Tag Archive for: healing

The Impact of Advocacy: Healing Yourself and Uplifting Others

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By Nicole Richards

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal someone else.” – Iyanla Vanzant

I believe this quote accurately describes the importance advocacy is to the ostomy community. Living with an ostomy is a true test to one’s physical and emotional health. Raising awareness is sharing our own personal journey of those physical and emotional experiences with others. It’s only with this vulnerable truth, that we allow other ostomates to normalize their situation. Through advocacy we not only work on our own healing journey, but we inspire and support others on theirs.

This past summer I answered the call to take action from UOAA, and I filed a proclamation request with my state’s Governor for Ostomy Awareness Day. While writing the request I opened myself up to a very vulnerable part of my past that I had stuffed away and never fully processed. More specifically, writing the proclamation request made me realize just how much I minimized my own experience of what life was like pre-ostomy. Another realization I had was that I needed to be more compassionate and forgiving of myself for all that I had been through during that time. This was such an “ah ha” moment for me. I am very grateful for the opportunity I had to advocate and share my story. Had I not have taken the time to revisit the years of my life leading up to ostomy surgery I may not have had the opportunity to heal that part of my past.

The Power of Your Story

It is not only healing for ourselves; it is validating for others who are going through similar struggles. Telling your own personal story helps other ostomates feel less lonely on their ostomy journey; it creates connection and community. Talking about your experiences is not just an act of self-care but an act of service to others.

We experience life differently from one another. My perspective and experience could be completely opposite than that of the next person. With that being said, we tend to resonate with people whose journey is similar. Additionally, many of us not only have an ostomy, but we have an underlying health condition that brought us to the point of needing ostomy surgery. The fact that there are numerous reasons a person might need an ostomy makes us such a diverse group of people. This is why your unique ostomy story matters so much.

These personal stories are more memorable than facts, so they are indispensable in advocacy efforts.

By listening to other people’s perspectives and experiences we create awareness and learn something we didn’t understand. Telling your story is not only important for healing of yourself and others, but ostomies carry many misconceptions. Unfortunately, those misconceptions lead to stigmas and barriers. Through advocacy and sharing our story we aid in the breakdown of those barriers and collectively shed light on the realities of living with an ostomy. Equally important when it comes to advocating on issues for the ostomy community, your voice matters! By telling your story, legislators and policy-makers hear how their constituents are affected. These personal stories are more memorable than facts, so they are indispensable in advocacy efforts.

Based off my interactions with the ostomy community, I can almost guarantee most of us are willing to go out of our way to provide support to one another. Furthermore, I believe most ostomates feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment by helping one another. We are strong and resilient beings who have so many stories and experiences to pass on that could deeply encourage and uplift another in the ostomy community, provide awareness to future ostomates and those struggling with their ostomy.

So, where are you in your healing journey?

I recently read a book called “You Can Heal Your Life” by Dolores Hay. She refers to starting the healing process by “cleaning your emotional closet.” You go in, you pick something up, you examine it, then you either store it away for later or you get rid of it. I love this analogy because it allows you to briefly examine the emotion and decide if now is the time to process and release it, or store it away for later when you feel strong enough to do so.

Are there parts of your ostomy story that have been stuffed away in your emotional closet? Are you ready to look at it so you too can get rid of it? Are you ready to impart some of those experiences that may help others and provide awareness? Maybe through advocacy you can find healing too.

My guess is that if you are an ostomate reading this, you have a story to tell. A personal journey someone else would love to hear, connect with, and find encouragement from. You may keep someone else from feeling alone in their ostomy journey. You just never know who needs to hear from you and your unique lived experience!

Editor’s note: If you are interested in getting more involved with UOAA and advocating for the ostomy community, join their Advocacy Network. Have an ostomy supply or care access issue? Your story matters. Contribute your story for national advocacy. Or you can share your ostomy story on UOAA’s Wall of Love!

LeeAnne Hayden’s Story

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It’s Ivan’s 4th Birthday!
Four years ago today my amazing doctors, Dr. Leslie Demars and Dr. Joga Ivatury removed a huge tumor out of my pelvis and I woke up ALIVE and in a colostomy which I named (Ivan) after Dr. Ivatury, for life.
The first thing I asked Dr. Ivatury when I woke up was “did we get the f#@%r?” He smiled and smiled and said yes.

The next thing I asked was “am I in a bag?” He reluctantly said “yes.” My reaction? “Ok now let’s get me out of here so we can go to California.” I was working on a Tyra Banks product line at the time and did not want to miss the opportunity.

I was not always so positive. When I found out I had cancer in 2015 and would possibly be in a colostomy bag for life, I was devastated, to the point where I told my doctor “do NOT put me in a bag” so many times that he had to yell at me and say I have been up nights thinking about your surgery, I have no intention of putting you in a bag HOWEVER my job is to SAVE YOUR LIFE. So well, he was right.

I had such a different view on life when I woke up. God left me here to do some work and I was not going to let HIM down by playing small. I was going to live my life HUGE and give back to this world as much as I can.

I did allow myself to have strong feelings and concerns. “What if it smells, or makes noises or someone bumps it?” I would cry after cancer, but life was not over yet. What am I supposed to learn from this lesson and from what I am going through? It took me a lot of work to get to be okay. We got this one life.

I got up and forced myself to get out anyway. It helped so much that my kids, parents, and sister along with my husband and friends were supportive of me along the way.

I wanted to get back to doing the things I had enjoyed before cancer. One love was competing in Fitness America and WBFF shows in 2010 and 2011, where I placed in the top five in one of the shows I did. I knew I needed to love my body again and decided to tell the world in a live video to let people know to love the body you were given.

LeeAnne Hayden competes with her colostomy pouch and all at the 2017 America Fitness weekend in Las Vegas.

I was talking with my husband and friends and said I think I want to compete with “Ivan.” The second it came out of my mouth everyone was so supportive. I was sponsored for my training, plane, suit, costume, all of it. When I got there after months of training I almost didn’t want to do it. However, I knew I couldn’t let my fear stop me, I had to show everyone what I preached. The costume was great. It was a pair of wings that I could open and expand. I was shaking when I took my first steps out on that stage, I took a deep breath and opened the wings, hit my pose and completely teared up when everyone in the audience stood up clapping, screaming and some of them were crying. (Gosh I am starting to cry writing this) It was the most surreal moment ever. I felt amazing and supported and forgot I even had Ivan while I hit all my posing and walked off the stage to my friends in the back screaming and hugging me. It is a moment I will never forget.

There is such a stigma to ostomies, I have heard stories of how people have given up their lives because they didn’t want to be in one. I think we all need to be more vocal about it. So many more people could be saved. Thank you to UOAA for what you do with ostomy awareness!

That’s the way I’ve spent these last four years and I can’t wait to see where my life goes from here! I want to bring everything I have personally been through to all of you so that you may grow and live the life you want and deserve! Huge thank you to my wonderful doctors, my amazing family, my friends, all of you, and especially to GOD for allowing me to remain.

Whatever you want to do in life hope you run for it.

 

LeeAnne Hayden blogs about her life here and produces the LeeAnne in the City Podcast.

Intestines Are Soooooo Overrated

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UOAA conference speaker strategically uses humor to help ostomy patients

By Ed Pfueller, UOAA

If you’re a patient of Janice Beitz, PhD, RN, CS, CNOR, CWOCN-AP, CRNP, APNC, ANEF, FNAP, FAAN,  she will likely look you in the eye and know when to employ humor and when not to. If you’re in a rut you may get an ostomy joke to break the ice. “You think this bag is full of crap? You should see my bother in law,” she once quipped, breaking down all barriers for a man struggling to adjust whose brother-in-law seemingly fit the description.

Dr. Janice Beitz is a longtime WOC Nurse and educator who will speak on the power of humor and hope in emotional healing after ostomy surgery.

Ostomy surgery and chronic illness is not a laughing matter, but how you handle it can be a key to your success. It does not seem to be a coincidence that some of the most well-adjusted ostomates tend to have a sense of humor. Humor can change a negative mindset for you and those around you.

Dr. Beitz has over 40 years of nursing experience in acute, sub-acute and outpatient care settings. She’s explored the science behind laughter and health in academia and has seen it in patient settings. She will be a featured speaker at UOAA’s National Conference in Philadelphia this August.

Her talk is entitled, Intestines Are Soooooo Overrated: Psychosocial/Physiological Issues For Ostomates. She’ll discuss the social, psychological and physical issues of having a fecal or urinary diversion. The session will describe the findings from scholarly work on these areas of interest. Strategies for ostomates to achieve a high quality of life including therapeutic use of humor will be emphasized.

Dr. Beitz also teaches the next generation of WOC Nurses as the director of the Rutgers University Camden Wound Ostomy Continence Nursing Education Program (WOCNEP). Students she has taken to visit the jovial and globetrotting members of the Ostomy Support Group of Philadelphia have left in shock. “They turn to me and say these people have traveled more and have a better life than I do!” Dr. Beitz said.

“They are seriously funny,” Dr. Beitz says of the Philadelphia group led by Stanley Cooper that is always laughing and living life to the fullest.

“She is committed to her students. She is committed to all WOC nurses, and she is committed to all patients that need a WOC nurse to ensure they receive the best possible care,” Stanley remarked.

“Janice loves to have a good laugh and will supply a good laugh when she can. When she spoke to our group, she started off with a funny cartoon from a newspaper that she projected on a screen.” Stanley.

“One thing she said to me after her appearance was that she always wanted to enter a room after being introduced to KC and the Sunshine Band singing Get Down Tonight. That is the type of good spirited, happy, energetic person that she is” Stanley said.

Emotional health will be touched upon in many other conference sessions as well. A session geared toward young adults will address body image and self-confidence with an ostomy. Relationships and sexuality sessions will often center on emotional health as well. Overcoming physical challenges often comes quicker than lingering emotional ones.

For those who have not had a UOAA Affiliated Support Group experience, the peer support at conference can provide a sense of camaraderie that gives an enlightening experience for the many who still struggle with the day-to-day challenges of living with an ostomy. Caregivers are also not forgotten at conference with a session on how to cope with caregiver stress.

UOAA’s vision is a society where people with ostomies and intestinal or urinary diversions are universally accepted and supported socially, economically, medically and psychologically. Connect with us locally, online or at conference and get on a positive path.

At the conference, perhaps we can arrange to turn up “Get Down Tonight” as we welcome Dr. Beitz to give us a laugh and hope about life with an ostomy.

Learning to Love Your Body – Stoma and All

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Following your ostomy surgery, you will no doubt have an adjustment period of figuring out your new routines and schedule. You will be learning about your appliance, how to use it, when to change it, and how it works. Although there may be frustrating and discouraging days, as you get the hang of your body and the newness of it all, you may also find yourself fascinated with your body’s adaptability. Some of the most resilient, inventive and strong people are ostomates who are changing the way people think by helping to reduce shame around ostomies as well as creating networks and communities to encourage and support others in similar situations.

Body Love

We live in a world where we are bombarded on a daily basis by media showing us advertisements of what beauty should be. The unreachable goals are already set, and then you throw in an ostomy? How in the world are we supposed to love our bodies when we feel so different? Building confidence begins with you. It begins with self-love and embracing your uniqueness. This can take time, and giving yourself the time to heal (both literally and figuratively) and come to terms with the changes and the new daily rhythms will go a long way in boosting your confidence. The great thing about confidence is that it is contagious. Others can feel it in the way you talk, walk, and are proud about yourself and your body, and when they sense it, it transforms the way they see you. This doesn’t mean that self-love is easy and immediate, but it does mean that it is a possible and attainable goal. One of the ways to lead yourself into recovery and learning to love your body is to get active. Maybe you love to run, swim, or hike in the mountains, or you’ve always wanted to join a gym but your disease was holding you back from the commitment of it. Have you always wanted to learn an instrument, or join a band? There are amazing people out there with stories of how they overcame their fears, and also how they discovered the right product for their unique lifestyle and activity.

Every body is different and being patient with yourself and your healing process is vital, especially within the first few months. While inspirational stories about others can help to normalize your situation, it is also completely normal to feel discouraged and down at times. If you are feeling extreme discouragement or hopelessness, don’t hesitate to reach out to a licensed therapist or a healthcare professional. It is important to be able to share as honestly as possible about your situation so that you can begin to move forward.

Inspirational Ostomates

If you are looking for some inspiration from fellow ostomates, there are many platforms out there with information to connect you with people and resources. Feeling like you need some encouragement in embracing your body and its changes? This video is full of helpful information as well as inspiring individuals just like you. As you begin to enter the world of other ostomates and hear their stories, not only will you be able to relate with them, you will also find that they are paving the way for others to be confident in their bodies and, in many cases, thankful for their ostomy and appliance. Maybe their stories will be the push you need to reclaim your life and find that confidence that you know you have in you. Don’t just stop there, why not become one of the inspirational stories that someone else undergoing a surgery leading to an ostomy can read about? Embrace your new life and body.

For More information, visit www.coloplast.us.

Editor’s note: This educational article is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.