’t eat the same food everyone else is eating. It’s hard to say “no” whenever someone offers you food. One participant noted that he once told a host on behalf of his wife: “Please don’t take offense. She doesn’t eat these things. It’s not your cooking.” For higher disclosure, a person may say “Thank you so much for inviting me. After my surgery I’m still figuring out the foods that make me feel best, so I ate before I came. Everything looks delicious!” In general, there are many people with and without ostomies that have dietary restrictions.

Public Restrooms
What do you do when you need to use a public restroom to care for your ostomy and there is a long line! For low disclosure, you may consider saying: “Excuse me, I have an emergency and need to get to a restroom right now.” This does not reveal anything to strangers except the urgent need. For higher disclosure, you may reveal the presence of your ostomy and the rapid need for its care. People in line can be helpful too. One of our participants recalls how a stranger helped her get to the front of the line during a pouch leak.

Talking to Friends and Family
Time with friends and family are vital to everyone. How do you address having an ostomy with them? Some of our participants suggested having a “code name” for the ostomy that they can use with their family and friends to talk it in public. Unfortunately, some people have disparaging comments or jokes about ostomies once they know about it. Some ostomates use humor back to deflect the situation. It is also ok to say: “I am not really comfortable joking about my ostomy like that, but I am glad you will be willing to help if I need it. I really appreciate it.”

Noises
Noises happen! People with ostomies have no control of when they happen. In the beginning, our participants noted that they felt awkward about the noises their ostomies made. It helped people to remember that no one knows that the noises came from the ostomy. It is ok to say nothing (low disclosure). It is also ok to say: “Excuse me, I have an ostomy pouch and sometimes it makes noises” (medium disclosure).

Sex and Intimacy
Some people are not sure when or how to tell a romantic partner about their ostomy. There is no right or wrong time. Some people may choose to tell someone immediately, while other people might wait to tell the person until they know the person better. Your comfort is what is most important. We have suggestions and real-life testimonies in the guide related to speaking about sex and intimacy while having an ostomy.

Talking to Clinicians
We also go through ways to manage different levels of challenging social situations or what we term as “difficulty.” For example, you are in a clinical visit with a new physician who is not familiar with ostomies. Our participants universally encountered this situation. They noted that they often are the most knowledgeable person about ostomies in a clinical visit. In the guide we provide some easy to remember suggestions about how to manage this situation and others.

What’s Next?
We are scientists and this work does not end here. We are actively working to obtain funding to test this guide to see if it makes a difference for people with ostomies. We have also translated the guide into Spanish and are pilot testing it with people who prefer to speak in Spanish. Our experiences with major grant organizations, however, has been underwhelming to say the least. Some reviewers talk about “osteotomies” (surgically created bone holes) instead of ostomies demonstrating their complete lack of basic understanding. Other reviewers assumed that existing information already contained a wealth of communication-related information for ostomates. Despite these, we are undeterred and will keep pushing forward for funding. We would appreciate any support for this work from anyone including the ostomy community, ostomy pouch manufacturers, and local/state health agencies to keep the momentum going! We would also appreciate your feedback on the Speaking Stoma Guide. Please feel free to email me at jivatury@austin.utexas.edu.

Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA, is an associate professor of surgery Dell Medical School and the inaugural chief of colon and rectal surgery at UT Health Austin. The Speaking Stoma Project was funded through the Communication for Health, Empathy, and Resilience Grant Program and created in partnership with Dell Medical School and the Center for Health Communication at The University of Texas at Austin.

Why Larry David’s “Colostomy Bag” Curb episode is making me speak out about my ostomy after 48 years

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By Robin Bergstein Berman

The latest episode of Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm was called “The Colostomy Bag” and during an attempt to be humorous, his usually (awkward and despicable character) made disparaging comments relating to ostomates. At least it opened up room for discussion… It’s the first time that I posted on my Facebook page about my one-and-done Ileostomy surgery 48 years ago and I received nothing but words of support. I shared below why I found the episode harmful:

“Being an ostomate does not define me.” Says Robin, 63, and has had her ileostomy for 48 years, finding health and a full life after ulcerative colitis.

This is too important not to address so I’m about to “out” myself for those who do not know. Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that aired tonight was called “The Colostomy Bag” and it was harmful for a few reasons. I’m able to laugh at myself but this was not funny mostly because it passed along inaccurate information and promoted public stigmas that could cost lives. Those who desperately need a life-saving surgery (for bowel diseases, cancers and more), often put it off far too long due to inaccurate public opinion including that of too many doctors.

There were three primary comments that were said, I want to address about the episode while giving only a glimpse of my journey. First of all, not all who have an ostomy have a colostomy and therefore do not wear ”Colostomy Bags”. Larry kept saying colostomy as if it encompassed all ostomies… it doesn’t.

Secondly, having an ostomy is not the worst thing that anyone could possibly have. He made it sound as if it is. It’s life-saving and has given me personally 48 more years of life to date that I wouldn’t have had without the complete colectomy/Ileostomy I was given in a nine hour surgery in 1975. I would not be here without it since I was bleeding to death and not able to recover after given the maximum doses of steroids for an extended period of time. Polyps, the breeding grounds for cancer cells were present and multiple were seen when my entire colon and rectum were removed at 15 years old. The pain I endured prior to surgery was unfathomable and I won’t here expand on all of what I experienced. I had the most severe chronic ulcerative colitis, spending weeks and months at a time in the hospital from 11 to 15 years old.

Robin with her two, now adult sons, whom she carried to term and had by emergency c-section after her ileostomy surgery.

Back to the episode; there is no such thing as a “shit in the bag look” for anyone thinking there is, like Larry. It was only slightly humorous in the context, but for someone facing this surgery and not knowing, there is no facial indications that we wear an appliance/pouch/bag. Now when he felt guilty about his comment to the car salesmen and wondered if he could gift a Louie Vitton Illeostomy Bag, that I’d like !!!…lol THIS was funny when Larry brought it up.

While they did say the car smelled like smoking, they alluded to it smelling like the man’s ostomy bag which is also not a “thing”. Popular public thinking is that ostomates smell, are unattractive, unappealing, not sexy or sexual and should be pitied. This too is not true. Within months after my surgery, I was at the beach away with my friend and her family, continued my relationship with my first boyfriend and went onto have others, didn’t miss a beat with school and countless other activities which were extensive and then went onto college away two years after my surgery. I’ve lived a full, active, useful life, carried both of our sons to term, working primarily but not exclusively in fragrance and cosmetics and certainly do not smell bad being told my entire life that I smell good (lol). In fact the first thing that attracted my husband to me was how I smelled at a bar after fragrance modeling all day.

I wear almost everything I want with some exceptions and am fashionable according to most. I’ve heard from too many that someone would rather be dead than to wear an ostomy bag. It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard all caused by antiquated public opinion that is not valid and what this last episode of Larry David continues to promote.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner.

Without fail when TV, even medical dramas, present ostomy surgery and the wearing of an appliance, they present it unfairly, wrong and impose additional stigmas. Don’t misinterpret me since adjusting to it sucks and there are challenges but it’s totally doable and makes a person no less the person they were in any way other than making them hopefully healthier.

If any one of you are facing this now or in the future, I am more than willing to help you or anyone you care about, to get through and adjust by listening, empathizing and giving you the tips and tricks I learned from a lifetime, 48 years, through all stages and phases of life.

Robin and her husband of 34 years.

It’s so much easier to find info today with social media than when I learned to adjust on my own without an ostomy, now a community is a click of a phone away and with laser surgery lessening the more invasive total cutting my body went through.

I was triggered tonight by the episode knowing how people are discouraged by doctors and the public’s misconceptions, I just had to address it not for me but for others. Ostomates are all ages and sexes and all walks of life including some professional athletes. Please let me know if you have any questions but mostly if you or a loved one are facing this life saving surgery, I’d be glad to help.If anyone would like to share my post, I’ll be glad to make it shareable by allowing public access. Let me know.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner. I help where I can in the support groups and over 48 years ago tried forming a youth group here in Pittsburgh for ostomates, spoke to auditoriums full of high schoolers at various schools trying to discuss differences and acceptance for all and was always received well.  I went on a local talk show regarding my surgery back in 1975. Being an ostomate does not define me so I spend little time discussing it unless I can be of help or it’s in a relevant conversation, which it is this week!

Editors note: The humor of the Larry character in Curb Your Enthusiasm is often built around his selfish and ignorant views. In past episodes with characters who are disabled or have a disease, those characters are usually used to help magnify his faults. This episode did not include an ostomate character just the perception of what one would be like and what life would be like with one. The opportunity for awareness, such as what Michael J Fox brought to Parkinson’s in his past episodes, was missed. 

Want to get a more positive ostomy awareness message on TV and social media? Share UOAA’s Ostomy Public Service Announcement.

 

Osmani Gonzalez’s Story

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Surviving colorectal cancer, reversal complications, and living with faith & perseverance

In June 2018, Osmani Gonzalez began a new exercise program to help him lose weight and kickstart a healthier lifestyle. Two months into his new routine, the then 42-year-old began to experience abdominal pain. Gonzalez assumed it was due to his workouts, but the pain foreshadowed a much more severe issue.

His discomfort only worsened over time, and in August 2018, Gonzalez, who was born in Havana, Cuba, and raised in Hialeah, Florida, was rushed to a nearby hospital with a swollen abdomen.

To alleviate his pain and to clear an obstruction in his colon, he underwent surgery for an ileostomy. During this procedure, surgeons build an opening in the abdominal wall by bringing the end of the small intestine out onto the surface of the skin, creating an opening for his intestinal waste to pass through into an ostomy bag attached to his abdomen. Unfortunately, the news that came after his procedure was not favorable – Gonzalez was diagnosed with Stage 2 colon cancer.

He cried along with his wife of 23 years Aleida, and despite not knowing what they were getting into remembers them saying, “We are going to fight it, good or bad we will try our best.”

Gonzalez thinks patients should also find time to have empathy for others. “It’s so important to understand the caregiver and ask how they are doing and to never forget that they are going through similar things,” Gonzalez says. He received 12 sessions of chemotherapy for six months. While in the hospital for treatment during the Christmas Holiday Gonzalez, who is an advocate and speaker for father engagement in K through 12 education and active in several area PTA’s where he raised two children, had an idea to bring some cheer to fellow patients by having local children draw cards of support to his fellow patients.

Gonzalez’s cancer went into remission and was told he no longer needed the ostomy.

In February 2019, Gonzalez underwent reversal surgery. However, three days after the procedure, he woke up in horrible pain, and a CT scan revealed there was a leak in his intestine and his staples had come undone. After the blood system was contaminated, Gonzalez was diagnosed with sepsis shock and had to undergo another surgery to have an ileostomy again. Afterward, Mr. Gonzalez was put in a medically induced coma for 18 days.

“At that point, my wife was given very little hope and was told just to pray and prepare for the worst,” Gonzalez said.

When he woke up from the coma, he began occupational and physical therapies and was on an IV drip to help alleviate his constant dehydration. Gonzalez learned to walk and perform basic physical activities. He used a wheelchair for more than three months while he recovered.

Even with the support he was receiving, Gonzalez’s kidneys began to fail. During one of his many trips to the ER, a gastroenterologist suspected he was suffering from short bowel syndrome, a condition in which your body is unable to absorb enough nutrients from the foods you eat because you do not have enough intestine.

“We all have downs and need motivation. Whatever it is you grab onto, you have to have a why and decide to live.”

Gonzalez was rushed to the Hospital’s emergency department and referred to a well-known trauma surgeon and surgical critical care specialist. “He came weighing 176 pounds, and in six months, he kept losing even more weight,” Gonzales recalls the doctor saying. “We only had 125 centimeters of small intestine to stabilize him.”

For Gonzalez to get better, the Doctor placed him on Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN) so his body could receive the nutrition needed to strengthen his intestines. Over the next two years, Gonzalez continued receiving TPN and seeing the Doctor biweekly, undergoing continuous lab work to monitor his progress.

Despite frequent challenges with ostomy leaks and TPN he would go out fishing and continued to push himself to do things he loved. He remembers one time after a shower attempting to stop an active stoma with his hand and making quite a mess, “My wife just said it’s better laughing than crying,” he recalls with a smile.

On June 25, 2021, he was taken off the TPN and underwent a successful reversal surgery to repair his intestines, clean up scar tissue, and remove the stoma.

On July 9, he went home with a feeding tube and by September 13, he was on a regular and independent diet. His doctor told him, “He’s been one of the most optimistic patients I have ever cared for.”

While going through this medical journey, Gonzalez had to reduce his workflow with his construction company to focus on his health. Mr. Gonzalez is currently enrolled in a program slowly allowing him to join the workforce again. He has been working in construction management and is gradually entering a more active lifestyle.

“I look at life differently now. My focus is improving daily and being more involved in my kids’ lives,” Gonzalez said. “I’m extremely grateful to the Doctor and my care team at the hospital for performing this miracle.”

Gonzalez has expressed what a blessing it has been to have met Lynn Wolfson of the South Florida Ostomy and Tube Feeding/HPN Support Group, which provides support and comfort to other ostomy patients and guides patients through their journey of living with these conditions.

Gonzalez recently had the chance to share his story with the group and UOAA followers around the country on a Zoom presentation. He stressed the mental aspects of recovery and looking beyond day-to-day challenges.

“Keep pushing and do what you love, sometimes even when you don’t want to do something, once you start the process your feelings change,” Gonzalez says. “We all have downs and need motivation. Whatever it is you grab onto, you have to have a why and decide to live.”

Sexual well-being and intimacy after ostomy surgery

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After ostomy surgery, it’s natural to feel sensitive about how your body has changed and be concerned about how it might affect intimacy and your sex life in the future.

Wherever you are in your journey, your sexual well-being is an important part of who you are.

  • Sexual well-being is an important part of everyone’s life, regardless of whether you are in a committed relationship, enjoying or thinking about dating, not sexually active, or unpartnered.1 
  • It covers many areas including body image and self-esteem, sexual function, reproductive health, emotional and physical satisfaction, and can impact both your physical and mental well-being. 1, 2
  • Pleasurable, fulfilling and fun sexual and intimate experiences are not out of bounds because you’ve had ostomy surgery. And no matter what your relationship status, age, gender or sexuality, starting the conversation about sex is just as important as the discussions around diet, exercise, skin issues and generally living with your ostomy.

Here are some topics you can explore in more detail in A Guide to Intimacy after Ostomy Surgery:

  • If you’re not ready, don’t rush. For some, intimacy will be one of the most important aspects of life they want to resume post-surgery, and for others, it might be the last thing on their minds.
  • When you are ready….Communication is the key when it comes to intimacy. Make time to talk to your partner.
  • Enjoying intimacy with an ostomy is anything but boring! Refer to the Guide for tips to increase your, and your partner’s, enjoyment.
  • Sexual orientation: Whatever your gender identity and sexual orientation, there are so many different ways of expressing and enjoying intimate moments including holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling and lots more.
  • Common issues that can affect everyone. The most common issues reported to us from people following ostomy surgery are feeling they must resume intimate relationships straightaway, and a fear of disappointing their partner.1 Two very common conditions that can affect sexual intimacy – vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction – can be experienced by men and women at all stages of life, and whether they have an ostomy or not.
  • Pregnancy with an ostomy: Many women with an ostomy worry that pregnancy will be an issue after surgery, but in the vast majority of cases, it shouldn’t be. Most women are able to enjoy a very typical experience.

For more information, download A Guide to Intimacy after Ostomy Surgery

  1. References: 1. A Cross-National Study of Subjective Sexual Well-Being Among Older Women and Men: Findings From the Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Publication Title: Springer. Publication Date: 4/2006 . Author: Laumann, Edward; Paik, Anthony; Glasser, Dale; Kang, Jeong-Han; Wang, Tianfu; Levinson, Bernard; Moreira, Edson; Nicolosi, Alfredo; Gingell, Clive. 2. What is sexual well-being and why does it matter for public health? Kirstin R Mitchell, Ruth Lewis, Lucia F O’Sullivan, J Dennis Fortenberry. Lancet Public Health 2021; 6: e608–13. Published Online. June 21, 2021. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2468-2667(21)00099-2.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Dressing to Feel Good

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By Lynn Wolfson

It is amazing what a boost one can get from dressing to feel and look good, especially those of us with ostomies. I know that when my hair is cut into an easy style that I can maintain, my nails are done and my clothes fit, I feel beautiful. When I feel beautiful, I am happy and share it with the world.

As an ostomy support group leader, I often hear from new ostomates struggling with what to wear after surgery. Many people may have their own style and should explore options to keep wearing the clothing they love. Too many others seem to lose confidence and motivation to dress in the more presentable ways they once did. Overall, I stress to dress so that you feel confident, comfortable, and good about yourself.

So, let us start with the pants. Depending on where the ostomy is located, this will determine whether one would be comfortable with zipper and button pants such as jeans. For me, I find that too restrictive, especially since I have two ostomies. Instead, I prefer either maternity pants, so I have belly room and my legs are not baggy or high elastic-waisted pants. I buy a variety of solid colors of the pants that I find most comfortable.

Unfortunately, men do not have the same choices as women. They should find a brand of pants that are comfortable for them and get them in an array of colors. Stretchable waists can be found on various pants and shorts designs, so don’t feel like you have to resort to athletic wear if you don’t want to.

The tops for women are fun to shop.  I usually get a loose shirt or blouse that goes over the pants. I get multiple tops for each pair of pants so I can mix and match.

Men may still have to tuck their shirts in for business. However casually, they can wear a shirt outside their pants or shorts.

It helps to be beautiful on the outside, especially when I am not physically feeling great.

Since I live in Florida, I only wear pants when it is chilly or when I travel to colder climates.  Personally, I prefer wearing dresses that do not have a waist.  I find them very comfortable and cooler in our hot climate. However, these dresses are not appropriate for business. I do have more tailored dresses without a waistline to wear for business occasions. I generally prefer wearing dresses just below the knee as one of my ostomy bags hangs low.

Shoes should be comfortable. Wear sneakers whenever possible if that’s what you want to do. In Florida, I wear sandals with rubber soles. Up north, boots are a necessity.

Lastly, I get my hair colored and shaped once every six weeks to keep it looking fresh and easy for me to maintain. I also get my nails done every three weeks.

It helps to be beautiful on the outside, especially when I am not physically feeling great. It helps me to get myself going and not have that get back into bed feeling. It is all a matter of attitude!  When I dress for success, I feel good about myself and am successful in getting things done.