(10-13yo)
Your ostomy does not define your relationships!
Friends
- Explain your situation to a close friend and lean on them for support. Again, be sure to clear this with them beforehand.
- Ask your parents to help you practice how to tell your friends and/or teachers.
Establish Boundaries
- Be CLEAR about things you cannot do. If your friends continue to ask you to do something you cannot, you may need to bow out and talk with your parents about ways to handle these situations.
- Compromise when it does not hurt you (but do not compromise on your needs).
- If you know your friends want to eat at a place that will cause you problems, you can eat beforehand, pack a snack, or you can stop somewhere afterwards
- If your friends are reluctant to listen to you, listen to their misgivings and reassure them.
Dating with an Ostomy
Some teens begin dating earlier than others with some being more vocal about their desire to date.
Your ostomy is a part of YOU, and if a date is not accepting of that, then you cannot be your most authentic self — you are worthy of that!
There is no set timeline for when you disclose your ostomy and/or medical conditions; do so when it seems necessary/relevant/right.
Talk to your parents about dating topics such as personal values, expectations, and peer pressure.
Tell your parents what you think dating is and is not and ask questions you might have. Ask your parents about their dating experiences.
Ask your parents to talk about the basic topics such as how to meet parents, being respectful on a date, how to handle a disrespectful date, safe sex.
Your parents should offer some level of privacy~ do not read text messages/emails or listen in on phone calls. Your parents should keep tabs on what you do/text/phone calls.
Invite your friends over so your parents can meet them.
Know that if your parents overhear negative comments or if you are the receiving end of negative comments, they will and should intervene. Talk openly about these events.
Remember that any pictures/comments that are placed on social media are there for life and can easily backfire and can be shared with unintended recipients.
Talk with your parents about safety rules of dating~ safety rules of online dating, establish curfew, set dating age limits (check your state age requirement), ~ and have clear phone/texting rules.
Peer Pressure
Be strong as there will be pressure in middle school to be accepted by your social group. Understand that there will be things you cannot do because of the problems they will cause you and your ostomy. Talk with your parents about how to handle these situations.
Exercising/Playing Sports
- You can exercise and play sports. Make sure you build up your activity level over time.
- Drink plenty of fluids before, during and after the activity.
- If you ever feel “lightheaded” at any point~ STOP the activity~. Drink fluids and rest. Contact your healthcare provider if you do not feel better.
- You may want some sort of protection for your ostomy and there are many companies that sell belts/~ covers and other accessories for protection. Talk with your parents and/or your WOC nurse about the options.
Swimming with your ostomy
Many people find that they can swim without making any changes to the way they wear their ostomy appliance. Others need to make some simple changes to ensure that everything stays where it is supposed to be. Here are some suggestions that may help.
- Wear a protective wrap or tight swimsuit to hold the ostomy appliance close to your skin.
- Do not allow air to stay in the ostomy pouch. This will cause it to float and possibly separate from the wafer or your skin.
- Reinforce the edges with barrier protectors or waterproof tape.
- Don’t apply a fresh appliance right before you get into the water. It may take several hours to fully adhere to your skin.
- You may want to change the appliance after swimming, especially in salt water which can break down the adhesive material faster.
- Remember that you sweat when swimming in warm water or working out hard, even though you may not notice it because you’re covered in water already. Sweating under the appliance may require it to be changed more often.
Vacationing & Traveling
Ask your parents to work with the company that provides your appliances to see if they can ship emergency supplies to your vacation destination overnight.
Ask your parents to talk with your Ostomy nurse to see if there are contacts at other healthcare institutions at your destination.
Ask if they have emergency donated supplies you could obtain just in case.
If you need to go into an Emergency Room, ask your parents to have all of your medical history and know what supplies you might need as healthcare institutions have a lot of different appliances.
If you are flying you may want to keep supplies close to you.
If you normally cut your pouches you may want to consider precutting your appliances before your trip.
NOTE: Ostomy scissors are allowed on flights if they are less than 4 inches in the US and 2.4 inches in Canada. (Not if you are flying internationally, precut them)
Check with your airline before the trip to find out any specific guidelines.
Hope, support, and finding community
Parent Stories
These webpages are funded by a grant from Hollister Incorporated.
Contact Us
United Ostomy Associations of America
P.O. Box 2293
Biddeford, ME 04005-2293
Call us toll-free at: 1-800-826-0826.
Our Information Line hours are Monday-Friday, 9am to 3pm EST. If you have an emergency, please dial 911 or contact your local medical professional.
Please understand that UOAA is a private, nonprofit, advocacy and informational organization. We are not a medical facility and we do not have medical or legal professionals on staff. Therefore, UOAA does not provide Medical, Mental Health, Insurance or Legal Advice. Visit UOAA Virtual Ostomy Clinic provided by The Wound Company for non-emergency, virtual ostomy support.
