Embracing Life After Surgery 

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Before cancer came into my life, I was a very social person. My various professional ventures along with the diverse group of friends kept me on the go. Even though I dealt with anxiety it was mild enough that I was still a social butterfly.  

I was diagnosed with anal cancer on May 5, 2015, that’s Cinco de Mayo. We had the day planned, going to the groceries for Taco & Nacho Day. Watch mindless shows and spend the day together.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world.

We were three years into our relationship, and this was not on our Bingo card of relationships… Or was it? That whole summer was spent in bed or on the couch sleeping. I couldn’t stand a lot of smells or people- so not much socializing.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world. You are dependent on them for food, medical needs, and conversation. Chrisitan, my boyfriend, was all that and more. He was also my punching bag and took all my frustration and honestly, I don’t know where he put that energy.

It made our relationship stronger; it tested the relationship and us. He also helped me get back into the real world easier although it takes the caregiver longer to step out of his role. I don’t know if they ever leave completely.  

It took almost six months to decide or be convinced for the ostomy surgery. I had done hyperbaric chamber treatment, and we were hoping things would heal. We expected a miracle. My sphincter would not grow back.  

Diapers were not very convenient for work. I traveled quite a bit and changing on the go was a pain in the butt. Those changing tables in the bathroom don’t hold an adult! I finally picked a date for the surgery.  

My surgery was scheduled for April 1, 2016. If that date sounds familiar it’s because it’s April Fool’s Day. Yes, my surgery was a joke, and I wasn’t laughing. I didn’t have a mentor, buddy or a nurse to tell me what to do. My brain was in constant conflict between I don’t want anyone to see me, and I need to get back out in front of people. I wanted to act, public speak, or at best go shopping and try on clothes.

Go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

When I first started to go out in public, I would use surgical tape and bind my bag down. I was sure that if I taped it hard enough it would go away. I felt so self-conscious that I would wear shirts one size larger.

Then one day, in a support group, I heard about wraps. I had to look up this miracle device that would give me back my manly figure. As if they were security secrets that you had to find through a scavenger hunt.

I felt confident, strong, and back to me… Kinda. I felt like a piggy bank and that everyone was looking at my belly. Finally, Tommy the Ostomy and I had worked out the kinks, made peace, and became frenemies… Kinda.

Eight years later I am out more, I travel more, and still panic a bit. Tommy still manages to surprise me from time to time. Almost every day I put on my belly-bra to keep things tight and snug, and I watch my weight so things don’t pop out.

I still get panic attacks, I still think everyone is looking at me, and I still think I’ll wake up and It’ll be gone. Except I have more self-esteem, I share my story, and I look great in a tight shirt and jeans!

If I could share any words of wisdom if a new ostomate it would be go hunting online for patient stories and trusted information like this website. Find a support group and ask as many questions as pop in your head. Some things you’ll learn on your own but we’re here to help.

Another thing, go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

JoAnna’s Story: Coming Out of The Shadows

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For as long as I can remember, I have found myself fitting in amongst groups of people who don’t stereotypically “fit in.” I recognized early on that because I had an absent lifestyle, consisting of traveling hours away to cities with hospitals and specialists unavailable to me in western Kentucky, it gave me the freedom to be invisible.

I was born on a crisp, autumn Friday in September 1991. My mom’s earliest indication something wasn’t right was a large bruise that developed on my lower back, days after I was born. However, her concern was met instead with my pediatrician looking into her eyes and saying, “Some babies are just born special!” Special comes in many forms. For me, that included a mature, type 4 Sacrococcyxgeal Teratoma. This just means I had a slow-growing tumor that wreaked havoc on the organs surrounding the sacrum and coccyx and went undiagnosed because no one could see it.

In a world where it is easy to stay isolated and afraid of connection, I have found some of my closest companions were waiting for the same opportunity; hiding away behind their shields of invisibility.

A steady decline in my ability to hold my bowel and bladder, beginning well after potty training, was the next signal that I had something going on. However, it was not until I was seven when the tumor abscessed, that my childhood was shifted into a very real, life-long game of “Operation.” During my third Teratoma resection at the age of 14, my new colorectal surgeon advised that a temporary ileostomy would be needed to allow everything time to heal. Fortunately, the surgery was in May so I had the summer months to hide away as I wanted to.

JoAnna with her best friend Caleb whom she met at Youth Rally at is a natural companion whether attending a UOAA National Conference or a Pride Celebration.

I started my sophomore year of high school with the ileostomy, and having only had it two months at the time with little self-management, I resorted to staying home from school most days for the remaining two months until it was reversed. I found a bit more normalcy in my teen years, discovering friends with similar interests and personalities and things in their own lives making them special to distract from my ability to fade in and out of view.

A few years later, just before my 18th birthday, I left home to attend college in Tennessee. It was a new world and I could be anyone I choose. For the first time, I wanted to be fully present in every moment and not miss a thing. In reality, I spent what I remember feeling like almost all of my first semester of college writing papers while sitting on the toilet of a shared dorm suite. Through discussion with my surgeon and with the understanding that I didn’t want to hide away anymore, I decided it was time for a permanent colostomy in 2009. Not only did this decision provide the opportunity to be present and live life to the fullest but also allowed for new purpose and adventures, all on its own.

It was in 2011, attending my first year as a Counselor In Training at Youth Rally, which is THE camp for young people with bladder and bowel dysfunctions here in the US, that I was included with a group of counselors and campers affectionately labeled by the members as “The Island of Misfit Toys.” Truthfully, we were just the miscellaneous diagnoses group that didn’t have enough members separately to each have our own. The symbolism of being a misfit toy, that found belonging and purpose in a group of other misfits, has continued throughout almost every social group that I have been a part of.

The beauty of events like Youth Rally, as well as the UOAA Conference, is providing a safe place to build community without fear of judgment for identifying in a way that is taboo or sometimes uncomfortable to discuss. In a world where it is easy to stay isolated and afraid of connection, I have found some of my closest companions were waiting for the same opportunity; hiding away behind their shields of invisibility.

Not only had I grown into a person who wanted to be known and accepted, but more importantly, I wanted to be chosen and loved. I grew up as a girl in the Bible Belt, with the idea that someday I would find a man who would love me and my ostomy, and then everything else in the world would make sense. Intimacy was scarce, considering my body confidence issues, so I resolved to wait. I had faith that my person would come along and I would know when it was right. Just as I had spent other portions of life in the shadows, wishing and waiting for my moment to come, it would probably surprise no one that another place that I had stowed away was inside “the closet.”

Like my experience in the Ostomy community, identifying as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community has provided a safe place to be authentic and explore who I am and want to be as a person and partner. The intersection at which these identities meet has given opportunity to some of the most profound and pivotal moments in my life. It would then also not be surprising that I attended Pride celebrations before and after “coming out” with my best friend, Caleb, whom I met while we were both first-year Counselors in Training at Youth Rally. He is the same friend that I invited to join me at the UOAA Conference as it made its way to my current city, his hometown, this past year. In our truest fashion, I am happy to say we show up loud, proud, and ready to make our place in the world; no matter the occasion.

I work daily to overcome my old habits of hiding away, having to refocus to remember that the life that I have created was done only by my participating fully. On the difficult days when I have trouble seeing for myself, I am blessed with friends and a partner who assist with some needed perspective. I aspire to be the same for every person I meet.

So, in case you are new here; no matter how you identify…

Hi! I am JoAnna and I am glad you are here.

 

Steve Hubbard’s Ostomy and Crohn’s Story

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I’m 75 years old and this is my 56th year of living with Crohn’s disease and an ileostomy.

I first started getting sick at 18 years old in 1967 right after graduating from high school. I was starting to get weak all the time, losing weight, couldn’t eat without getting sick and there was blood in my stool. My parents took me to the University of Stanford Medical Center.

The doctors there weren’t sure what was causing me to be so sick. I was down to around 65 lbs and so weak. They thought it was ulcerative colitis and they began treating it as such. When I wasn’t improving they called in a Colitis and Crohn’s specialist that was visiting the hospital from Germany. He diagnosed it as Crohn’s disease and started treatment right away by injecting a lot of steroids into me to help me gain the weight I needed for the first operation. Because I was so young they tried removing small sections of my colon at a time hoping they wouldn’t have to fit me with an ostomy.

The flange was made was solid rubber and it came with see-through plastic bags. The ostomy equipment nowadays is truly a godsend.

(Steve with his two daughters at his grandson’s wedding)

I had to stay in the hospital for around three months after each operation but after four major surgeries within two years time, I was finally fitted with my ostomy. After receiving my ostomy I was devastated because I was an athlete in school and didn’t know if I’d be ok to play sports or other things I loved to do again.

In the sixties having an ostomy was something kind of new and the only ostomy equipment we could find required a drive that was over two hours away. The flange was made was solid rubber and it came with see-through plastic bags. The ostomy equipment nowadays is truly a godsend.

By 1970, I had recuperated enough to get married. In 1972 we moved to San Diego after my first child was born. Then in 1973, I began to get very,very sick. With input from the WOCN specialist, they realized that they had to reconstruct and move my ileostomy to a different location on my lower belly.

After I woke up from the operation there was a priest next to my bed. He told me that he was giving me my Last Rites because I had passed away during the operation.

My mission has always been to never give up on anything and not use my ostomy as an excuse.

I recuperated and then my second child was born in 1974. After everything that I’ve lived through, here I am at 75 with two kids, two grandkids and two great-grandkids.

I played so many different sports with my ostomy including water skiing, kayaking and tennis. My mission has always been to never give up on anything and not use my ostomy as an excuse.

I hope this inspires people with an ostomy to never give up so you too can live a full life. I have no regrets. Ostomies are life-savers.

Why Larry David’s “Colostomy Bag” Curb episode is making me speak out about my ostomy after 48 years

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By Robin Bergstein Berman

The latest episode of Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm was called “The Colostomy Bag” and during an attempt to be humorous, his usually (awkward and despicable character) made disparaging comments relating to ostomates. At least it opened up room for discussion… It’s the first time that I posted on my Facebook page about my one-and-done Ileostomy surgery 48 years ago and I received nothing but words of support. I shared below why I found the episode harmful:

“Being an ostomate does not define me.” Says Robin, 63, and has had her ileostomy for 48 years, finding health and a full life after ulcerative colitis.

This is too important not to address so I’m about to “out” myself for those who do not know. Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that aired tonight was called “The Colostomy Bag” and it was harmful for a few reasons. I’m able to laugh at myself but this was not funny mostly because it passed along inaccurate information and promoted public stigmas that could cost lives. Those who desperately need a life-saving surgery (for bowel diseases, cancers and more), often put it off far too long due to inaccurate public opinion including that of too many doctors.

There were three primary comments that were said, I want to address about the episode while giving only a glimpse of my journey. First of all, not all who have an ostomy have a colostomy and therefore do not wear ”Colostomy Bags”. Larry kept saying colostomy as if it encompassed all ostomies… it doesn’t.

Secondly, having an ostomy is not the worst thing that anyone could possibly have. He made it sound as if it is. It’s life-saving and has given me personally 48 more years of life to date that I wouldn’t have had without the complete colectomy/Ileostomy I was given in a nine hour surgery in 1975. I would not be here without it since I was bleeding to death and not able to recover after given the maximum doses of steroids for an extended period of time. Polyps, the breeding grounds for cancer cells were present and multiple were seen when my entire colon and rectum were removed at 15 years old. The pain I endured prior to surgery was unfathomable and I won’t here expand on all of what I experienced. I had the most severe chronic ulcerative colitis, spending weeks and months at a time in the hospital from 11 to 15 years old.

Robin with her two, now adult sons, whom she carried to term and had by emergency c-section after her ileostomy surgery.

Back to the episode; there is no such thing as a “shit in the bag look” for anyone thinking there is, like Larry. It was only slightly humorous in the context, but for someone facing this surgery and not knowing, there is no facial indications that we wear an appliance/pouch/bag. Now when he felt guilty about his comment to the car salesmen and wondered if he could gift a Louie Vitton Illeostomy Bag, that I’d like !!!…lol THIS was funny when Larry brought it up.

While they did say the car smelled like smoking, they alluded to it smelling like the man’s ostomy bag which is also not a “thing”. Popular public thinking is that ostomates smell, are unattractive, unappealing, not sexy or sexual and should be pitied. This too is not true. Within months after my surgery, I was at the beach away with my friend and her family, continued my relationship with my first boyfriend and went onto have others, didn’t miss a beat with school and countless other activities which were extensive and then went onto college away two years after my surgery. I’ve lived a full, active, useful life, carried both of our sons to term, working primarily but not exclusively in fragrance and cosmetics and certainly do not smell bad being told my entire life that I smell good (lol). In fact the first thing that attracted my husband to me was how I smelled at a bar after fragrance modeling all day.

I wear almost everything I want with some exceptions and am fashionable according to most. I’ve heard from too many that someone would rather be dead than to wear an ostomy bag. It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard all caused by antiquated public opinion that is not valid and what this last episode of Larry David continues to promote.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner.

Without fail when TV, even medical dramas, present ostomy surgery and the wearing of an appliance, they present it unfairly, wrong and impose additional stigmas. Don’t misinterpret me since adjusting to it sucks and there are challenges but it’s totally doable and makes a person no less the person they were in any way other than making them hopefully healthier.

If any one of you are facing this now or in the future, I am more than willing to help you or anyone you care about, to get through and adjust by listening, empathizing and giving you the tips and tricks I learned from a lifetime, 48 years, through all stages and phases of life.

Robin and her husband of 34 years.

It’s so much easier to find info today with social media than when I learned to adjust on my own without an ostomy, now a community is a click of a phone away and with laser surgery lessening the more invasive total cutting my body went through.

I was triggered tonight by the episode knowing how people are discouraged by doctors and the public’s misconceptions, I just had to address it not for me but for others. Ostomates are all ages and sexes and all walks of life including some professional athletes. Please let me know if you have any questions but mostly if you or a loved one are facing this life saving surgery, I’d be glad to help.If anyone would like to share my post, I’ll be glad to make it shareable by allowing public access. Let me know.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner. I help where I can in the support groups and over 48 years ago tried forming a youth group here in Pittsburgh for ostomates, spoke to auditoriums full of high schoolers at various schools trying to discuss differences and acceptance for all and was always received well.  I went on a local talk show regarding my surgery back in 1975. Being an ostomate does not define me so I spend little time discussing it unless I can be of help or it’s in a relevant conversation, which it is this week!

Editors note: The humor of the Larry character in Curb Your Enthusiasm is often built around his selfish and ignorant views. In past episodes with characters who are disabled or have a disease, those characters are usually used to help magnify his faults. This episode did not include an ostomate character just the perception of what one would be like and what life would be like with one. The opportunity for awareness, such as what Michael J Fox brought to Parkinson’s in his past episodes, was missed. 

Want to get a more positive ostomy awareness message on TV and social media? Share UOAA’s Ostomy Public Service Announcement.

 

Osmani Gonzalez’s Story

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Surviving colorectal cancer, reversal complications, and living with faith & perseverance

In June 2018, Osmani Gonzalez began a new exercise program to help him lose weight and kickstart a healthier lifestyle. Two months into his new routine, the then 42-year-old began to experience abdominal pain. Gonzalez assumed it was due to his workouts, but the pain foreshadowed a much more severe issue.

His discomfort only worsened over time, and in August 2018, Gonzalez, who was born in Havana, Cuba, and raised in Hialeah, Florida, was rushed to a nearby hospital with a swollen abdomen.

To alleviate his pain and to clear an obstruction in his colon, he underwent surgery for an ileostomy. During this procedure, surgeons build an opening in the abdominal wall by bringing the end of the small intestine out onto the surface of the skin, creating an opening for his intestinal waste to pass through into an ostomy bag attached to his abdomen. Unfortunately, the news that came after his procedure was not favorable – Gonzalez was diagnosed with Stage 2 colon cancer.

He cried along with his wife of 23 years Aleida, and despite not knowing what they were getting into remembers them saying, “We are going to fight it, good or bad we will try our best.”

Gonzalez thinks patients should also find time to have empathy for others. “It’s so important to understand the caregiver and ask how they are doing and to never forget that they are going through similar things,” Gonzalez says. He received 12 sessions of chemotherapy for six months. While in the hospital for treatment during the Christmas Holiday Gonzalez, who is an advocate and speaker for father engagement in K through 12 education and active in several area PTA’s where he raised two children, had an idea to bring some cheer to fellow patients by having local children draw cards of support to his fellow patients.

Gonzalez’s cancer went into remission and was told he no longer needed the ostomy.

In February 2019, Gonzalez underwent reversal surgery. However, three days after the procedure, he woke up in horrible pain, and a CT scan revealed there was a leak in his intestine and his staples had come undone. After the blood system was contaminated, Gonzalez was diagnosed with sepsis shock and had to undergo another surgery to have an ileostomy again. Afterward, Mr. Gonzalez was put in a medically induced coma for 18 days.

“At that point, my wife was given very little hope and was told just to pray and prepare for the worst,” Gonzalez said.

When he woke up from the coma, he began occupational and physical therapies and was on an IV drip to help alleviate his constant dehydration. Gonzalez learned to walk and perform basic physical activities. He used a wheelchair for more than three months while he recovered.

Even with the support he was receiving, Gonzalez’s kidneys began to fail. During one of his many trips to the ER, a gastroenterologist suspected he was suffering from short bowel syndrome, a condition in which your body is unable to absorb enough nutrients from the foods you eat because you do not have enough intestine.

“We all have downs and need motivation. Whatever it is you grab onto, you have to have a why and decide to live.”

Gonzalez was rushed to the Hospital’s emergency department and referred to a well-known trauma surgeon and surgical critical care specialist. “He came weighing 176 pounds, and in six months, he kept losing even more weight,” Gonzales recalls the doctor saying. “We only had 125 centimeters of small intestine to stabilize him.”

For Gonzalez to get better, the Doctor placed him on Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN) so his body could receive the nutrition needed to strengthen his intestines. Over the next two years, Gonzalez continued receiving TPN and seeing the Doctor biweekly, undergoing continuous lab work to monitor his progress.

Despite frequent challenges with ostomy leaks and TPN he would go out fishing and continued to push himself to do things he loved. He remembers one time after a shower attempting to stop an active stoma with his hand and making quite a mess, “My wife just said it’s better laughing than crying,” he recalls with a smile.

On June 25, 2021, he was taken off the TPN and underwent a successful reversal surgery to repair his intestines, clean up scar tissue, and remove the stoma.

On July 9, he went home with a feeding tube and by September 13, he was on a regular and independent diet. His doctor told him, “He’s been one of the most optimistic patients I have ever cared for.”

While going through this medical journey, Gonzalez had to reduce his workflow with his construction company to focus on his health. Mr. Gonzalez is currently enrolled in a program slowly allowing him to join the workforce again. He has been working in construction management and is gradually entering a more active lifestyle.

“I look at life differently now. My focus is improving daily and being more involved in my kids’ lives,” Gonzalez said. “I’m extremely grateful to the Doctor and my care team at the hospital for performing this miracle.”

Gonzalez has expressed what a blessing it has been to have met Lynn Wolfson of the South Florida Ostomy and Tube Feeding/HPN Support Group, which provides support and comfort to other ostomy patients and guides patients through their journey of living with these conditions.

Gonzalez recently had the chance to share his story with the group and UOAA followers around the country on a Zoom presentation. He stressed the mental aspects of recovery and looking beyond day-to-day challenges.

“Keep pushing and do what you love, sometimes even when you don’t want to do something, once you start the process your feelings change,” Gonzalez says. “We all have downs and need motivation. Whatever it is you grab onto, you have to have a why and decide to live.”

Victor’s Ostomy Story

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Choosing Ostomy Surgery

Before I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, I had zero health issues throughout my life, except for high blood pressure. Fast forward to age 26 and I started experiencing a lot of blood in my stool with no idea why. I can be a stubborn person so I didn’t tell anyone what was happening; not even the people closest to me. A few months went by and my mother noticed blood in the toilet pretty consistently and asked me about it. I told her that it had been going on for months and that I didn’t know why.

We ended up going to our local gastroenterologist and they did tests and I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Obviously, I had no idea what it was but he said that I would need to change my diet and to watch what I eat. Fast forward a year or more and I had already been through two GIs and I was being sent to another. They said that I had a very severe case of ulcerative colitis. Meanwhile, around two years in I lost the ability to be able to hold my bowels in for longer than a few seconds. I was miserable, had lost a lot of weight, and also a lot of “friends”. This was also all happening during the COVID pandemic so I wasn’t able to see my doctors in person.

The final year before I got surgery I had lost 40-50 pounds, had been to the emergency department  countless times, as well as hospitalized 3-4 times. I ended up being super anemic and needed iron infusions as well as one blood infusion. That last year was the final straw. The summer of 2021 I ended up losing my bowels on myself 40+ times on my 20-minute drive home from work. I told my boss I couldn’t work anymore and that’s when I first heard about ostomies and started researching. I didn’t know what an ostomy bag was before then but after joining a subreddit on Reddit called r/Ostomy I started to see that an ostomy was the answer to my problem.

I went to my GI and told him that I’m done trying medicine, I’m done not being able to go out and experience life, I’m done with prednisone (which was wrecking my body), and  I’m done being physically, mentally, and spiritually drained. I was completely broken. He said that all he could do was refer me to a surgeon. I arrived at the surgeon’s office begging him for surgery and he said “I’ve never had a patient come into my office practically begging me for surgery, so yes we can do it.”

Getting an ostomy completely changed my life but I didn’t let it completely change me.

Two months later I was walking in for a total colectomy and a placement of a stoma. I was afraid but I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was. So February 21 of 2022 I got Stoma Steve. It only took a few weeks to know that I made the right decision. I felt better immediately. Luckily, I had a lot of help between my spirituality, my support network, my family, the subreddit r/Ostomy, and the surgeon’s office. I couldn’t have done it alone.

I didn’t want to mention this because I didn’t want it to be a focal point of my story, but at the time of my surgery I had over 5+ years clean from ALL mood or mind-altering chemicals so I didn’t go home from the hospital with any medicine besides Tylenol. Honestly, the recovery wasn’t bad but only a short few months after I developed a prolapse of my stoma. It was a big one but it wasn’t affecting my daily life (besides the anxiety it caused me) so they opted to wait to fix it until I decided whether or not I wanted to keep the stoma forever or get a reversal.

I want to be able to share with people that just because I have something like an ostomy doesn’t mean I can’t do the things I love. Being a bright light in a horrible disease is a blessing for me.

I researched reversals and with the help of family decided that I was going to keep the ostomy bag. So on January 10th of 2023 I got my rectum and anus removed and they fixed my stoma prolapse. Again, the recovery wasn’t bad but this time the hospital stay was horrible. I ended up getting straight cathed three times, I had an NG tube placed because Stoma Steve wasn’t pushing food out and my drain was bothering me for the month I had it. Again, I can’t thank the subreddit r/Ostomy enough because they were who I vented to and talked to for help and coping strategies because no one in my life except them knew what I was going through.

My Ostomy bag and stoma has saved my life. This year has been one of the best years of my life. I explored nature, started exercising, running/walking 5ks, fishing more, cycling, and many other things. I’m a Patient Care Technician in the Behavioral Health Unit in my local hospital. I love being able to help people on a daily basis. Being able to fulfill my purpose; which is helping other people, brings me joy daily. That is why I want to share my story.

I did no know about UOAA until I became interested in wanting to share my story and researched how to get involved with advocacy and sharing about ostomies. I would love to do the Run for Resilience Ostomy 5K on World Ostomy Day this year and get more involved with the UOAA community.

Getting an ostomy completely changed my life but I didn’t let it completely change me. A lot of people don’t understand why I’m so positive and happy most of the time. It is because I have been through a lot in my short 30 years of life and I don’t want to let the bad things outweigh the good things. I want to be able to share with people that just because I have something like an ostomy doesn’t mean I can’t do the things I love. Being a bright light in a horrible disease is a blessing for me.

Thank you for reading!!

Celia’s Story: Feeling at Home with Short Bowel Syndrome

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Since short bowel syndrome is not something most people talk about every day, I am excited that we have a month to bring awareness to it. As someone living with short bowel syndrome (SBS) and an ostomy, I have learned to be grateful for the technologies and doctors who have helped keep me alive through my surgeries and infections. And I am proud of myself for developing the self-reliance to find ways to make my life easier.

To learn more about SBS, visit https://sbs-whattoknow.com/. To join the community and talk with others who are living with SBS, check out https://www.facebook.com/TakedaSBS/.

People with ostomies come from all stages of life, and we all have different stories to tell. But we also share some common experiences—and we can learn from each other. I have an ostomy because of SBS, a rare digestive disorder that many people may not know much about. If you asked me about my memories of my SBS diagnosis, I couldn’t answer that because I don’t remember it. My SBS diagnosis happened right after I was born. Fortunately, my doctors quickly ran tests and diagnosed me with Hirschsprung’s disease, a condition at birth where certain nerves are missing from parts of the intestine. I immediately had surgery to remove my colon and half of my small intestine, which led to my SBS diagnosis and having an ostomy.

My parents, who were graduate students at the time, were as ready as they could be to bring home a baby, but I think they had prepared for the predictable, everyday challenges of having a “normal” baby, not for me. After my surgery, I spent about one month in the NICU, where the nurses instructed my parents on how to care for me.

When my parents brought me home, they raised me to never feel different and didn’t see my condition as something to hold me back; they wanted me to be independent, which I am! My health condition has been just a part of who I am. I grew up getting hooked up to IV nutrition, a form of parenteral support or PS, every night. It was such a part of my routine that I didn’t know any different. SBS was just part of my life.

From a very early age, I learned how to take care of myself because that’s what parents teach their children. If I hadn’t had SBS, they would have potty-trained me. Instead, they taught me how to drain my ostomy. Their attitude was, This is going to be difficult, but she has to do this. So, we would work on the steps together. Just like other kids learning to make it to the toilet, I learned how to change my ostomy so that I would be ready for school.

Starting preschool was an adventure. How many schools are equipped to care for a kid with an ostomy? Wildly enough, the director of the preschool was an older woman who had friends with ostomies, so she was familiar with my needs! It’s a great example that, despite age differences, we can connect through our ostomy knowledge and help each other out. Eventually, the preschool teachers and director trained the staff at my elementary school when it was time for me to start my education.

As I was growing up, all my friends knew that I had a health condition. I also think I was lucky in that, while I was technically very sick in the beginning, the doctors were able to address it early on. That meant that even though I had a rare digestive disorder, I was actually not a very sick child. Plus, I just didn’t have that concept of shame. For show-and-tell, I’d pull up my shirt to show everyone my line for my parenteral nutrition. And they’d all be like, “Cool! There’s some weird plastic thing hanging out! Moving on…” No one cared.

Then, when I was in middle school, we moved from California to the East Coast. For the first time ever, I had to share my condition with others—in a student population hundreds of times larger than the tiny magnet school I’d left behind. Plus, my health condition started flaring up for the first time. I missed the first day of school due to my first-ever line infection. At that point, I hadn’t really processed what my medical condition meant for my life.

So, I was dealing with complex new health issues while trying to pretend I was “normal.” I got through middle and high school through sheer determination. While I enjoyed my time at school, I often felt like an outsider—like I couldn’t tell people about my true self. I shrank into myself and let fear cause me to lose who I really was. I realized, for example, that the type of shirt “everyone was wearing” would show my line. If I wore the “in” jeans, which were low-waisted, my ostomy bag popped out. I was already not like everybody else just by my clothes alone. Add in missing a lot of school due to hospitalizations and infections, and people would recognize me as “the girl that’s gone all the time.” I let go of hobbies, friends, talents, and dreams just to blend in.

These days, more than two decades after my SBS diagnosis, I don’t worry about blending in so much. Instead, I am clear about my needs, and I’ve figured out what works for me. It doesn’t matter if my jeans are on trend—feeling good and confident in my own skin and my own life matters most. From my clothing choices to creating an ostomy station in my bathroom that’s both functional and cozy, I have learned to set up the things I need to feel comfortable and happy. This also means that when something is stressful or hard, like if the bag breaks in the middle of the night, I already have a bag ready on my nightstand so that I can deal with the issue. I try to think through what might happen when I am clear-eyed and calm so that when difficulties arise (which, in my experience, they have), I can focus on fixing the problem.

I’ve been managing my ostomy on my own since high school, and even when I’m in the hospital or being visited by nurses at home, I take charge of changing my bag. Sometimes the nurses are curious to see how a patient does it independently. I think that as they watch me, they pick up tips and strategies to show their patients different—but still medically acceptable—ways of managing their bags at home. We (or our caregivers) learn the correct procedures in the hospital, and we all find ways to adapt to SBS.

Thankfully, hospitals and homes are two separate things. So when I bring my SBS home with me, I try to be a good host and make it cozy and comfortable.

In recognition of Short Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month, I would like to encourage my fellow SBS patients and their caregivers to stand up and become their own best advocates. As I said, people with ostomies come from all stages of life, and while every patient is unique, we are all in this together.

This article was created by Takeda.

Editor’s Note: This educational article is from one of our digital sponsors, Takeda. Sponsor support along with donations from our readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Daily Living with an Ostomy

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Every Individual is Unique so Don’t Put Restrictions on Yourself Based on Others

By Lisa Febre

The morning after my colectomy, the first question I had for my surgeon was “can I still do yoga?” My surgeon had a good-natured and amused response: “Please give yourself two weeks to recover from this surgery, and then you can do all the yoga you want.” He also told me that with my specific colostomy, in two weeks I could get back to my regular diet with no restrictions. (I’ve since learned those with an ileostomy have different considerations.)

Sure enough, two weeks later, once I was sufficiently recovered, I was living out his predictions. I was back on the yoga mat, twisting myself into pretzels, lifting into tricky arm balances, and standing on my head. I was outdoors hiking and running. For the first week after surgery, I was following a soft-solids diet, and by the second week I was eating whatever I wanted. By the end of the month, I was even eating Reuben sandwiches with sauerkraut!

I knew no boundaries because I had none.

It wasn’t until I joined a support group on social media that I noticed people were questioning things I was taking for granted like taking a shower, exercising, wearing pants, and eating vegetables. Are there eating restrictions for ostomates? Was it possible some people were told they could not exercise with their ostomy? The answer is …yes… ish.

Showering with an Ostomy

I was given a temporary colostomy in December 2021 when I was diagnosed with Stage-4c Colon Cancer (at the age of 47). There is no way around it: this is a big shock to the body and the mind. But the only thing I could think about was getting into the shower and washing off the five days’ worth of sweat and grime that had accumulated on my body during my hospital stay. I stripped down, my new Hollister 2-piece system hanging off of me and stepped into the shower. I didn’t think about the bag at all, I just showered like I normally did. When I was done, I dried myself and the bag off with a towel, and… that was it. I did this every single day without a second thought.

I would laugh at myself and say: it’s just poop, it’s not nuclear waste!

Weeks later, I was surprised to learn people commenting online were wrapping up their colostomy bags with layers of plastic wrap and were trying desperately to keep their abdomens out of the water. Wait… are we not supposed to get the bags wet? That didn’t sound right to me. The barrier has to be taken off with adhesive removal wipes or sprays, and even then, it can be difficult to separate it from your skin. The durable plastic receptacle bag is meant to hold all kinds of bodily fluids, it seems obvious that it should be able to handle a little soap and water. The customer service reps at both Hollister and Coloplast concurred: they specifically told me that their products are meant to be used while showering, bathing, and even swimming, with no extra accessories. Again, because no one told me I couldn’t, I was already doing these things. It was heartbreaking to see so many of my fellow ostomates avoiding basic hygiene for fear of doing it with the bag on.

It seems like the solution might be to shower without the appliance. There tends to be even more fear surrounding this practice of naked showers. Again, this was something that I had already done without asking for permission. One day I was changing my appliance, decided it would be a great time to shower, and just jumped in. The soap on my newly exposed skin felt fantastic, my stoma looked to be enjoying the water running down my belly. Naked showers were soothing and necessary for my peace of mind. I always felt the cleanest when I showered without my appliance. The skin under the barrier stayed healthy and the adhesives worked much better. Always close at hand was a disposable plastic cup filled 1/4 up with water which I used to catch any “visitors” that might erupt from my exposed stoma during my shower. I would laugh at myself and say: it’s just poop, it’s not nuclear waste!

Exercising with an Ostomy

This is something you absolutely must talk to your doctor about. I can’t give you proper advice since everyone has a different risk value for a parastomal hernia (that’s when your intestines try to push their way through the incision around the stoma). Although 50% of people with a stoma will get a parastomal hernia, that doesn’t mean you are going to get one. Your surgeon will assess your risk. I had almost no risk of one of these hernias because I was fit and active before the surgery; there was a low likelihood that my incision site would fail while I had the stoma. I was told I could begin exercising again 2 weeks post-op. Alternately, when I had my reversal surgery 10 months later, my surgeon said there is a slightly higher risk of a hernia at the closure site and wanted me to wait 8 weeks before lifting anything over 10 pounds, and that included doing yoga.

Even within one person, my risks were different for each surgery. This is why you have to have a clear assessment from your doctor and follow their directions. Some people may still develop a hernia despite following their surgeon’s directions. It’s important to question and clarify, but ultimately listen to your doctor– and not just people online, this gives you the best chance for success.

Dressing with an Ostomy

This is a tricky one for ostomates because everyone’s stoma is in a slightly different spot. I was able to wear jeans and form-fitting clothing because the location of my stoma made that possible. Someone else may have their stoma exactly where the rigid waistband of their favorite jeans falls, which can be an issue. Your clothing isn’t necessarily going to hurt the stoma, but you do need to save room for when your stoma has output. For some, tight-fitting clothing can restrict the bag, forcing the output backward toward your skin and under the barrier.

Dressing is definitely not a one-size-fits-all situation, so unfortunately no one can really give someone else game-changing advice. Be ready to experiment, but always wear clothing that makes you feel good. It was important to me to wear jeans, so I bought new jeans with a lower waistband that fell just under my stoma. Many other women invest in maternity pants. But I never left the house feeling frumpy. My colostomy was not in charge of my fashion sense, I was!

Eating with an Ostomy

Everyone has a unique reason for having an ostomy. In my case, I had my colostomy because of cancer; I had no pre-existing intestinal issues or dietary restrictions. If you are like me and could eat whatever you wanted before, chances are high that your doctor will tell you you can go back to that way of eating after your surgery. But some people, who come to a colostomy or ileostomy through ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease (or other gastrointestinal disease), may already have restrictions that they still need to take into consideration. An ostomy does not always magically erase your special diet for your IBD.

The general rule is however you ate before your colostomy is how you can eat now.

It does not rule you; it is not the most important thing about you, and it does not define your life.

I am vegan and I had no trouble eating any vegetables with my colostomy. UOAA’s trusted Eating with an Ostomy Guide provides info including a standard chart of foods to avoid at first with an ileostomy or colostomy – whether that is because they create stinky output, excess gas, diarrhea, constipation, or could cause blockages. Speak with your doctor and surgeon if you are unsure how to handle building your new diet. If you’re introducing new vegetables (or any kind of food) into your post-colostomy diet, just try a little bit and see what happens! If your doctor says it’s ok, don’t be afraid to try eating the old things you love, and maybe be inspired to try some new things as well. A good practice for all is to chew thoroughly and stay hydrated.

Stay Positive with an Ostomy

Some people wonder how they can ever find something positive in something so scary as an ostomy, but it can be done. You don’t need to do it in big grand gestures or sweeping alterations in your character. Just try one little switch when the opportunity comes up. It isn’t about skipping down the street singing the praises of your ostomy, it’s about finding moments when you can see the silver lining. I thought it was sort of fun to have something so unique on my body. Very few people ever get to have this close a relationship with their intestines, so instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to call myself “lucky” for learning so much about how my digestive tract works.

Maybe most important of all, my ostomy led me to a UOAA support group where I met some wonderful people. I have made new friends who I would never have met without my ostomy. That is something to be very thankful for.

Spend some time every day when you force yourself to not think about your ostomy. Even if it’s just 20 seconds, it is important to learn to push this thing into the background of your life. It does not rule you; it is not the most important thing about you, and it does not define your life. Stay Positive! One day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time, but you can do this.

Learn to Take Care of Your Ostomy

Our emotional recovery depends on regaining independence. I was only 47 when I received my ostomy. I am too young to rely on others to take care of me. I laughed when the home health aide arrived and started treating me like I was 80. I was not going to lie down and become helpless. I was going to be an active participant in my own health and recovery.

Learning how to care for yourself makes you feel like a Superhero!

If you suddenly find yourself having to depend on someone else to maintain your appliance, you will feel even more out of control and worried that something might go wrong. Believe me: something will go wrong — leaks happen to the best of us, and at the most unexpected times. If you have to wait until your nurse can come to your house, or until your partner gets home from work, you will feel more helpless with each passing day. Paranoid that something terrible will happen if you get a leak while you’re alone, you may not leave the house to run errands, you may say no to social gatherings, and you may not want to go back to work.

Learning how to care for yourself makes you feel like a Superhero! I had a cool little zipper bag that fit in my purse containing a precut barrier, 2 extra bags, 2-3 adhesive remover wipes, 2-3 skin prep wipes, a disposal bag, and a travel-size PooPourri Spray. Knowing I had all the supplies I needed to do a quick bag change in a strange bathroom gave me immense peace of mind. I could change the whole system in less than 5 minutes, all by myself!

And if you need a little smile while you fumble around with your first bag change alone, just repeat my favorite mantra out loud: I got this whole thing in the bag!

 

Lisa Febre is the author of “Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable,” a memoir about her diagnosis and treatment of Stage-4c Colon Cancer, which hits bookshelves in September 2023. She had a descending colostomy for 10-months.

Destined to Love, Ostomates by Chance

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By Ed Pfueller, UOAA Communications Manager

Taylor Mitchell and Michael Ross

It was raining every day, for weeks, before Taylor and Michael were set to get married. But as the recently wed couple stepped out of the church for photos, only the sun was shining, a distant mountain range framed their joy – the chilly Alaskan rain held off.

“It was an absolutely magical day,” says Taylor, the bride. “Taylor took my breath away when I saw her, she was absolutely stunning,” Michael recalls.

Even if the dark clouds had drenched their special day, it’s doubtful it would have dampened their mood. This specific couple is used to living with ostomies and chronic illness and they seem prepared to weather any storm.

Friends from the Start

Taylor and Michael first met ten years ago in a local college undergrad class. “I scanned the room, saw him, thought he was cute, and decided I wanted to sit by him and try to be friends. I didn’t know if anything would come of our friendship. We had a great connection as friends, Taylor recalls.

“She was smart, insightful, and easy on the eyes, but I would never have imagined she was interested in me beyond friendship,” Michael says.

The friendship slowly turned into dating. “We have a lot in common and also have a lot of differences. I love to plan, and she is more spontaneous. We both respect each other and can be vulnerable with each other, and the biggest thing is we trust each other,” Michael says.

Taylor says some things she loves about Michael is that he understands her and that they have a shared faith. “He always wants to help me any way he can, and he’s generous to others,” she says.

What is an Ostomy?

“While we were dating, I didn’t know Michael had an ostomy for a while and when he did tell me, I had no idea what it was,” Taylor says. “His ostomy was never an issue for me and so my experience while dating was positive! His ostomy never impacted anything in our relationship from my perspective.”

Michael has had a long ostomy journey and awareness, his mother had a urostomy. ”I had a colostomy for about two years, takedown for four, and have had a permanent ileostomy for the past fifteen years due to complications with Crohn’s disease,” he says.

“I didn’t date much before I met Taylor but had no negative experiences when I did date. Taylor was very understanding when I told her (and showed her) about my ostomy. She was very understanding and seemed eager to learn more.”

“My advice would be, if you’re a person who doesn’t have an ostomy and finds yourself dating someone with an ostomy, educate yourself and do your best to understand your partner, their limitations (if any), and then just treat them as a regular person!” Taylor says.

Taylor also advises that if you have an ostomy and find yourself with someone who doesn’t have an ostomy. “Give the partner an opportunity to accept you and make the choice for themselves on what they’re comfortable with. You’re not for everyone and that’s ok and vice versa! I think it will always be slightly nerve-wracking to have a body that isn’t “normal” by current beauty standards because of the fear of rejection and embarrassment, Taylor says. “Society tends to tell us that no one will want us if there’s something “wrong” with us. But, if you can muster the courage to put yourself out there, the outcome may be better than you ever imagined!”

I don’t think we will have any more challenges than the average couple… we just poop differently. -Michael Ross

In Sickness and in Health

Caregiving has been a consistent part of Taylor and Michael’s relationship. “When Michael had to have revision surgery, I wanted to make sure he’d have easily accessible food so he could focus on healing. I came over to his house prior to surgery and we made a few different meals to freeze. It was a great feeling for me that we got to spend time together cooking and his food would be taken care of while he recovered. He was used to taking care of himself so it meant a lot to me to do this for him.”

Meanwhile, Taylor started dealing with her own undiagnosed chronic illness. “I had to go to the Mayo Clinic while we were dating, and he took time off of work to come with me for a week. He came to all my appointments and helped me navigate all my emotions with what I was dealing with. This is the kind of thing we do for each other, we try to make the hard times easier by taking care of the small things and the big things,” she says.

Just a year and a half ago Taylor, with her health worsening Taylor had ostomy surgery as a result of chronic constipation. For better or worse they were now an ostomate couple.

A Couple of Ostomates

After her ostomy surgery, Taylor says she, “shared with him every single aspect of what I was going through. It was nice to be with someone who already knew! It felt good from my perspective to understand him better, now that we had the same appliance… I actually knew first-hand what he was dealing with.”

Michael says that one of the best parts of being with another ostomate is knowing that someone really understands what you are going through. “It’s nice to be able to compare notes on new products and understand when my partner isn’t feeling well, to have the option to share supplies, tag along to doctor’s appointments, and ask questions about care, procedures, and recovery,” he says.

In addition to a new mutual understanding of health issues, Taylor says, “We know what to do if one of us isn’t feeling well. We just understand each other on a deeper level. He accepts me as an individual and he accepts my body even as it changes with all my health challenges.”

It felt good from my perspective to understand him better, now that we had the same appliance… I actually knew first-hand what he was dealing with. -Taylor Mitchell

As for difficulties, they both dread a possible double leak at night, and can imagine the challenge of not feeling well at the same time or needing a procedure around the same time. Taylor says the most challenging part has been encouraging the other to stick to the foods that work for us, to drink water more consistently, and get our electrolytes in.” Michael concludes, “I don’t think we will have any more challenges than the average couple… we just poop differently.”

Finding Community and Support

Even with partner support, Taylor says “UOAA has been so incredibly important to me in my ostomy journey. When I first got my ostomy, I scoured the UOAA website and read every piece of information I could find which helped ease my mind and answer my questions. UOAA’s website also helped me to be able to share information about my ostomy with family and friends.”

The couple, who both work in logistics, has recently moved to Colorado but while in Alaska both say they had the good fortune of having Luella Odmark as their WOC nurse.

“Luella is an amazing individual who cares so deeply about ostomates,” Taylor says. She does a training for nurses at one of our hospitals and has invited my husband and I to speak to the class about our ostomy history, give advice on what we wish we had from nurses, doctors, and hospital staff as well as sharing some of our favorite products,” she adds.

“I enjoyed observing the transformation of two people pursuing their own interests, coming together, including getting married, now mentoring others about ostomies,” says  Odmark, a WOC Nurse and the leader of the Anchorage Ostomy Support Group. “I hope to see them continue to spread hope about living with an ostomy,” Odmark adds.

Odmark also joins the couple each Ostomy Awareness Day to walk the Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k. The experience was especially meaningful to Taylor. “The Ostomy 5k was a huge accomplishment the first time I did it because I was three months post op and it was a huge struggle for me to walk a 5k, I almost didn’t finish it and wanted to give up so many times. Taylor continues, “My second time, this year, it was still a hard thing for me to accomplish but I did so much better! I loved seeing people from all over doing their 5k however was comfortable for them. It was encouraging!”

 

UOAA has been so incredibly important to me in my ostomy journey. -Taylor Mitchell

Taylor is especially open about her ostomy journey and embraces Ostomy Awareness Day as a chance to connect with more people online and see their stories. “It’s such a nice feeling to know that I am not alone. I see people who are confident with their ostomy and I see people who are working to build their confidence,” Taylor says.

Taylor hopes to help even more people and nurses through UOAA outreach opportunities. “I love UOAA’s mission, I love the work they do, and I love all the resources that are available for FREE so financial barriers are removed for as many people as possible. Accessibility is so important! I am proud to be a supporter of UOAA.”

Michael agrees and adds, “I’m very thankful for all of the people that organize the walk, work with ostomates, and are around to help us on our ostomy journey. I’m most thankful for my wife, who I get to take this journey with every day.”

 

Jessica’s Ostomy Story: Making an Invisible Illness Visible

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Words and Photos by Jessica Miles

Living with a permanent ostomy can bring on significant changes in one’s personal, social and professional life. My biggest fear around having my ostomy surgery was leakage, particularly in public, skin breakdown and altered body image. There was a lot of trial and error in the beginning, but I have found what works for me as well as the confidence to share about it. I have always been an empath and very compassionate, however, I have now found a new passion for helping others (through my surgeon and on social media) learn how to manage their ostomy as well as how to cope with their new life. If you are willing and able to adapt, you can do anything!

In 2016, after years of unexplained symptoms, countless procedures, hospitalizations, tests, and a couple of misdiagnoses, it was confirmed that I had a genetic connective tissue disorder caused by a defect in the protein collagen. I was diagnosed with Classical type Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. More than 90% of people with Classical EDS have mutations in the COL5A1 or COL5A2 gene. I have a mutation of the COL5A2 gene. The condition is inherited in an autosomal dominant manner. Treatment and management is focused on preventing serious complications and relieving symptoms.

Classical EDS is associated with skin hyperextensibility, joint laxity, fragile blood vessels, joint hypermobility, migraines, joint and muscle pain. Some individuals with this subtype have a deformity of heart valves and may experience a dilatation of the aorta. In cEDS there is also an increased risk for aortic dissection. cEDS patients are prone to hernias and organ prolapse, as well as comorbidities such as autonomic dysfunction…which regulates heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, pupillary response and digestion.

I ended up having multiple surgeries over the past four and a half years due to intestinal dysmotility, prolapses and hernias, resulting in a port and a permanent ostomy. I now, have an ascending end colostomy. While I prepared for years for the possibility of having one, I realized nothing truly prepares you for the actuality of living with a bag on your belly for the rest of your life. Though little by little, the stigma took a back seat to the reality that life with an ostomy can be just as good, if not better for some, than life without one. I suffered constantly from abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, bloating, constipation, bowel obstructions and malabsorption. While I still struggle with many debilitating symptoms of my disorder, I am now able to eat, gain weight and go to the bathroom regularly. Something I always took for granted until I was no longer able to do so.

My symptoms aren’t usually visible to the untrained eye, but they are life-altering for me.

Though I have a constant physical reminder of my condition in the ostomy, to the rest of the world, mine is a largely invisible illness.

It’s hard to describe how I feel to someone who has no idea what daily life with a chronic illness is like. I feel awful on the inside but look perfectly fine on the outside. Putting on a brave face for all to see has become a habit. My symptoms aren’t usually visible to the untrained eye, but they are life-altering for me.

I’ve learned to take everything step by step and day by day. My goal is to break down the stigma of ostomies, and while it’s not always easy, to show that one can still thrive and live a happy life with chronic illness. Due to pain and fatigue, I’ve learned to budget my energy, and while I may function normally one day, I usually need to rest the next. It’s all about finding balance. I am blessed to have an amazing support system in my husband and two boys, the rest of my family and friends.

For me, photography has been a powerful way to document my health journey and what I experience every day. It helps me see my progress, as well as setbacks in a cathartic way.

I am a registered nurse nationally certified in inpatient obstetrics. Unfortunately due to my illness, continuous surgeries and hospitalizations, I made the most difficult decision of my life and gave up the profession I worked so hard for and one that was a huge part of my identity. I am also an award-winning, internationally published photographer, focusing primarily on birth photography and self-portraiture. I found a new purpose, capturing laboring women and their deliveries combined both of my passions: childbirth and photography.

As a photographer, I believe that art enhances the well-being of individuals, society, and our environment and that artists have the power to heal, inspire, provoke, challenge, and offer hope. For me, photography has been a powerful way to document my health journey and what I experience every day. It helps me see my progress, as well as setbacks in a cathartic way. Photography allows people to see different perspectives and can be used as a tool for personal healing and positive change for many while nurturing creativity and self-expression.

My favorite quote is by the artist, Frida Kahlo. “At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.” I have definitely found this to be true and learned I am much more resilient than I ever thought I was. My illness has caused me to know myself better, which keeps my work honest and true. In the process, you truly meet yourself, which makes for better, more authentic work.