Tag Archive for: cancer

Embracing Life After Surgery 

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Before cancer came into my life, I was a very social person. My various professional ventures along with the diverse group of friends kept me on the go. Even though I dealt with anxiety it was mild enough that I was still a social butterfly.  

I was diagnosed with anal cancer on May 5, 2015, that’s Cinco de Mayo. We had the day planned, going to the groceries for Taco & Nacho Day. Watch mindless shows and spend the day together.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world.

We were three years into our relationship, and this was not on our Bingo card of relationships… Or was it? That whole summer was spent in bed or on the couch sleeping. I couldn’t stand a lot of smells or people- so not much socializing.  

Much like others like me, your caregiver becomes your world. You are dependent on them for food, medical needs, and conversation. Chrisitan, my boyfriend, was all that and more. He was also my punching bag and took all my frustration and honestly, I don’t know where he put that energy.

It made our relationship stronger; it tested the relationship and us. He also helped me get back into the real world easier although it takes the caregiver longer to step out of his role. I don’t know if they ever leave completely.  

It took almost six months to decide or be convinced for the ostomy surgery. I had done hyperbaric chamber treatment, and we were hoping things would heal. We expected a miracle. My sphincter would not grow back.  

Diapers were not very convenient for work. I traveled quite a bit and changing on the go was a pain in the butt. Those changing tables in the bathroom don’t hold an adult! I finally picked a date for the surgery.  

My surgery was scheduled for April 1, 2016. If that date sounds familiar it’s because it’s April Fool’s Day. Yes, my surgery was a joke, and I wasn’t laughing. I didn’t have a mentor, buddy or a nurse to tell me what to do. My brain was in constant conflict between I don’t want anyone to see me, and I need to get back out in front of people. I wanted to act, public speak, or at best go shopping and try on clothes.

Go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

When I first started to go out in public, I would use surgical tape and bind my bag down. I was sure that if I taped it hard enough it would go away. I felt so self-conscious that I would wear shirts one size larger.

Then one day, in a support group, I heard about wraps. I had to look up this miracle device that would give me back my manly figure. As if they were security secrets that you had to find through a scavenger hunt.

I felt confident, strong, and back to me… Kinda. I felt like a piggy bank and that everyone was looking at my belly. Finally, Tommy the Ostomy and I had worked out the kinks, made peace, and became frenemies… Kinda.

Eight years later I am out more, I travel more, and still panic a bit. Tommy still manages to surprise me from time to time. Almost every day I put on my belly-bra to keep things tight and snug, and I watch my weight so things don’t pop out.

I still get panic attacks, I still think everyone is looking at me, and I still think I’ll wake up and It’ll be gone. Except I have more self-esteem, I share my story, and I look great in a tight shirt and jeans!

If I could share any words of wisdom if a new ostomate it would be go hunting online for patient stories and trusted information like this website. Find a support group and ask as many questions as pop in your head. Some things you’ll learn on your own but we’re here to help.

Another thing, go through the feelings and emotions. I denied that anything happened, got very angry, negotiated with my higher power, still dealt with a bit of depression, and I’ve accepted that this is my reality. It has allowed me to move forward faster.  

We’re here for Colorectal Cancer Survivors

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By Cheryl Ory, UOAA President

President Biden has proclaimed March 2023 National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. The American Cancer Society says that colorectal cancer is the third leading cause of cancer related deaths in both men and women. On another note, the death rate has been dropping for several decades. One reason is that treatments have improved. Another reason is that colorectal polyps are now being found more after screening and removed before they can turn into a cancer.

UOAA Advocate, ostomate and colorectal cancer survivor Allison Rosen speaks on the National Mall as part of the United in Blue Rally sponsored by Fight Colorectal Cancer. Video: United in Blue Rally on the Mall (1)

In 2008 I was diagnosed with Stage 3b colorectal cancer. I was told the cancer had been developing for at least 10 years or more, most likely when I was in my early 30’s. There was a polyp, if it had been removed at an earlier date the cancer would not have developed. After radiation, chemo, surgery, and more chemo I am now a colorectal cancer survivor with a permanent colostomy, an ostomy that has saved mine and others lives from not only cancer, but other debilitating diseases.

I’m happy that UOAA is standing alongside partner organizations like Fight Colorectal Cancer to push lawmakers into giving attention to the alarming rise in young people with colorectal cancer.

With younger people being as risk and diagnosed , The U.S Preventative Services Task Force lowered the recommended screening age to 45 in 2021.  One in five colorectal cancer patients is between the ages of 20-54. Talk to your doctor about options for colorectal cancer screening. As the Colon Cancer Coalition states with earlier screening and detection, “Colorectal Cancer can be  Preventable, Treatable, Beatable.”

If you are a person still at risk, like those with IBD, let me urge you to get screened. Screening can result in any colorectal cancers being found earlier when they are easier to treat.

Here at United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) we have a long legacy of supporting the survivors of cancer and many other conditions so that they can have best quality of life possible. If your cancer requires a life-saving ostomy surgery remember-you are not alone. 725,000- 1 million people in the U.S. of all ages and backgrounds live with an ostomy.

Every individual person’s disease treatment is unique but ostomy surgery for colorectal cancer may mean a temporary ileostomy (from the small intestine) or colostomy (large intestine). This may be required to give a portion of the bowel a chance to rest and heal. When healing has occurred, the colostomy can often be reversed and normal bowel function restored.  It’s important to know that not everyone with an ostomy will be a candidate for a reversal operation. A permanent colostomy may be required when a disease affects the end part of the colon or rectum.

We have new Living with a Colostomy guide and ileostomy guide to help you learn as much as possible before or after you have this life changing surgery.

It’s especially important to connect with one of hundreds of  UOAA Affiliated Ostomy Support Groups in the U.S. before, or shortly after, your surgery. Peer support and preparation can put you on the path to success in what may be a challenging time both emotionally and physically.  Ask if the hospital has a certified ostomy nurse and insist on having your stoma placement marked before surgery. These and other self-advocacy tools are paramount and outlined in our Ostomy Patient Bill of Rights.

You may feel too overwhelmed as you are discharged at the hospital to fully understand ostomy pouching systems and accessories and lifestyle considerations. If you have a  medical question contact your doctor or nurse, but if you have a quality of life question-UOAA resources here at ostomy.org and peers at UOAA Affiliated Support Groups likely have the answers.

It’s important to learn the facts about living with an ostomy. After the healing period outlined by your surgeon you can swim, bathe, be intimate, travel, and embrace a new normal life. After some trial and error, you may also eat most of the foods you have been able to eat in the past. Education is key to battling misinformation.

Unfortunately misinformation and stigmas surrounding both ostomy surgery and colorectal cancer affect the number of people getting screened or getting the medical treatment they need.  Let’s work together to educate, advocate and support survivors.

 

Cheryl Ory is a colorectal cancer survivor who received a permanent colostomy in 2008. Cheryl is a Registered Nurse who has had a passion for volunteering with the ostomy community ever since and first joined UOAA’s Board of Directors in 2015. She now holds the position of President.

 

 

 

Micheal’s Urostomy Story

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Bladder Cancer at Age 40 and the Path to Recovery

By Micheal Heath Waid

I noticed the faint pink color in my urine in November of 2018. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, but I mentioned it to my husband and he, being a nurse, suggested I see my General Practitioner immediately.

I made the appointment to see her. Assuming a UTI, she blamed me for “wearing dirty underwear” because it’s unusual for men to acquire that sort of infection. She tested me for an infection and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. Offended by her comments, I didn’t say much else. I took the medication and didn’t see the pink again. I assumed everything to be alright.

But then I saw pink urine reappear in August of 2019. I went back to my GP. Less snarky this time, she advanced a referral to the Urologist. The normal scans followed and discovered an anomaly in my bladder. A later cystoscopy confirmed two smallish tumors. The next parts of my journey are fairly standard. A Transurethral Resection of the Bladder Tumor followed the cystoscopy. The pathology from which confirmed muscle-invasive bladder cancer, Stage II.

Micheal with his husband James, a nurse, who encouraged him to see a doctor at the onset of his bladder cancer symptoms.

I had not heard many cancer survival stories. I spent a few days being completely devastated by the news, but fairly quickly something shifted me into business mode. I spoke with the Urologist who recommended chemotherapy followed by bladder removal. He explained the surgical options. He also explained that if I chose to not have the surgery that this cancer would ultimately result in my death.

Hearing that is not easy, but this decision was the easiest part of this entire experience. I elected to go through with the Radical Cystectomy to remove my bladder, prostate, seminal vesicles, and pelvic lymph nodes. I also elected, upon his recommendation, the neobladder option of urinary diversion. This Urologist would perform the surgery.

Port placement and chemotherapy next. Methotrexate, Vinblastin, Doxorubicin, and Cisplatin were the drug therapies the Oncologist felt would give me the best outcome. There were no illusions that chemotherapy would be the cure. Instead, they were used to increase my chances of survival post-surgery.

This Oncologist and the infusion nurses are the best medical professionals I have come across to date. The standard of care for chemotherapy recipients is off the charts here – which is wonderful because the chemotherapy portion of this trial is the worst experience I’ve ever endured. Trying to work through my chemotherapy proved much harder than I predicted, and I basically failed in that. I felt horribly sick all the time. I slept fourteen hours a day. By the end of my infusions, outside of the usual side effects of the drugs, I had developed several mental associations and the thought of certain mundane things made me feel sick. The thought of putting ice in my mouth made me sick. Receiving fluids to stave off dehydration made me sick. I could taste everything they injected into me. Luckily I only received four infusions, but I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

Surgery came about five weeks after chemotherapy ended. This gave me enough time to get some strength back. I still didn’t really have my hair back, but the beginning stages were sprouting.

This is where my fairly standard journey shifted. My surgery did not go as planned. I went under assuming I’d wake up with a neobladder, but instead I woke up with a urostomy.

My surgeon encountered complications in my abdomen that left him unable to create the neobladder. He consulted with my husband and they decided to go with our agreed-upon Plan B, the urostomy. The surgery took twice as long as planned, and according to my surgeon he was barely able to complete the urostomy because my blood vessels are “too short”. I’ve never thought of any part of my body as petite before.

I’m open about my circumstance and have realized that while bladder cancer is one of the most common cancers in the world, most people have no idea what this is all about

Post-surgery, I experienced a kind of reaction that cannot be fully explained. My kidneys were not functioning properly. My output was incredibly dark. So dark that they called in a Nephrologist for advice. My surgical team blames a drug called Toradol for the reaction while others blame the lengthened surgical process. I’m not really sure of the culprit but I am sure that I have permanent kidney damage from that surgery. The Nephrologist got me back on track quickly though.

This led to an extended stay in the hospital. Seven days total with intense back pain and lackluster care. I know that urostomies are not very common, but the nurses I encountered had very little exposure. One nurse throughout the week really knew how to apply the set up. It leaked a lot while in the hospital.
An ostomy nurse did visit me a little bit. I feared anyone touching my incision or my new stoma and couldn’t stop convulsing every time she tried to touch my abdomen. I know it frustrated her but it felt uncontrollable. She eventually quit coming by. They put us in touch with the major urostomy supply manufacturers so that we could begin ordering samples and from then we were on our own to figure out what worked. I haven’t seen an ostomy nurse since.

Recovery felt long. Six weeks away from work to heal. Moving was a challenge. Trying to sort out how to keep my urostomy from leaking challenged us. In the follow-up pathology from my surgery they also discovered that I had a second primary cancer in my prostate. Lucky to have had that removed as well.

It’s been a little over two years since my surgery and I’m doing well. I’ve sampled different supplies, and tried different ways to apply them, some successful and some not.

When I experience a leak I try to laugh about it. I am only 43 now with this permanent urostomy and I can’t spend the rest of my life being miserable. I choose to laugh when I pee on myself. Some times are harder than others, but overall I am pretty successful. I’m open about my circumstance and have realized that while bladder cancer is one of the most common cancers in the world, most people have no idea what this is all about. Luckily I’ve only encountered incredibly caring and receptive people.

Dave Wolffe’s Story

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Excerpt from the story One Man’s Journey From Bladder Cancer

The day for my fourth cystoscopy had finally arrived. My doctor smiled and asked if I was ready for this exam. With a nod from me, turned off the lights, and guided the instrument into my body. He reiterated that there were cells in my bladder. I felt a large lump in my throat, and my face began to flush. Because these cells had been so aggressive and returned after the three previous treatments, there were no additional medications that could be used. He explained there were several other choices: (1) do nothing, (2) having a neo-bladder constructed, and (3) urostomy surgery. We would discuss these options in a few weeks.

Note: Each person is unique, and so are the methods used to treat this cancer.

An appointment was made for this consultation, and within two weeks I would see my doctor. In the interim, I had given careful thought to all three options. Doing nothing could be taking a huge risk. If the cells should travel into the muscles of the bladder, my life would definitely be in jeopardy. There was a chance these cells might metastasize to other organs of my body. We could wait and see if they did travel. However, this was not a chance I wanted to take. A neo-bladder, created from my intestines, would allow me to still urinate through my penis, but required much effort to adjust to, and a longer recovery time. It also brought with it the possibility of incontinence, or not working properly, necessitating additional surgery. The neo-bladder is also a relatively new form of treatment that many urologists choose not to use.

My final option was to have my bladder and prostate gland removed surgically. Compared to the construction of a neo-bladder, the recovery time was shorter. It had been proven to be successful in eliminating cancer and allowing patients to resume normal lives. This return to normalcy would occur after an initial adjustment period when the patient learns how to use and care for the Ostomy Pouch. Over time this would become routine.

After more consultation… My faith and confidence in my physician and in my decision to receive “external plumbing” (the ostomy pouch), gave me peace of mind up to the day of surgery.

Road to Recovery

My hospitalization would soon be terminating. However, before leaving I insisted on seeing the Ostomy Clinical Nurse Specialist (CNS) making sure that I felt confident applying and removing my ostomy pouch. Even though the hospital wanted to discharge me, I was persistent. Managing my ostomy pouch will be a lifelong endeavor. The CNS reviewed the process of changing the pouch and demonstrated it several times. Her patience, warm smile and reassurance made me feel capable of handling this task on my own and confident to be discharged from the hospital. (Keep in mind that it is a patient’s right to determine whether or not he/she is ready to leave the hospital)

On My Own

After then spending time in a rehabilitation facility It was great to finally be home, and feel independent. As a widower, I was fortunate enough to have met a woman whose companionship helped to avoid a great deal of loneliness. Had she not been there, returning to my empty house would have heightened my feeling of isolation. Thinking back, yes, I certainly could have managed by myself. However, her presence made my transition from the hospital, rehabilitation facility, to home that much easier. Many patients who are single, or don’t have family/friends to support them when returning home, can find this a mixed blessing. They may feel independent, yet experience loneliness. Anxiety may occur over fear they may lack the ability to manage by themselves. The services of a visiting nurse, physical/occupational therapist, or a mental health professional can be provided to alleviate these concerns. The availability of these services were discussed during my exit conference from the rehabilitation center.

Adjustments To Be Made

Anxiety arose as I continued on my journey to recovery. The first of these emotional hurdles, especially for newbies is attaching an ostomy bag securely, preventing leakage. Having a spare pouch and supplies, along with a change of clothes, solves this concern. My medical supplier provided a small pouch to carry these items. Initially, I had many questions about the ostomy pouch. However, when various concerns arose, (getting this device on properly, leaks, or supplies), my nurse responded to these questions promptly and gave me the reassurance I needed. Trust me, I continued to have questions for months after my surgery. By that time I built up enough confidence in using this device, and it became more routine. Ostomy nurses serve as a great resource. They also recommended a monthly support group. Knowing what others have gone through, and how they dealt with their post-surgical life, can be very helpful.

Thanks to my Ostomy Clinical Nurse Specialist (CNS), two additional Leak Prevention Supplies (LPS) were suggested: (1) A belt attaching to both sides of the bag to hold the wafer and pouch more securely in place, and (2) A U-shaped elastic barrier fitting around the bottom of the adhesive which attaches to your body and wafer. These items can be requested from your medical supplier, and may help give some peace of mind. These remedies have worked for me. Timing for emptying the pouch is another adjustment. This usually occurs when the bag is 1/3 to 1/2 full. For me, this point is reached hourly, possibly because my kidneys are located in the front of my body. For others, this may occur up to 2 1/2 hours. However, empty points are individualized.

Timing this process initially limited me from going places beyond one hour. For many of us, noting the location of bathrooms is something we typically make prior to leaving for a destination. Even before surgery, I spotted the location of the bathrooms. If you think about it, for many people who still have their bladder, nature calls them frequently. Whenever this need arises, they go on “bathroom alert.” We don’t have this urgency or stress of finding a bathroom as they do. We can anticipate when to empty our pouch and can plan our pit stops in advance. This is a positive of having an ostomy pouch. Think about that.

Ways to judge the timing of emptying the pouch also become routine. Checking your watch, cell phone, or clock helps the timing factor. Generally, If I were to go to a restaurant, at most, twenty minutes away from home, I’m able to wait until I have eaten my meal before emptying my bag. For others, gauging the timing may involve the length of events (movies, shows, etc.) or the time it takes to reach a destination. It’s an awareness that you will develop. During your recovery period, fatigue could be an issue. Initially, I tried to do too much, too soon. Don’t fight this feeling. You don’t have to prove anything to yourself or anyone else, about how well you are recovering. Listen to your body. If it’s telling you to rest, do that. Remember, the fatigue lessens over time, and your strength does return. For me, it took approximately four months.

Don’t Try to push yourself. If you do you might become frustrated and that doesn’t help. In fact it may extend your recovery time.

Pouch Changing 101

I had devised my own schedule for changing the ostomy pouch — every Friday and Monday. A rule of thumb is to change it every three-four days. You will decide what days, how often, as well as choosing a medical supplier that offers products that best suits your needs. After leaving rehab, one company had offered supplies to me. If you, like me, prefer their products, then stick with them. If not, check other distributors and request samples from them. Many people experiment with several companies before finding the products that work for them.

After experiencing a few glitches, (ie; tearing a pouch, or unable to remove the protective piece covering the wafer),you realize some possibly could be avoided in the future. Being aware of these mishaps helps to avoid future problems, and will make the process of changing your bag go more smoothly. In addition, once you have repeatedly gone through this part of your “life without a bladder” it doesn’t require too much thinking or time. Perhaps this thought may be difficult to believe, but it does happen.

Don’t get bent out of shape when things don’t go as planned. Use these experiences as problems to be solved.

You may find other obstacles to overcome. The good news, once these challenges are met and conquered, they make this part of your life more tolerable. It may seem as though you’ll never feel comfortable. The more you are aware of this process, and follow it repeatedly, the easier it is to make the required adjustments. Those who have traveled along this path can be very helpful. They have been for me. The more information you receive, the less stress you will experience.

Be patient with yourself don’t hesitate to ask any questions you may have.

Yes, there are adjustments to make and new roads to travel. Through knowledge gained from resources, along with your own experiences, make this continuing journey just another routine part of your life. However, it takes time and effort. HAVE PATIENCE!!

It has been several years since my surgery. I have learned a lot, and have made adjustments to my life. You can reach this point as well.

YES, THIS IS SOMETHING YOU NEVER EXPECTED. YES, THERE ARE ADJUSTMENTS YOU WILL NEED TO MAKE. YES, THIS PROCESS TAKES TIME. YES, THIS WILL BECOME ANOTHER ROUTINE PART OF YOUR LIFE.

A Tribute to a Real Life Hero

By Ellyn Mantell

The untimely, shocking and terribly sad death of Chadwick Boseman added to the pall in the air last Saturday morning. I looked at my CNN feed on my desktop with my mouth agape. How could it be that such a beautiful and talented man could die so young? And what evil transgressor claimed his life? Like so many, I admired his work for the past few years. He broke my heart portraying the challenging life of one of my husband Bruce’s baseball icons, Jackie Robinson in the movie 42. He played him with bravery, grit and quiet determination and I immediately fell in love with him! As the expression goes, “he had me with his smile,” when he was treated fairly. Sadly, Jackie Robinson was mistreated by the very society that valued him as a ball player. Chadwick Boseman got that, and made us all get it! And in the movie Get on Up, he portrayed James Brown, showing his incredible versatility, as well.

Black Panther, although I assumed would not be my jam, as the kids would say, turned out to be fantastic, and once again, Chadwick carried the film. He was such a likable actor, and his warmth and dignity always came through.  And I felt the same warmth and dignity from him in Da 5 Bloods, as he captivated and commandeered the screen.

In real life, where there were no cameras, Chadwick Boseman was a true, real-life hero. Apparently, eschewing publicity and accolades, he visited sick children and became someone in whom they could trust. Little did any of them, or us, know what was happening in his own life.

Suffering for 4 years with colon cancer, he handled every series of meds, chemotherapy and surgeries privately and quietly. Bulking up or slimming down for a role in a movie, he did it with little fanfare, and certainly, no hint of what his body was enduring over the grueling months and months of treatment. His is truly not a story of how he died, but of how he lived.

However, in his death, there is a message for all of us. Chadwick was 43 years young when he succumbed to this horrible disease. We think of colon cancer as an older person’s disease, but clearly, it is not, and there are many younger with it. The statistics also say that black and brown young people are more vulnerable. Let this be a warning for all…get tested! A colonoscopy isn’t fun, but it is imperative. It isn’t the first thing people want to do during the pandemic, but it is not to be ignored. A test widely available, and not to be missed, could not only save your life, but save the demanding treatments that our poor hero endured. I have read he had a temporary ostomy, which was reversed, and we will probably never know if that is true. It doesn’t matter…in his usual way, our hero drew attention to the deadly disease that needs to be identified and treated early for best chance of survival.

Deanna Brown-Thomas, daughter of the late James Brown said Chadwick visited before filming Get on Up, and that he was “the epitome of Black Elegance.” May I take that comment one step further? I would like to point out that Chadwick Boseman was the epitome of Human Elegance, a man in full, to be appreciated, to be admired, to be emulated, and a leader for us all.

 

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. You can follow her personal blog at morethanmyostomy

Annemarie Finn’s Story

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Bladder cancer and urostomy surgery do not stop Annemarie from living her best life.

I am a bag lady. I am highly educated and employed, yet carry a bag wherever I go. I don’t leave home without it. Because of bladder cancer, I have a urostomy. Like many other women, it took some time for my diagnosis. At 57, many of the symptoms I experienced were attributed to my age: menopause, UTIs, kidney stones, fibroids, etc. Thanks to the fibroids, I was scheduled for an ultrasound. It was my gynecologist who found the bladder tumor. She referred me to a urologist. In fact, she insisted. Her office called to make sure I followed through. I met that week with a local urologist. He did a scope. I saw him look at the nurse, concern written on both their faces. He started talking about surgery and apologizing for the diagnosis. In my naivete’, I had gone to the appointment by myself. I don’t remember him even saying the words, but I had bladder cancer.

Scans and a transurethral resection of a bladder tumor (TURBT) were scheduled for the following week. Usually an outpatient procedure, I was in the hospital for 4 days due to heavy bleeding after the TURBT. The tumor was large and the doctor couldn’t get it all but he thought it had penetrated the muscle. Unfortunately, the pathology was inconclusive so he did another TURBT the following week. The outcomes were exactly the same so we both decided my best chances were for a second opinion at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston. Throughout our discussions, he explained what my future might entail. It looked likely that they were going to have to remove the bladder and I would either have a new “bladder” or a bag. Quite honestly, I had no idea what it entailed, but I was horrified.

Dana-Farber is an amazing place. I had a whole team in place: a medical oncologist, an oncology urologist, a nephrologist, among others. The plan was an MRI to confirm the tumor’s pathology, a nephrostomy tube, chemotherapy and, if the cancer had not spread, a radical cystectomy. If it had spread, I would not need surgery but would be eligible for palliative care. Who would have thought surgery is the best case scenario. Due to claustrophobia, and despite anesthesia and Ativan, I moved so the MRI was inconclusive. I needed another TURBT. Thanks to my new amazing surgeon, the tumor was removed and the passage to my kidney was cleared. The pathology of the tumor showed no spread to the muscle and an ultrasound showed no more kidney hydronephrosis. Even better, I would no longer require chemotherapy. I did try immunotherapy with BCG but it did not work. The cancer was aggressive so we had to treat it aggressively. My radical cystectomy was scheduled for January 25, 2019.

It took me a long time to get there. I even asked what would happen if I did not receive the surgery. I would be dead in a year.

Wow, that was sobering. Because of the proximity of the tumor, I did not qualify for a neobladder. I would have to have a urostomy. Every time I talked about it, or even thought about it, I cried. I felt like I was going to be a freak. I offered my husband a divorce if he wanted one. I was devastated and frightened. I have learned that fear of the unknown and our imaginations are far worse than the reality. While so much of what had happened to me was out of my control, I did have control over one thing: HOW I handled everything. I decided knowledge was power. I was fortunate. My hospital had a class for urostomy candidates. For the first time, I was able to see an actual urostomy pouch. I was given hands-on instruction on how to change a bag. I met ostomy nurses (the best people in the world!) who would be helping me.

I decided I would be the one to handle my changes, right from the start. I would take control.

My surgery lasted 7 hours. I needed a transfusion but things went well otherwise. The surgery was not easy. People have described it as feeling like you were hit by a bus. I never really had any pain. It was easily managed with Tylenol. However, I was so weak. I eventually needed an iron transfusion. The one thing I wish I had gotten for my return home was a shower chair. Showers were the worst for me. It took me two months to feel more like myself and another month before I felt ready to return to work. I also cannot say enough about getting a good ostomy nurse. I have been described as a delicate flower (surprising to those who know me). I have very sensitive skin. The nurse was a Godsend to me in trying to manage all of my skin issues. After my visiting nurse visits ended, I continued to see the ostomy nurses at the hospital where I had my surgery. It took a year but, through trial and error, I finally have gotten a handle on things.

I had a few leaks. They were usually caused by user error. They were not the huge floods I expected. Honestly, none of this was as awful as I expected. So many people said this would be my “new normal”. I can’t stand that term. I call it my new reality. There isn’t anything normal about having a urostomy. However, it is very doable. I now wear two-piece bathing suits. I didn’t before. I am wearing the same clothes as I did before. I can kayak, hike, ride my bike, swim for hours, anything I did before. I was here for the birth of my first grandchild. I am back to work, a job that I love. I am not shy about talking about my bag to others. It is not a secret. In fact, I am kind of proud of it. I am alive and life is good.

Liz Hiles’ Story

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I  had been increasingly struggling with symptoms for over two years with medical personnel brushing me off because I did not fit the norms for bladder cancer and didn’t check off enough risk factors for it. By the time of diagnosis, at the age of forty, I was perpetually in pain and discomfort, I was periodically urinating blood clots and I was unable to sleep through the night due to the pain and frequent urination. I felt like I spent most of my time and energy running to the restroom. I even had one ED physician laugh at me and assume that I didn’t know my own body well enough to know whether I was urinating blood clots or having issues with my menstruation cycle.

I had my urostomy surgery on September 23, 2016 after receiving a bladder cancer diagnosis on August 12, 2016. I had Stage IV Bladder Cancer with a T4, muscle-invasive tumor.

Having my surgery has allowed me to get back to my own life and start living again…mostly without pain. I’m able to sleep through the night again and I do not spend most of my time running to the restroom.

I have been working in a pediatric GI office since 2012, so not only was I aware of ostomies and that a person could live a long, productive, great-quality life with an ostomy, I also had my very own personal ostomy support crew. My coworkers are amazing and have been so supportive through everything…several nurses have even given me ostomy/stoma care tips and helped me address potential concerns. One nurse, a true-blue friend, even helped me change my bag a couple of times when I first had my surgery and was in rehab!

Finding Support

During my chemo treatments, I first started looking at online resources and started reaching out. I remembered that my WOCN told me there was an active local ostomy support group. It wasn’t until November 2017 that I was physically able to make any meetings in person.

Encountering the Greater Cincinnati Ostomy Association GCOA was the best connection I could have made post-everything. I originally tried to connect with people through the American Cancer Society and the Cancer Support Community, but bladder cancer is sort of a red-headed stepchild of the cancer community. It affects many on a number of levels, but NO ONE talks about. Not everyone diagnosed with bladder cancer has to go through the extreme treatment measures I did, so there are varying experiences within the diagnosis. However, going to the local cancer-focused groups was very frustrating and discouraging for me as most of the people I met there were breast cancer survivors whose experiences did not have any similarities to my own. There were no local bladder cancer-specific groups in my area and there still are not.

When I finally connected with UOAA/GCOA, I found more understanding, empathy, compassion, and comradery in the first meeting than I had in several with the cancer organizations. People definitely made the difference. Online support was okay, but even there I was sometimes frustrated with the set up because it too easily turns into a forum for sharing memes and complaining about their situations. There’s not a lot of educational conversations or intellectual discussions about what I was experiencing, which was something I was craving.

Becoming Active Again

I am still experiencing neuropathy in my feet and ankles as a side effect of the chemo treatments that I will probably deal with for life and I am still working on getting my strength and energy back, but I am gradually reclaiming everything that I did before. I fell shortly after my last chemo treatment and spent about 3 weeks in the hospital/rehab before getting discharged on a Friday and returning to work the following Monday because I had exhausted all of my medical leave and it was either return to work or lose my job. I did not want to deal with the stress of job hunting after all I had been through and going on disability indefinitely was a luxury that I could not afford, so I returned to work completely bald and using a walker. The first day back, I could barely make it from the front door to my office chair. Still, returning to work was one of the best things for me because it forced me to have to rebuild my strength and be active.

I now work 40+ hours a week again with a team I love supporting and I volunteer with the GCOA and Hughes High School, my alma mater, as much as I can. I took over the presidency of the GCOA back in January. I still live alone on the 2nd floor of my quaint, inner-city, 2-bedroom apartment. I enjoy spending time with friends and extended family. Last May, I rented a car and went on a road trip by myself to Columbus, OH to participate in the BCAN Walk to End Bladder Cancer and catch up with some amazing people that I have in my life. I will be taking a plane and train trip in August to attend the UOAA National Conference and go on vacation in upstate New York afterward. I am finally able to start walking and being a bit more active again and have started trying to figure out how to do some of the higher energy things I used to do (like dancing and workout videos) despite the neuropathy, which sometimes makes it hard for me to coordinate my feet. It’s all a process though and I try to take it one day at a time. I’m hoping to be able to take a trip to Argentina in 2020…your attitude and determination are what makes the difference and I’m determined to accomplish things that I have always wanted to do despite the obstacles I’ve had in my past.

Raising Awareness

Both bladder cancer and urostomies are extremely rare and there are huge discrepancies in diagnosis and treatment of bladder cancer, especially with women and minorities. It has been really important to me to bring awareness to both issues because I truly believe that lives can not only be improved, but saved by advocating, educating and raising awareness of bladder cancer and ostomies. So many people immediately think that having your bladder or part of your colon is going to end life as they know it. In part, they are correct, but not in the way that most people think at first thought. People with ostomies can live long, productive lives and be amazing leaders in their communities…just like anyone else. Just because you will always have a medical condition that requires the use of medical equipment does not mean that your life is over. It is different, that’s all. We’re all different though, having an ostomy just makes you extra special.

When my urology oncology surgeon told me that he wanted to remove my bladder (along with various other abdominal parts), I didn’t hesitate at all and said, “Okay. So what’s next?” I knew that my life would be over if I didn’t get an ostomy and I knew that my life would not be over with an ostomy. It was one of the easiest medical decisions I have ever made. He could have asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee it was that easy. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t have struggles and the journey wasn’t a challenge because I did and it was, but I am grateful that I had a choice of life or death and that I was able to choose life so I could get on with mine. Raising awareness for bladder cancer and ostomy awareness means that I could help someone make that life-saving decision that much more quickly and that they would be able to move onto healing and gratitude that much more quickly, instead of being bitter, pissed and depressed over losing a non-essential piece of themselves.

I have raised money, made social media posts, written articles, blog, had discussions, and encouraged others to go outside of their comfort zone to seek support. Additionally, I fairly quickly began being more involved with my local ASG and am committed to thinking outside the box and expanding opportunities to reach people where they are at and, hopefully, encouraging to become/remain involved and to share their own stories.

Staying Positive

I’m alive! I’m not in constant pain and discomfort. I can sleep through the night and not be up every 10 minutes to go the bathroom. I don’t have to do that “gotta go” dance while standing in line for the ladies’ room. I can hook up to my Foley for long trips or binge-watching and not have to move for hours. My bladder does not interrupt me in the middle of the best scenes when I go to the theater. I’m able to concentrate again. I can relieve myself while standing up or writing my name in the snow (gotta see a little humor in the situation)!

My advice is to just focus on living your life. The closer you get to doing everything you did before, the more positive the picture of life with an ostomy becomes. Yes, you can live without those parts and you can still be an active person. Your life and your dreams are still unlimited…it just might take a little extra preparation and planning, depending on your personal diagnosis and situation, but real life and real dreams take hard work, no matter who you are! You have to work for the things in life that you want anyway…no matter who you are or what your circumstance is, but the harder you have to work for something, the more worthwhile, valuable and meaningful it is to you. Only you can make the decision on how meaningful you want your journey to be though.

Overcoming Challenges

Most of my challenges are from my cancer treatments and not from having an ostomy. Still, bending and twisting are sometimes challenges. I do have a hernia that I way too quickly achieved by sneezing and, although it does not typically bother me, it is something to keep in consideration when I am trying new movements or lifting heavier objects. I have neuropathy and slight hearing loss as side effects of my chemo treatments and those are more annoying and challenging than my ostomy issues. Every once in a while, I have a leak, but I generally carry at least a few supplies with me so I just try to catch it quickly, change and move on. I’m really fortunate to have amazing friends, family & coworkers who are really understanding and supportive when these things happen and they don’t bat an eye when I need to deal with these things. Overall, I’ve pretty much learned to have a new definition of “normal” and I take things day by day and slow down when I need to and, most of all, when new things come up, I TRY instead of just giving in.

Advice for those who may need ostomy surgery?

Don’t think twice! No, it isn’t always easy and it isn’t always an easy choice. Sometimes, it’s all very hard. Yes, life will be different, but, in the long run, it’ll be worth it and at least you will still have a life to live.  If you give the ostomy and yourself a chance, having an ostomy will ultimately give you a better quality of life. Also, don’t be afraid to reach out to others who have had similar experiences…that’s how you get through the challenging moments, days, and weeks. Also, I feel like it is critical to share your own story in some way, shape or form. Not only does it help others get through their situations, but it is a great way for you to heal and get through your own story. Sharing your story is a way of honoring yourself and allowing you to shed light on your own strength because many times you don’t realize just how strong you are. Martin Luther King, Jr said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Keeping your story bottled up inside and not even sharing it with the people you love is detrimental to your journey. You matter and so does your story, so share it.

Making a Difference

Last year, I hosted a virtual Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k walk locally and I had 6 humans and a canine share in a beautiful day at a local park. It was great to share my story with people who hadn’t heard about it before while walking. Prior to my own surgery, my team at work and I would wear blue and green on Ostomy Awareness Day in support of the patients and families we care for.

I have grown up participating in similar events and have always found them inspiring and empowering. This year, we hope to have even more participation and invite everyone to meet at a group meal afterward. I will be attending my first UOAA National Conference in August and I’m excited to make new connections and learn more information that will enable me to assist others in getting back into life after receiving an ostomy. I would like to see others get involved in these events because it gives them connections, information, support and empowerment. There is no substitute for making connections in real life with people who have tackled the same problems, fought similar battles, and, most of all, WON. There is strength in numbers and we are all stronger together.

Robert Harrion’s Story

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About 4 years ago, I awoke to the alarm on my cell phone, and for some reason it seemed to be extra loud this time. I had probably only slept for about 2 hours, but still, I anxiously jumped out of bed with a nervous sense of excitement. Today was the day that would forever change the path of my life. Today was the day that I was headed to the Mayo Clinic Hospital in Phoenix Arizona to have an extremely risky abdominal cancer surgery with no real guarantees that I would even survive it. I had no idea that today was the day that would begin the toughest fight of my life.

You see, at the age of 51, I was diagnosed with “Pseudomyxoma Peritonei secondary to Well-Differentiated Mucinous Adenocarcinoma of the Appendix”. Ultimately this means that years ago, a cluster of cancerous cells had formed in my appendix which caused it to eventually explode. Subsequent to this painful event, the cancerous cells spread themselves throughout my abdominal cavity attaching and growing on the exterior of several organs and producing a considerable amount of ascites fluid. My surgeon explained to me that my condition was extremely rare, and risky with maybe a 30% chance of survival. He agreed to perform the surgery, but looked me in the eyes and said only if I will agree to do my part and be willing to fight for my life!

After the twelve and a half hour long surgery, I woke up to my family hovering over me, and praying for strength and healing. As I became more aware of where I was, I began to notice the multiple tubes, cords and electronic devices attached to me. The doctors and nurses were constantly coming in to check on me, making adjustments to my I.V., monitoring my pain level, and recording my vital signs. A little later, I was paid a visit by my surgeon and he introduced me to someone referred to as my ostomy nurse. I didn’t even realize that I had this bag attached to my abdomen until she asked for my permission to inspect it. Prior to the surgery, I remember my surgeon explaining to me and my wife that an ostomy bag was a possibility, but this was the least of my concerns and I didn’t really comprehend what that actually meant. Along with a couple of other organs, my colon was completely removed and I now had to embrace life with an ileostomy.

Robert at the Arizona Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k, “the sense of family, acceptance and understanding at this event provided much needed encouragement.”

 

For the first year, I dealt with it as best as I could, but in the back of my mind I believed that soon, I would be able to have the reversal surgery and no longer have to deal with an ostomy. As I was approaching the one year anniversary of becoming an ostomate, on Facebook I came in contact with a beautiful soul by the name of Jearlean Taylor. You have probably heard of her, and know that she has been a double ostomate since early childhood. We chatted for a while, and after a detailed discussion, I was convinced that having an ostomy wasn’t so bad. A few days later, I sat down with my surgeon to discuss the possibility of the reversal surgery, and we concluded that in my case, I would actually enjoy a better quality of life by keeping my ileostomy, which now has been named Paco.

Now that the decision had been made to keep Paco, I began to research ostomies and discovered the United Ostomy Associations of America. Come to find out, they were having an ostomy conference in California the very next month, so I

Robert at UOAA’s National Conference where he discovered he was welcomed into the “ostomy family.”

booked it, and made my way to Cali. Not really knowing what to expect, I was pleasantly surprised and almost overwhelmed with gratitude as I was so warmly embraced into the ostomate family. I learned so much about ostomies, and the stories shared by other ostomates really inspired me and gave me the courage to now tell my story. Last year, I finally felt I was physically strong enough to participate by walking in the Run For Resilience Ostomy 5K in Mesa, Arizona. Again, the sense of family, acceptance and understanding at this event provided much-needed encouragement.

 

I am inspired to inspire others by publicly sharing my journey of conquering cancer and living with an ostomy. Through music, speaking and near the completion of my first book, I am telling it all so that others will realize that life experiences will ultimately make you, and not break you. I have come to the realization that my ileostomy has not only changed my way of life but has actually contributed to saving my life. I am forever grateful…

“It’s easy to say what you’re willing to die for, but there is freedom in knowing what you’re willing to live for”.

–Robert Harrion

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March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month

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UOAA Supports the Survivors of Colorectal Cancer

 

Colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer diagnosis among men and women combined in the United States. There is currently no cure, but it’s 90 percent treatable if caught early with a screening. American Cancer Society estimates there will be over 140,000 new cases and over 50,000 deaths this year.

Recent research has confirmed what many have long suspected–more young people are dying of colorectal cancer. Ten percent of all new colorectal cancer patients are under the age of 50 and are too often misdiagnosed.

People with other bowel diseases have an increased risk for colorectal cancer. This includes ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease, pre-cancerous polyps, and hereditary syndromes such as familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP) or hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer (HNPCC), or Lynch syndrome.

If you need to have lifesaving ostomy surgery because of colorectal cancer or any other reason, education and peer-support is available from the approximately 300 affiliated support groups of United Ostomy Associations of America. Ostomy patients of all ages and their families, friends and caregivers are welcome. Find a meeting near you today. You are not alone.

UOAA is proud to be a member organization of the National Colorectal Cancer Roundtable (NCCRT). The NCCRT is a collaborative partnership with more than 100 member organizations across the nation, committed to taking action in the screening, prevention, and early detection of colorectal cancer.