Tag Archive for: support

My Life with an Ostomy- Josh

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Are you a new ostomate? Or a soon-to-be ostomate? No matter how far you are in your ostomy journey, adapting to your new situation is an inevitable part of the process. Talking to others who have already been in your shoes can help you in adjusting to this time of your life. That’s why we asked Josh Nelson, the first active-duty U.S. Airforce Pilot living with an ileostomy, to share his story and his experience with his ostomy journey to give insights on how getting an ostomy can be just the beginning of an exciting new chapter.

Before surgery

What was your life like before your ostomy surgery?

I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in November of 2017. Throughout the next year after my diagnosis, I tried maximum medical therapies starting with oral medications, then biologics, and then transitioned to combination therapies with biologics. Unfortunately, my body just did not respond to the medications, and the disease just took over my life. If you want to talk about quality of life with ulcerative colitis before I had the surgery – I didn’t have one. I was 145lbs. I was having 18 to 20 bowel movements a day. I wouldn’t leave my house. I knew where every bathroom, rest stop, and gas station were from my house to where I work. Any time I did leave the house, the only thing on my mind was, “Where’s the bathroom?” in case I had that sudden urgency to go. My wife and daughters left me alone. They wouldn’t even ask if I would go with them anywhere because they just knew I did not want to go anywhere. I had no quality of life. I was a prisoner in my own home, and that’s no way to live your life.

How did you feel when you learned you would be having ostomy surgery? What questions of fears did you have?

I made the decision to have an ostomy surgery in November of 2018, and I had about three days’ notice before the surgery was going to take place. The staff at the University of Minnesota Medical Center, where I was inpatient for 30 days prior to surgery, did a great job of introducing what life with a stoma will be like. My questions were, “What is a stoma?” “What are the appliances that I’m going to have?” “How do I care for this thing, and how do I recover?” and  “How do I slowly adapt to having an ileostomy and then getting my life back?” The WOC nurses were great, because they would just simply start to explain, “Oh, here’s what a wafer or barrier looks like,” “Here’s what a pouch looks like,” “Here’s what some of the accessories are.” They also explained, whether it’s ileostomy, colostomy, or urostomy, people do go on to live fully functional lives.

I definitely had some goals, but I had no fears when it came to having the surgery. I mean, okay, fine – I had maybe a couple fears of having surgery, but the stoma itself I was not afraid of. The reason for that is because I was kind of at my lowest of lows, and I thought to myself, “How could this be any worse than what I’m dealing with right now?” I remember my surgeon and the medical staff told me that once the surgery was done, I would no longer have the pain, and each day moving forward I could start to focus on getting my life back.

What advice do you have for people who are considering ostomy surgery?

My advice to anybody who is considering having the surgery is to keep an open mind. It will take some work. You will need to adapt to what you have. That means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally because it is a step-by-step process. It is a big transition, but I’ve done everything I could to make sure my quality of life has improved. I do not regret my decision one bit. I have my life back and that’s what I think is most important.

Coming home

What was your experience like right after your ostomy surgery?

I had about five days in the hospital after surgery, and during that time I was focused on recovery, protecting my abdomen, and getting my strength back. The nurses did a great job of explaining step by step what it takes to change out the pouch and care for my stoma. Before I left the hospital, I needed to make sure that my pain was under control, starting to move around, and understood how to change my appliance by myself.

What were your goals after your surgery?

I focused on transitioning to home life again, figuring out how to slowly heal my body, and how to start eating foods again.

My goals were:

  1. Getting healthy food into my body so that my body can recover.
  2. Finding out what schedule I should be on for changing out my appliance.
  3. Observing my stoma area regularly to keep my skin healthy, prevent skin breakdown, and make sure that my stoma was healing properly.

What would you tell someone else returning home from their surgery?

  • Don’t be afraid of touching the stoma because your stoma doesn’t have any nerve endings you can feel.
  • It’s extremely important to have a solid understanding of how to change your pouch and ask for products before you leave the hospital.
  • Your WOC nurse will probably explain that what works best for you in the hospital may change after you go home and are healing up. Initially, it might be multiple times a week that you’re changing your whole appliance out because your abdominal area might’ve been swollen from the surgery, and as it starts to reside some of those wafers might fit differently.
  • Everybody’s different. Everybody responds to products differently. Those first couple of weeks to a month is just trial and error to find out which products work best for you. After you figure out your change routine, your quality of life can start to improve. You no longer need to worry about having multiple leaks or having multiple issues with your appliance, and you can start to focus on making other goals for your life with an ostomy.
  • Just take it day by day. Don’t think of the end state right away because it’s going to take time to get there. Create small goals on a day-to-day basis and then think long term and how to get there. It’s definitely a marathon; it is not a sprint. You’re going to learn something new every single day until you get comfortable living your life and understanding how to handle your ostomy.

Managing life with an ostomy

How has your life changed now that you have an ostomy?

I’ve had my ileostomy for over three years, and I can honestly say I haven’t looked back or had any regrets whatsoever to surgically remove my colon. I try to tell people my worst day as an ileostomate far exceeds my best day ever living under the umbrella of Inflammatory Bowel Disease. I am no longer bound by any type of medication. I have no special diet, nor do I have any restrictions, and my quality of life is through the roof. I could not be happier, and I do not regret the decision one bit whatsoever. But how did I get there?

First off, I accepted the fact early on that I was going to have an ileostomy for the rest of my life because it was a decision I made for a better quality of life. After accepting it, I could focus on moving forward versus dwelling on the “how’s” and “why’s” with ulcerative colitis.

Secondly, after trying multiple different products, I came across a Coloplast product that worked really well for me. Once I found the product that worked well for me, that gave me the confidence to continue moving forward with my life and not have to worry about having leakage or skin issues. I have a couple routines, I’ll change my pouch no more than twice a week, but no less than once a week. I observe how the wear and tear of my wafer and appliance is working.

On top of that, I wanted to do everything that I could to make sure that I am living the best life that I can. I made some personal decisions, such as eating better and taking care of myself. I exercise quite a bit, and I try to eat fairly well. I try to focus on eating healthy foods so I can get the nutrition that my body needs.

What are some other tips you want to share about managing life with an ostomy?

It’s important to understand that this affects everybody differently, and it’s up to you to determine what works best for you to adapt, overcome, and live your life with any type of ostomy. I reached out to local support groups, and I think that’s extremely beneficial because you get connected with like-minded individuals. No matter whether they have a colostomy, ileostomy or urostomy, you can touch base with them and share your fears and concerns. A lot of these people have lived decades with their ostomy, and they’re proof to you that you probably can too. Finding that help and resource is extremely beneficial in helping you understand how to navigate life now that you have an ostomy and what’s out there for you.

 

I hope this helped you to understand what it was like to be diagnosed with the disease, have a permanent ileostomy, and how I live my life moving forward. Thank you! -Josh

 

 

*Josh has received compensation from Coloplast to provide this information. Each person’s situation is unique, so your experience may not be the same. Talk to your healthcare professional about which product might be right for you.

At Coloplast, we strive to provide innovative solutions to support people with intimate healthcare needs and make their lives easier. Now, we’ve got an app for that!

If you’re looking for additional support during your ostomy journey, download MyOstomyLife by Coloplast® Care. The app is designed to help you be successful and build confidence in managing your ostomy by providing you with personalized tools and resources for your daily life with an ostomy.

With MyOstomyLife, you can create a digital stoma journal to track your pouching changes over time and easily download to share with your nurse, if requested. The app also provides you with educational resources offering reliable product and lifestyle advice, tips customized to your ostomy type, and inspirational videos from other ostomates like Josh.

You can also easily contact one of our Coloplast Care® Ostomy Advisors for product and lifestyle support within the app. We’re here to help!

Download MyOstomyLife for free on your smartphone or tablet today to get started!

Have any questions about the app? Visit Coloplast® Care at www.ostomy.coloplastcare.us or call

1-877-858-2656.

Information provided in the app and from Coloplast® Care is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice and should not be interpreted to contain treatment recommendations. You should rely on the healthcare professional who knows your individual history for personal medical advice and diagnosis.

Editor’s note: This article is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

 

Support is Crucial

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Written by: Brenda Elsagher, Director of Affiliated Support Group (ASG) Affairs, United Ostomy Association of America

Support. I’m not talking about my bra, although it could win an Oscar for a supporting role! I’m talking about the kind of encouragement you get from knowing another person with an ostomy.

I freaked out when I was 39 and had to have a colostomy. I wanted a point of reference and needed to talk to someone who had a stoma. I wanted to know what to expect; I wanted to prepare my body and mind for the changes coming my way. There was no internet and no social media. I didn’t even know there was any other kind of ostomy besides a colostomy.

My Wound, Ostomy, and Continence Nurse (WOCN) was a great source of comfort. She calmly explained, without horror, that excrement (OK, I think she actually said “stool” – and I wouldn’t have used either of those words) would be coming out of my abdomen and into a bag that would somehow adhere to my body.

She made it sound like it would become so natural, as if I was adding a quart of milk to my shopping list. No big deal. You’ll get this in no time at all. And she said all of this with a confident smile – a genuine one, not a fake one like when people are trying to help you through something awful. I felt she meant it! So, I let myself believe her.

During one of my subsequent visits to her office, I saw a newsletter that listed a meeting time for people living with ostomies. I went to the meeting, and realized that this was my tribe. For many attendees, these gatherings were the only ostomy support they had, other than their loved ones who tried to understand but could never quite get it. Besides, here were people I could eat a meal with while talking about changing ostomy pouches. You can’t do that with every crowd! I met life-long friends at those meetings, and that was an unexpected perk.

Then I heard of a conference, the United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) national conference, where people came from all over the USA, and some from Canada and other countries too. It featured classes, social events, great speakers, and time to get to know more people with ostomies. A young man I talked to recently told me that he met someone at the 2009 conference who changed his life and made all the difference. If we only knew the power of a quiet conversation and how its impact can be phenomenal. We can be a resource for one another. That’s why I suggest regular telephone check-ins or video calls with UOAA Affiliated Support Groups (ASGs), because both can play a crucial role in helping someone feel connected.

I also found information galore and updates on the latest innovative technology for people with ostomies in The Phoenix magazine (the official publication of the UOAA), which still exists today. Not long after, I got America Online (AOL) and felt like I was on the forefront of technology. I had a computer, and now the internet. Imagine horns blasting – my world opened up and the exchange of information worldwide was awesome. Even more ways to communicate! A woman in Colorado who read my book, “If the Battle is Over, Why am I Still In Uniform,” emailed me, decided to get a colonoscopy, and was spared from cancer. That is a satisfying feeling, to know you gave up a year of your life to write a book and it saved another.

I began to speak across the USA. Who would have thought that 25 years later I am still talking about bowels and butts, or dare I say the lack of them in some cases? The people I have met, the conversations I have had, the opportunities that have come my way – all because I chose to meet with a small group of people. That experience led to an abundance of support, not only for me but for others I know with ostomies or continent diversions, because of all that we shared. Some shared their misery, some shared their success, and some listened, learned, and began to feel that they could deal with their situations. Finding the group was life enhancing, and even life-saving in many cases. I kept coming to help others, but have been helped in return many times over. A phrase that I often heard at the meetings was, “Someone reached out to me in the hospital, and I want to do the same.”

In my new role as the UOAA Director of ASG Affairs, I have come full circle as a volunteer. I meet so many people across the USA that are actively reaching out to others, and helping them on their paths to recovery of mind, body, and spirit. I am their cheerleader. Sometimes I can offer a suggestion or teach them how to use Zoom to stay connected. I have always known that the UOAA had our backs but I have now found so many more resources on their website that I never knew existed. There are over 300 ostomy support groups in the USA for people with ostomies and continent diversions. And for people who don’t like to go to group meetings, there is an individual membership too that gives them full access to an abundance of resources.

There is no right way or wrong way to have an ostomy. You don’t have to shout it out to the world, but there also is no reason to be ashamed about it. I honor your privacy, and thank you for honoring my desire to be public. Both are good. We are alive and grateful!

 

This article originated in the Hollister Secure Start services eNewsletter. For more ostomy resources at your fingertips, subscribe here.

Brenda Elsagher is an author, international speaker, and comedian, and also volunteers with the UOAA. She has been living well with an ostomy for 25 years. Find out more about Brenda at www.livingandlaughing.com, and follow her on Facebook @BrendaElsagher. 

Financial Disclosure: Brenda Elsagher received compensation from Hollister Incorporated for her contribution to this article.

 

Editor’s note: This article is from one of our digital sponsors, Hollister Incorporated. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

New Ostomates Deserve Our Best

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By Ellyn Mantell

Welcome to my fantasy.

We all have our fantasies, so come along with me as I describe one of mine…new ostomates (those with ileostomy, colostomy or urostomy, all having had stoma surgery) would begin their adjustment to their new life with all of their questions answered, they would have knowledge and be welcomed into an Ostomy Support Group, they would have a connection with a Wound, Ostomy, and Continence Nurse (WOCN) and they would recognize what a gift, what a lifesaver an ostomy is.

My concern is that this is not the usual for ostomates, either new or even those who have them for many years. In New Jersey, particularly where I live, there are many resources available, and yet, even in our sophisticated arena, many ostomates leave the hospital uninformed and underserved. Prior to Covid-19, I visited patients in the hospital or in rehab facilities to answer their questions. I brought journals and pens so they could write their emotions, concerns, and observations, and refer back to their notes as they made progress. I am so anxious to return to that important undertaking as soon as it is safe to do so.

When I had my surgery in March of 2014, my surgeon told me I would be in the hospital for 5-7 days. However, I felt so well, so quickly, that I was able to leave 4 days later. That was pushing the envelope, but I was so used to recovering from abdominal surgeries, having had 22 before that, my ability to go into recovery mode was well-entrenched. The majority of patients need so much more time, and now, even 4 days is more than they are offered.

Back to my fantasy, and my pipe dream of a great transition for new ostomates:

How can questions be answered, and knowledge gained as needed? 

The majority of ostomies, even those performed in an emergent situation, require marking the abdomen for placement of the stoma (opening.) That is typically done by the Wound, Ostomy, and Continence Nurse (WOCN) and that is the person who comes to the patient’s room post-op to begin to prepare the ostomate for life at home. In an ideal world, the WOC nurse has written information to share, which once home, will make more sense, and provides contact information for any questions. Additionally, the ostomate is put in touch with the United Ostomy Associations of America to become part of a bigger group of kindred people.

How do we find Ostomy Support Groups in our area?

I am involved in three Support Groups, becoming president of one already formed when I had my ileostomy, and then worked with WOC nurses at two other hospitals in the area to form new ones. Until Covid hit, these were growing so nicely. But we are meeting virtually now, and staying as close as possible, knowing that the day will come when we are back together. It is wonderful to see “my people” who share my concerns, experiences and fears and accomplishments. We help each other in countless ways. People reach out to me through the WOC nurses in the area, United Ostomy Associations of America, The Phoenix Magazine, the American Cancer Society, three hospitals, and through word of mouth. Because I am so open and revealing about my ileostomy and Lily, my stoma, I believe my name pops into the minds of people when they know someone in need.

Ostomies are Lifesavers! “Read all about it!”

An ostomy provides the gift of health for many, many medical situations, including cancer, ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease, diverticulitis, motility issues and devastating organ injury. We live in good times for our supplies and the ability to try new and innovative appliances and accessories. The Phoenix Magazine is a great resource for all, and assists in wading through the confusion many feel. Motivational stories and practical guidance round out the offerings.

A final word about those we call our Angels…the Wound and Ostomy Nurses.

Establish a relationship with one, and if there is an Ostomy Clinic or Ostomy Center in your area, use it! These nurses are your connection to properly-fitting appliances, the correct supplies and accessories, questions and personal support, as well as the ability to refer to a Support Group. More and more are entering the private sector and providing services such as home visits, particularly to those who cannot travel to a clinic or office, and your surgeon may even have one in the office to help navigate the transition to life as an ostomate. We call our WOC nurses our Angels, and that is exactly what they are, ladies and gentlemen with big wings to support us!

 

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. You can follow her personal blog at morethanmyostomy

UOAA Ostomy Support Groups Go Virtual During Pandemic

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By Ed Pfueller, UOAA Communications and Outreach Manager

In-person peer support has always been at the heart of UOAA. Though people worldwide now routinely connect online with others living with an ostomy, the in-person experience of UOAA’s over 300 Affiliated Support Groups continues to endure and grow year after year.

The arrival of COVID-19 is challenging groups to maintain continuity after often decades of holding a routine meeting schedule. Ostomates new and old continue to need support during this time and video conferencing technology is making this happen. Zoom meetings have emerged as the platform of choice as our world strives for human connection during this period of isolation.

The South Texas Ostomy Support Group has been ahead of the curve and before this current crisis was already live-streaming with Zoom meetings as an option to in-person attendance. “Now that we are not able to meet up, we are still using the same meeting ID (link) but now that’s our only form of meeting,” says group president Christine Miller.

Christine recognizes that some may struggle to adapt to the new technology. “I made sure it was in the newsletter so those who needed help could call me and I could walk them through how to use Zoom prior to the meeting started. I had several calls the day of. It was exciting that we had so many people participate (10 people logged on). It was much less than a normal meeting but it was still heart-warming that they were still participating. We even had a newbie come! It was fun having her because she mentioned some of her problems and I immediately texted our Coloplast rep who jumped on for 15 minutes and became a very last-minute speaker for us.”

The Morris County New Jersey Ostomy Association, which has been in existence for over 40 years, is another group adapting to the times. UOAA Treasurer and the ASG’s board member George Salamy says that, after a trial to test for bugs, he and newsletter editor and webmaster Walter Cummins sent a broadcast email telling everyone they wanted to do a Zoom call.

“On April 15th around 23 people signed on with no issues. It was a mixture of older members and a few younger members, some with spouses, and our group’s WOC nurse,” George reports. “The original purpose of the call was to see how everyone was doing and if they needed anything. Everyone seemed to be okay. We talked about if there were any issues in obtaining products. I indicated UOAA works with the manufacturers and determined there were no manufacturing issues.” George adds, “People talked about shopping, which grocery stores were stocked, and some sanitary things we should all be doing (closing the toilet seat before flushing to eliminate germs). All in all, it went well. One member, who now lives in Florida, signed on and contributed much to the call. We decided to do this in May and will continue if needed. It’s a great way of keeping the members engaged.” After the meeting, members commented and made suggestions about future topics such as; the depression aspects of this “lock-down,” yoga, sound therapy for relaxing, and suggestions on where to shop and which stores had supplies.

Bob Baumel of the Ostomy Association of North Central Oklahoma sees potential in the virtual meetings because the organization’s meetings rotate between locations. “It will be interesting to see how Zoom works for our group. We may actually get better attendance using Zoom than we’ve been getting with physical meetings, considering that members who don’t feel well enough to travel to meetings, or who live far from our meeting locations of Stillwater and Ponca City, may nevertheless join meetings which are conducted electronically. Maybe we’ll like Zoom so much that we decide to continue holding some meetings with Zoom, even after the Coronavirus pandemic is over,” Bob says.

Liz Hiles of the Greater Cincinnati Ostomy Association has already hosted several Zoom calls for her group and hopes participation will increase. “I like the option on a number of levels and hadn’t previously considered it. I need to learn more about how to conduct and make it more productive. I like it for the younger folks who may be on the go or traveling. Though that could also apply to older populations too. I also like it for those that may be homebound or in a facility for whatever reason. Hospital, rehab, nursing etc.” Liz also organized a Zoom call for a group of young adults who all connected at last year’s UOAA National Conference and have tried to stay in touch on Facebook ever since.

Remember even if you have never attended a UOAA support and information group in the past you can always reach out and call a local leader nearby you for support. If they are not holding virtual meetings and you are familiar with the technology, perhaps ask if they need a volunteer like you to help them set it up for the group. Use whatever technology you and your group are comfortable with.

You can also use a landline to call into the group to chat, if you don’t have a smartphone or a camera on your computer. Zoom offers a free version if your group does not want to invest in a professional account. Members will just need to log back in when the meeting time hits its 40-minute limit. In recent weeks Zoom has responded to privacy concerns and it is suggested to use the password option for added security. Also, the Federal Trade Commission recently shared guidelines on staying safe while video conferencing.

This is a time for all of us to reach out and make sure our community is safe and supported. Although we are apart for safety, we can still remain connected and together.

When an Ostomy Reversal Plan Takes A U-Turn

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By Ellyn Mantell

Setting the scene for you, imagine the patient who has controlled ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s Disease, or diverticulitis and is suddenly terribly symptomatic with infection and unremitting agonizing pain. Or consider the patient who has an accident in the intestinal region of their body. Or the patient who hears the news following a colonoscopy that there is colorectal cancer. Or the patient, like me, whose motility issues have made it impossible for the bowel to function. All of these scenarios are happening every day, all day, in hospitals and households and they all may very well lead to either a colostomy or ileostomy. (I believe a urostomy is always a permanent surgery)

Frequently, depending upon the physicality of the ostomy, a reversal in a matter of six months to a year is either discussed or promised to the patient. It is usually explained that for the connection to heal, it requires that time, and once healed, the reversal is smooth sailing. Except, in many cases, it is not, and that is what I want to bring to your attention, based on the people with whom I have spoken. Please remember, I am not a medical professional, but I interface closely with many patients in many situations, so I speak from my observations.

Sometimes, during those 6-12 months, the sphincter muscles of the rectum stop fully functioning, and the patient may be tied to the bathroom as never before. Or the connection is narrow and there may begin a pattern of bowel obstructions due to the backup of stool. Other times, the surgeon had good intentions for a reversal, but the patient is simply not a good candidate due to illness or stepping out of remission of some disease process.

The reason I am writing this graphic and perhaps uncomfortable blog for many to read is that an ostomy can happen to anyone for a variety of reasons. UOAA estimates there are 725,000 to one million of us in the United States who have ostomy or continent diversion surgery. I want to educate all ostomates that making peace with their new anatomy may be safer and provide a more predictable future than hopes for a reversal. I believe and have heard from others who give ostomy support that those who know they will be an ostomate for the rest of their life tend to be more open to embracing their new body, physically and emotionally. Those who have been given (false, in some cases) hope for a reversal are frequently disappointed and angry, feel betrayed and lose faith they will ever be “normal” again.

Support Groups are a wonderful way to begin to think of the new normal. It is so beneficial to meet like people, learn about appliances, clothing, foods, sleep, intimacy, maintaining health and to simply share experiences. If you cannot find one in your area, contact the United Ostomy Association of America or your local hospital. Take a family member, caregiver or friend if it gives you comfort. I guarantee you will feel empowered by taking this step, whether you are having a reversal in your future, or are embracing your ostomy for life.

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. You can follow her personal blog at morethanmyostomy

 

 

 

Discover a World of Ostomy Products at UOAA’s National Conference

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Imagine if there was a place where over forty ostomy product manufacturers, accessory makers, distributors, lifestyle experts, and related support organizations could gather with ostomy patients from around the world? Well, UOAA’s 7th National Conference Exhibit Hall is that place, and everyone is invited. It will be open August 8 and 9, 2019 at the Philadelphia 201 Hotel in the heart of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

People return to UOAA’s biennial national conferences not only because of the lifelong friendships, education, and social events but also because of the exhibit hall. It is a fun one-stop experience to ask questions about your favorite supplies or discover what is the latest and greatest in the world of ostomy care. Attendees have the chance to sign-up for sample products and talk one-on-one with representatives of all the major and specialty ostomy product manufacturers. Visitors often find the passionate owners and inventors of unique ostomy products on hand to introduce you to their products.

 

UOAA is proud to be able to provide this space for our community to gather.  The conference runs Aug. 6-10, but If you can only come to our conference for one day you’ll want to consider registering for the exhibit hall days Thursday and Friday. There is even a free box lunch Friday for all those registered attendees who enter the exhibit hall. You may want to consider staying longer, however, to take advantage of the free stoma clinic, expert educational session and surgery specific meet-ups. And don’t miss social events such as the Roaring 20s Casino Night and Music Thursday and the Saturday night fashion show, desserts, and dancing. Be sure to stop by UOAA’s table where you can sign an important petition for the Ostomy and Continent Diversion Patient Bill of Rights and learn about all the upcoming events such as Ostomy Awareness Day and the Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k.

 

Here is a list of all the businesses and organizations exhibiting this August. Like UOAA, they are dedicated to improving the quality of life of people living with an ostomy. 

 

11 Health and Technologies Inc.
www.11Health.com • 657-266-0570

11 Health helps people living with medical bags by combining peer-to-peer support with unique patented SmartBags that collect patient generated data for preventative care. 11 Health thinks and acts differently from all established medical bag companies because we see the patient as a patient – not an end user.

ASCRS – Colon/Rectal Surgeons
www.fascrs.org • 847-290-9184

You are invited to visit the ASCRS Booth and receive information regarding services ASCRS can provide, including patient referrals and patient education brochures. The scope of colon and rectal surgery includes the small bowel, colon, rectum and anal areas.

Avadim Health, Inc.
www.theraworxprotect.com • 877-677-2723

Avadim Health Inc. is the Bionome Life Science company. Avadim’s flagship product Theraworx® Protect is a topical solution that supports the skin’s outer most layer, the stratum corneum, while remaining Non-Toxic and Safe.

B Braun Medical
www.bbraunusa.com • 800-227-2862

B. Braun Medical Inc. develops, manufactures, and markets innovative medical products and offers ostomy products including Flexima® 3S two-piece appliance with a unique guiding system and a High Output System. The myosto™ resource offers ostomates the ability to request product samples and educational resources on the website. Visit www.bbraunusa.com and www.myosto-mylife.com

Byram Healthcare
www.byramhealthcare.com • 800-227-2862

Byram is the leading service and solutions provider of disposable medical supplies delivered directly to the home while conveniently billing insurance plans. We provide convenience, affordability and choice™ to make a positive difference in the lives of the people we serve.

Calmoseptine, Inc.
www.calmoseptine.com • 714-840-3405

Calmospetine® Ointment protects and helps heal skin irritations from moisture such as urinary and fecal incontinence. It is also effective for irritations from perspiration, wound drainage, fecal and vaginal fistulas and feeding tube site leakage. Calmoseptine® temporarily relieves discomfort and itching. Free samples at our booth!

Cancer Support Community
www.cancersupportphiladelphia.org

Cancer Support Community is a leader in cancer support, and is the largest cancer support organization in the world that provides 100% free services and programs for individuals and families impacted by cancer. The Community serves those with cancer, who have a family member or friend with cancer and who have lost a loved one to cancer.

Celebration Ostomy Support Belt 
www.celebrationostomysupportbelt.com • 413-539-7704

Our ostomy Celebration Belt systems are designed to protect your dignity while allowing you to lead an active life. Learn how to measure for a correct fit, get wear and care information, and order your belt with confidence.

Colo-Majic Enterprises
www.colomajic.com • 866-611-6028

Colo-Majic® Flushable Liners are designed to be inserted into a two piece closed end pouch system to collect colostomy/ileostomy output. Liners will keep your pouch clean allowing for reuse and makes output disposal quick and easy.

Coloplast
www.coloplast.us • 888-726-7872

Coloplast develops products and services that make life easier for people with very personal and private medical conditions. Working closely with the people who use our products, we create solutions that are sensitive to their special needs. Our business includes ostomy care, interventional urology, continence care, wound & skin care.

ConvaTec
www.convatec.com • 800-422-8811

At ConvaTec, we exist to improve the lives of the people we touch and are committed to helping people living with an ostomy live the life they want with more confidence and freedom. Our me+ program gives you the support, insights and products you need. For more information, visit convatec.com.

Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation 
www.crohnscolitisfoundation.org  888-694-8872

The Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation is dedicated to finding cures for Crohn’s Disease and ulcerative colitis, and to improving the quality of life of children and adults affected by these diseases. The Foundation is at the forefront of research in inflammatory bowel diseases in addition to educating, supporting, and empowering patients and caregivers.

Edgepark
ww.edgepark.com • 800-321-0591

Edgepark is a leading provider of home-delivered, disposable medical products. We specialize in ostomy, wound care, urological, incontinence, diabetes and more, offer comprehensive insurance options and provide free nationwide delivery. To learn how we can help meet your supply needs, please call 800-321-0591 or visit www.edgepark.com.

Friends of Ostomates Worldwide
www.fowusa.org • 502-909-6669 • info@fowusa.org

Friends of Ostomates Worldwide-USA is a volunteer-run, non-profit organization that collects donated ostomy supplies from individuals and organizations in the United States and sends them and educational materials at no cost to ostomates in need around the world.

Girls With Guts
www.girlswithguts.org • info@girlswithguts.org

The vision of Girls With Guts is to establish a national support network that assists women with IBD and/or ostomies in their search for community, acceptance, and empowerment. This rapidly growing sisterhood helps to ensure that no woman will ever feel isolated by her disease.

Hollister Incorporated
www.hollister.com • 888-740-8999

At Hollister Incorporated, we are dedicated to delivering the highest standard of quality in medical products and services, and each member of the Hollister team is committed to making a difference in the lives of people who use our products and services.

Hy-Tape Int. 
www.hytape.com • 800-248-0101

Hy-Tape’s latex-free, waterproof, zinc oxide-based adhesive is soothing to delicate skin, and removes without compromising skin integrity. Our tape is perfect for extended ostomy wearing time, adhering securely so the end user can resume normal activities such as walking, exercising, bathing and swimming without worry of detachment.

KEM Enterprises, Inc.
www.kemonline.com • 616-676-0213

KEM Enterprises, Inc. manufactures the Osto-EZ-Vent.® The Osto-EZ-Vent® is the unique venting device designed for any Ostomy pouch, which allows quick, discreet release of air pressure. Invented by an Ostomate, the OEV™ gives the wearer complete control and confidence to lead an active life. Medicare code A4366. Visit us at kemOnline.com.

Marlen Manufacturing
www.marlenmfg.com • 216-292-7060

Since 1952, Marlen has been a leading innovator in ostomy care. Offering an extensive line of one-piece and two-piece systems for Ileostomies, Colostomies and Urostomies, Marlen has always strived to provide the highest quality products while meeting the comfort and security needs of our customers. Visit our website at www.marlenmfg.com

McKesson Patient Care Solutions
www.mpcs.mckesson.com • 855-404-6727

From doctor to doorstep, McKesson Patient Care Solutions provides healthcare that fits into your everyday life. With online support to answer all your questions, a team of customer service Reps to help you choose the right supplies, and fast, convenient shipping right to your door.

No You Cant’cer Foundation
www.noyoucantcerfoundation.org • 609-464-4647

The No You Cant’cer Foundation is a nonprofit organization working to dispel the negative stigmas surrounding ostomy bags and colorectal cancer while inspiring through song. By nationally distributing informational pamphlets and creating her awareness ribbon necklaces, cancer survivor and ostomate Melissa Marshall aims to help everyone say No You Cant’cer.

Nu-Hope Labs
www.nu-hope.com • 800-899-5017

Nu-Hope manufactures ostomy devices, accessories, belts, barriers and adhesives. We specialize in custom molded pouches and custom ostomy/hernia belts. Other highlights are our oval convex pouches, and stoma wafer hole cutters. Check out the Nu-Comfort belt and new for 2019, our moldable extended wear barrier. Don’t forget the Fun Run/Walk!

Oley Foundation
www.oley.org • 518-262-5079

The Oley Foundation is a non-profit organization providing information and support to those sustaining themselves on home infused and/or tube fed nutrition. Outcome data demonstrates that those connected to Oley have better outcome: significantly higher quality of life, less reactive depression, and a lower incidence of catheter-related sepsis.

Ostomy Canada Society
www.ostomycanada.ca • 888-969-9698

Ostomy Canada Society is a non-profit volunteer organization dedicated to all people with an ostomy and their families, helping them to live life to the fullest through support, education, collaboration and advocacy. www.ostomycanada.ca

Parthenon Co., Inc.
www.parthenoninc.com • 800-453-8898

Family owned and operated for over 50 years. The Parthenon Company is a manufacturer and discount retailer specializing in ostomy supplies servicing customers throughout the United States.

Philadelphia Ostomy Association
www.philaost.org

The Philadelphia Ostomy Association was established in 1949 as the Colostomy Ileostomy Rehabilitation Association. As time went on and Urostomy surgery was developed, we changed our name to the Philadelphia Ostomy Association to support all types of ostomates.

Pouch Place
www.pouchplace.com • 865-531-1285

Nurse owned and managed ostomy care and supplies. For more than 27 years the Pouch Place has offered a complete selection of ostomy, wound care and incontinence supplies treating each patient’s needs with thoughtful and respectful care from two store front locations and an online store serving patients nationwide.

Pull-thru Network, Inc.
www.pullthrunetwork.org • 309-262-0786

Pull-thru Network, Inc (PTN) is a volunteer-based non-profit organization dedicated to providing information, education, support and advocacy for families, children, teens and adults who are living with the challenges of congenital anorectal, colorectal, and/or urogenital disorders and any of the associated diagnoses.

Quality Life Association, Inc.
www.qla-ostomy.org • 662-801-5461

The Quality Life Association, Inc. (QLA) is a non-profit nationwide association aimed at meeting the special needs of the continent ostomate and to educate others on the latest advances in ostomy options.

Safe n Simple
www.sns-medical.com • 844-767-6334

Safe n simple is an innovator that develops and markets a full line of high quality, cost-effective ostomy accessory products. The patented Peri-Stoma Cleanser and Adhesive Remover wipes are their most popular product. Now offering Security Hernia/Ostomy Support Belts.

Sanitary Ostomy Systems, Inc.
www.sanitaryostomysystem.com • 805-441-6708

Discover Our Exclusive Pouch-Emptying Systems For Use At Home And Everywhere Else. THE SOS KIT: Compresses pouch contents into a detachable, disposable collection bag. The perfect reusable solution for ostomates & caregivers. THE TRAVELER KIT: Empties your pouch anytime, anywhere – even in your car! Completely disposable, discreet and easy.

Schena Ostomy Technologies, Inc.
www.ostomyezclean.com • 239-263-9957

The revolutionary EZ-Clean Pouch system can be cleaned in less than 3 minutes. Water under pressure is dispersed via a manifold inside the pouch to provide thorough, hygenic cleansing of the pouch and stoma while sitting on the toilet. See details on how to normalize life with an ostomy online at: www.ostomyezclean.com.

Simply Beautiful
www.simplybeautifulstore.com • 304-771-1773

Wraps and Lingerie that empower women and preteens to feel more confident and reveal your true beauty while thriving with an ostomy.

Stealth Belt Inc.
www.stealthbelt.com • 800-237-4491

A Stealth Belt is an ostomy support belt that is specially designed to hold an ostomy appliance securely and discreetly. A Stealth Belt may be worn 24/7 to provide comfort and give you privacy. Stealth Belt’s great design features include, light weight fabric, a zippered pouch compartment, and a range of adjustability for ease of sizing.

Stomagienics, Inc.
www.stomagienics.com • 225-939-1460

Stomagienics Inc., was created based on an extraordinary situation involving a family member who, after having ostomy surgery, solved a plaguing issue that occurs during the ostomy pouch replacement process. We use many of his original design principles to create a revolutionary new product that will change the lives of ostomates worldwide.

Surviving to Thriving
www.elaineorourke.com/ostomyprograms • 978-281-6126

Are you struggling to live a fulfilling life with your ostomy? Elaine O’Rourke, creator of the “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming Ostomy Challenges Program, has had an ostomy since 2005 and understands the struggles are real! Stop by to claim your gift, 3 Simple Ways to Eliminate Fears About Your Ostomy.

Takeda
www.takeda.com • 877-825-3327

Takeda is a global, values-based, R&D-driven biopharmaceutical leader headquartered in Japan, committed to bringing Better Health and a Brighter Future to patients by translating science into highly-innovative medicines. Takeda focuses its R&D efforts on four therapeutic areas: Oncology, Gastroenterology (GI), Neuroscience and Rare Diseases. We also make targeted R&D investments in Plasma-Derived Therapies and Vaccines.

Trio Ostomy Care USA  

www.trioostomycare.us • 863-421-9400

Trio Ostomy USA, has an over-riding commitment to patient care with improvements to quality of life being at the heart of our business. We ensure that our products reach healthcare providers at an affordable level, offering the benefits of the most advanced silicone technology for all.

United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) Inc.
www.ostomy.org • 800-826-0826
United Ostomy Associations of America provides educational material, resources, support and advocacy for those who have or will have ostomy surgery, their family, caregivers and medical professionals. Stop by our booth to view our resources and show your support of the Ostomy and Continent Diversion Patient Bill of Rights by signing the online petition.

Youth Rally
www.youthrally.org • info@youthrally.org
More than 30 years after inception, the Youth Rally continues to provide an environment for young people to meet others who live with conditions of the bowel and bladder. Lasting friendships are formed, in a short 5 nights, in an atmosphere that promotes self-confidence and independence.

 

Click Here to learn more and register for UOAA’s 7th National Conference Aug. 6-10, 2019 in Philadelphia, PA.

Together We Can Change Lives

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Give to Make an impact in the ostomy community

 

Your support makes a difference in so many lives. People often turn to UOAA in times of concern and uncertainty. UOAA’s staff and volunteers provide assistance every day to people across the country who are seeking knowledge, resources and support as they navigate their way through living with an ostomy. Your donation to our mid-year campaign will ensure UOAA will continue to be a trusted resource for caregivers, family members and medical professionals. Please help us reach our fundraising goal of $110,000 this year.

“Thank you for all your support. Probably without my local support group and UOAA, I seriously doubt I would have been aware of a WOC nurse or a method to receive the medical treatment I thought was necessary. Now…I will be able to live a healthier, productive life.” J. R.

General Fund

Support UOAA as we continue to create and share our educational materials, connect people to affiliated support groups, maintain our informative website and engage with medical professionals who care for the ostomy community.

“I appreciate the support of UOAA. We use the website in the clinic as our major resource and the booklets are great for the staff in-services. I have given copies to the medical students when I give the ostomy lecture during their trauma rotation as well…” C. C.

Advocacy Fund 

Your financial contribution will help engage UOAA and its Advocacy Network (over 650 supporters) in legislative advocacy efforts.

“Just want to tell you what a wonderful advocacy tool you have provided to ostomates and affiliated support groups around the country…I can appreciate how the product of your work will encourage individuals and groups to move ahead with advocacy.” P. M.

Ostomy Awareness Fund 

Assist UOAA in dispelling the fear of undergoing this life-saving and life-restoring surgery. Attendees of our biennial conference (join us August 6-10, 2019 in Philadelphia) have the opportunity to learn from top medical professionals, network with fellow ostomates and share their life experiences.

“Keep up the good work! I have had an ileostomy since 2002…I am retired and now perform at festivals and enjoy life! Life begins at whatever age you shake off your fears and decide to fulfill your reason for being!” K. T. H.

With your donation we can empower people living with an ostomy or continent diversion, promote quality of life, and continue our work to erase the myths and stigma surrounding this life-saving surgery. Together we can change lives.

Sincerely,

Susan Burns
UOAA President

Click here to donate today or learn more. United Ostomy Associations of America, Inc. (UOAA) is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization and all donations are tax deductible.  UOAA has a GuideStar Gold Seal of Transparency.

10 Advocacy Happenings Await You at UOAA’s National Conference

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Summer is quickly approaching and before you know it we will be in Philadelphia at UOAA’s 7th National Conference. With so many new and exciting things planned it is sure to be the best ever! I know whenever I attend a conference I plan well in advance and create my own personal schedule to ensure I do and see all that is of particular interest to me.  This includes conference sessions, social activities and taking some time for local sightseeing in a place I may never have been before. I also always go out of my way to try a new food or beverage native to a particular city or state and in this case it will be an iconic “Philly cheesesteak”.   

As UOAA’s Advocacy Manager I’m very excited that this conference is being held in Philadelphia, a city so very rich in history and quite frankly home to our country’s first advocates.  Here is my twist on ways you can take advantage of this city and our conference, if you have a soft spot for things “advocacy”-related:

  1. Be sure to sign UOAA’s Ostomy and Continent Diversion Patient Bill of Rights during Exhibit Hall hours at the UOAA booth. These signatures will be collected for potential use in advocacy efforts to improve quality in ostomy health care. You also can see one of the 12 surviving original copies of the US Bill of Rights at the National Constitution Center while in Philadelphia.
  2. Pay tribute to our country’s first advocates and visit the Independence National Historic Park to walk in Independence Hall where our founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.
  3. Celebrate your independence and and see the most famous cracked bell in American history – the Liberty Bell.  You can see it for free at the landmark Liberty Bell Center.
  4. Calling all superheroes!  On Wednesday, August 7th at 2:45 pm attend the UOAA Advocacy Session “United Ostomy Advocates to the Rescue”! Come hear first-hand from some of UOAA’s advocates on how they use their “superpowers”, and also learn more about current advocacy efforts underway at UOAA. Leave our national conference empowered to make a positive difference!
  5. Many times in advocacy we face an uphill battle and feel like an underdog. For decades now Philly has been known for the ultimate underdog tale in the Rocky movie series. Show your resilience and run/climb the infamous Rocky stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.  There are 72 stone steps and at the top you can chant “Yo, Philadelphia! I did it!”. Or you can take a picture at the statue of this legendary “Italian Stallion” located near the bottom of the steps.
  6. Philadelphia is known as the “City of Brotherly Love”.  Show your love for the ostomy community and go to Love Park to get a picture at the “LOVE” statue designed by Robert Indiana.

    Love park

  7. Be sure to stop by UOAA’s booth in the Exhibit Hall to pick up some of our self-advocacy tools and educational resources for use when you get back home in your own advocacy efforts.
  8. When it comes to advocacy and activists I can’t think of a more wiser and inspiring person than the fascinating and influential Benjamin Franklin! Not only was he one of the founding fathers of the United States, but he was an author, politician, postmaster, printer, inventor, scientist, diplomat and statesman. Of interest to the ostomy community is that he was the inventor of the flexible urinary catheter and founded the first public hospital!  If you have time, visit the Franklin Science Museum or just drive by the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. As an advocate I am inspired by so many of his famous quotes. I often say the key to advocacy is not only raising awareness and educating others, but also patience and perseverance.  Here are a few of my favorite quotes by Ben Franklin:

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”

“He that can have patience can have what he will.”

“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.”

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

    9) On Saturday, August 10th, at 2:15PM, please pop-in to contribute to UOAA’s first-ever research study by completing a short survey.  This data will help us make improvements to the underserved ostomy population. Upon doing so, you will also be entered into a drawing to win a prize!

   10) Join us during the conference Closing Ceremony at 3:30PM on Saturday, August 10th where we will be recognizing for the first-time the top advocate in the ostomy community! The Mighty Advocate Award, sponsored by UOAA, is a new biennial award intended to honor one individual for his/her significant accomplishments and contributions to support UOAA advocacy efforts and/or has brought greater ostomy awareness in the United States. Your presence will help make this a special moment in our advocacy history!

 

In conclusion, I’m excited to put a name to the face of the many advocates who have emailed me or have worked with me on advocacy efforts over the past couple of years, and meeting more of the people we strive to make an impact every day in our work at UOAA. See you in Philly!

When to Contact Your Stoma Care Nurse

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Your stoma care nurse has the specialized training to help you care for your ostomy and address any issues that arise. These professionals are also known as “WOC” (wound, ostomy, and continence) nurses. Stoma care nurses are there to help you make a smooth transition after surgery, and can give you the training you need to care for your ostomy at home. You should consider them your “go-to” resource for ostomy care education, consultation, and troubleshooting.

In honor of WOC Nurse Week, celebrated every year in mid-April, it is important to recognize the ongoing role that stoma care nurses can play in your ostomy care.

When to Contact Your Stoma Care Nurse

Not every ostomy care challenge warrants contacting your stoma care nurse, but certain issues are causes for concern and should be assessed by a trained professional. Connect with your stoma care nurse if you notice any of the following problems.

If you have a colostomy or ileostomy, call your ostomy care nurse if you notice:

  • Skin irritation
  • Recurrent leaks under your pouching system or skin barrier
  • Excessive bleeding of your stoma
  • Blood in your stool
  • A bulge in the skin around your stoma
  • Persistent diarrhea
  • Diarrhea with pain and/or vomiting
  • A stoma that appears to be getting longer

If you have a urostomy, call your ostomy care nurse if you notice:

  • Any sign of urinary tract infection
  • Skin irritation
  • Urine crystals on or around your stoma
  • Recurrent leaks under your pouching system or skin barrier
  • Warty, discolored skin around your stoma
  • Excessive bleeding of your stoma
  • Blood in your urine
  • A bulge in the skin around your stoma
  • A stoma that appears to be getting longer

Finding a Stoma Care Nurse and Showing Your Support

If you do not have a stoma care nurse, you can search to Find a Nurse using your state or zip code on the WOCN Society website. This feature is also accessible by clicking the “Resources” icon in the Peristomal Skin Assessment Guide for Consumers, a free, easy-to-use, digital tool designed to help teens and adults living with an ostomy identify common skin problems, provide next steps for care or management, and prompt when it is appropriate to seek support from a WOC nurse.

How Hollister Secure Start Services Can Help

Hollister Secure Start services offer free customized ostomy support for as long as you need it, regardless of the brand of products you use, including help using the Peristomal Skin Assessment Guide for Consumers. Call us at 1.888.808.7456.

 

Incredible WOC nurses make a daily impact in the lives of people living with an ostomy. Show your support for all they do during WOC Nurse Week (April 14-20, 2019) by sharing a story or photo on social media using the hashtag #WOClove.

 

The Peristomal Skin Assessment Guide for Consumers was funded through an educational grant from Hollister Incorporated.

The information provided herein is not medical advice and is not intended to substitute for the advice of your personal physician or other healthcare provider. This information should not be used to seek help in a medical emergency. If you experience a medical emergency, seek medical treatment in person immediately.

Editor’s note: This educational article is from one of our digital sponsors, Hollister Incorporated. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Dating Life

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The Black and White of it? Support is Everything.

By Tricia Hottenstein  stomamama.com

I recently shared an article about a little boy who was bullied so badly that after twenty-six surgeries, he decided to take his own life. It hit me so hard. I read it with tears rolling down my face, my heart hurting for his loved ones and my soul hurting for the things he must have felt. I read it after spending a long weekend in the hospital and after undergoing three of four surgeries in just two months. I read it knowing the hurt of bullying and the feeling of people looking at me with any variant of disgust when seeing or talking about my ostomy bag. I read it after writing and sharing what was basically a diary entry of overwhelming emotions. It is by no means comparable, but it made me think a lot about the strong support system around me. I know that my mindset is shaped so greatly by those handpicked few who always have my back and in the midst of this article, fresh in my own rehashed wounds, my gratitude for life and the way it all works out has increased. I can’t be certain I’d have made it through the last few months had they happened to me a year ago when I was already down and struggling. Support is everything.         

I’ve had an ex who was (and still is) really supportive and caring, and one who made me cry and feel worthless in a hospital room. I’ve also had an ex who couldn’t hide his lack of understanding or his overly dramatic gags when he saw me changing my bag. The embarrassment and disrespect was the exact reason why I decided to mention my stoma the very first time I met my boyfriend. I had since decided that anyone who was less than understanding would be an immediate no. I was afraid of dating with an ostomy, but I was no longer willing to feel like a burden or anything less than sexy. I would be okay being single and building myself back up on my own.

And then practically out of nowhere, I was on a date. I was nervous in spite of it going so well, or maybe because it was. I spent many moments of conversation wondering if they were the right moments to bring up the surgery. I speak so freely of my bag to everyone. I answer questions from coworkers, friends, family, and strangers without thinking twice. This is my bag; it saved my life! It is worth talking about. But how do I casually bring this up without awkwardly ending a date? What if his response wasn’t what I wanted it to be? Although, that’s the point, right? I’m old enough, I’ve been through enough. No more on the fence with anything. It is black and white and I’m not moving forward with any more gray.

“Tell me something about yourself that would surprise me.” To be honest, I don’t even remember if he eventually answered the question. All I know is he stared at me. This moment of oh shit in my mind as he was staring at me, half laughing, shocked to be put on the spot. So I just went for it. “I don’t have a colon!” More stares, more shock. I explained the scenario in a nutshell. The disease, the surgery, and the bag I’ve had for several years.

“Well… I guess…that’s kind of shitty, huh?” The words hung in the air before we both laughed. And in all honesty, my reaction to that response could have been a variable one depending on many factors. But really, how better to respond? Because I don’t want someone who will constantly feel sorry for me, or who will treat me any differently. Rather, I want someone who will make me laugh, who will be understanding and upbeat, and who will continue on with the conversation afterward as if it is no big deal. Sure, there were questions to be asked, but not a single one of them seemed to really matter. And there it was, in black and white and bar lights: this glimmer of hope.

As it would turn out, it couldn’t have come at a better time. A few short months later, I was back in hospital gowns and waiting rooms. And not once did he flinch. Not when I delivered awful news, not while he sat next to me in pre-op, not when my bag leaked in the middle of the night or I got frustrated and had tears running down my face. The reality is, most of the time I didn’t even have time to process things before he was reassuring me I’d be okay and distracting me with nonstop laughter.

When I’m in the trenches, when I’m alone, when I think too much, it is easy to go to a place of overwhelming emotions. I have spent more than half of my life with this disease, and surgery went so well that I thought the rest of my life would be smooth sailing. I was finally meeting people who had never known me as sick. It sounds so irrelevant, but it is a huge deal. I remember several years ago when a family member introduced me as “the sick one.” It was intended to be harmless. Intended simply as a way for their friend to put a face to the person they had obviously spoken of. The person undergoing IV therapy, taking twenty-some pills a day, piling up medical debt, and seeing the best physicians while still unable to leave the house most days. It cut through me and it scarred deep. But post-op, there was this moment in life where that was no longer me. Now I was strong. I was an adventurer. I was healthy.

The frustration when that all came crashing down was audible. Suddenly I was right back down to the some of the lowest points in my life. I was again “the sick one.” Somehow even when things had been slowly going downhill, I was blinded enough by the highs to be shocked when I was back to square one. I was angry. I felt sorry for myself and felt alone despite the people around me. I started to prepare myself again for the life full of battles, ready to sink back to that person who laid in the fetal position on the sofa, unable to eat or move or laugh from deep within my belly. I just kept thinking, over and over, that this is my life. I had a whole other vision for it after my ostomy surgery, but this person, right here, in a hospital room getting bad news? This is my life.

Until the person next to me, the person who responded to the news of my ostomy when we first met with a poop joke, responded with another poop joke. The kind that made me laugh so hard that all the ugly tears shook off my face. And as he wiped the remnants of them away, he reassured me. With a few simple words, he reminded me of my actual life. Reality. Yes, I am the sick one. But I’m also the healthy one. In black and white, that is my life. Some days I will be an adventurer. I’ll feel healthy, I’ll laugh, and I’ll enjoy the smooth sailing. And some days I will be sick. I’ll be a warrior. I’ll look for hope and rely on others. And their support will be everything.

 

UOAA Resources:

Emotional Concerns

Sexuality

Living with an Ostomy