Tag Archive for: work

Telling People About Your Ostomy

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It’s been said before, but it is worth repeating: who you tell about your ostomy and when you tell them is completely up to you. This is the first and foremost rule you should keep in mind when it comes to sharing about your ostomy. Most likely others won’t know you have an ostomy unless you bring it up.  If you are reading this before your surgery, you will need to think about what kind of support you are looking for. As you decide to let people in on your new situation, consider who can offer you the support and friendship you need during this time.

Place of Work

There is no right or wrong way when it comes to sharing about your ostomy at work. It might be that no one needs to know about it, it doesn’t affect your work and you are receiving enough support from friends and family and other people outside of work. Or, your situation might be that you need to take frequent breaks to empty your pouch and so explaining a little bit about your surgery will help your employer to understand what’s going on. Again, feel free to be as specific or general as you want. It might even be helpful to write out a small script so you can go into this conversation with added confidence. Decide how much you want to share, and how willing you are to answer questions.

Family and Close Friends

Hopefully, you aren’t trying to go through this life-changing experience alone. Family and/or friends should be the foundation of your support network. Having someone you trust at medical appointments with you can be helpful for your morale, but also to have another set of ears to remember details and information that you may have missed. When you decide to let other people close to you in on the reality of your situation, ask the person who was with you at those appointments to be there to support you. It’s amazing how much more confident we can feel having the energy of a loving and loyal person at our side.

Romantic Partners

If you are in a committed relationship prior to your surgery, then it’s likely they will be informed of your ostomy and the changes to your body. While it can be scary to let people in and tell them about your ostomy, it can be even scarier to be alone in the process. Going through this with a partner by your side can be so beneficial to your recovery process, and can also help to strengthen your relationship.

Dating after your ostomy can seem daunting at first, but as you heal and become more and more comfortable with your new routine, your confidence will grow.  Keep in mind that it’s completely up to you when to tell a new romantic partner about your ostomy. As with your workmates, you may want to take the time to figure out what you want to say before you say it. It’s okay to keep it short and basic and then decide if you want to take some time to answer questions.

Confidence

The more confident and comfortable you are with your ostomy, the more this will show when you speak about it. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to heal and get used to the changes and new routine that an ostomy brings. Try to focus on the positive things that having an ostomy surgery has done for you and your body. It may be helpful to speak with others who are in a similar situation.  Talk to someone who has gone before you and find out how they told people about their ostomy.

It’s up to you who you tell, when you tell them and how you do it.

Visit the Coloplast Care site for more information on sharing about your ostomy at work.

 

Information from Coloplast® Care is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice and should not be interpreted to contain treatment recommendations. You should rely on the healthcare professional who knows your individual history for personal medical advice and diagnosis.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Sixty Years with an Ostomy

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By Ed Pfueller, UOAA Communications Manager

Beverly Dabliz is ready to celebrate a monumental 60th anniversary but even her closest friends do not all know what it is for. Recently she decided it was finally time to share the news. “Just last week I told a close friend I’ve known for 66 years – I’m the godmother of her twins, but even they did not know I have an ostomy. It was just not something people talked about,” Dabliz says. She adds “People are surprised to learn the news, but it does not matter to them one bit.”

Dabliz had ileostomy surgery in 1962 at Ferguson Hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Ferguson was one of the first clinics in the world to perform such surgeries. By the time she turned twenty she was suffering from ulcerative colitis and by twenty-four ran out of treatment options. “After sixty years I have never regretted it, it has allowed me to live a great life,” Dabliz says.

Almost no one with the exception of her doctor understood the procedure and how to care for it. She knew she was on her own on how to carry on and reach her full potential.
Even if you have a great support network Dabliz recommends, “You have to own it and take care of it.” Ostomy supplies of that time bear little resemblance to the lightweight, contoured appliances of today. “I wore a heavy two-piece rubber appliance held on with an ostomy glue,” she recalls. It was not until the 70s that pouching systems began to evolve into something similar to the one and two-piece systems commonly used today.

“It was just not something people talked about,”

Over the years Dabliz has helped other ostomates in need through the Detroit Metro Ostomy Support Group. While doing hospital visits she would always appear in fitted clothes and enjoyed how grateful the patients were to hear from someone else living with an ostomy. She is happy about the recent return of in-person support group meetings. At meetings, Dabliz is sometimes surprised by some of the concerns new ostomates have regarding things like food, “I just tell them to be sure you chew your food very well, in the beginning, I tried it all without being scared but I’m still often the last one eating. I chew my food so well I’ve worn down teeth.”

Beverly Dabliz, right, works during a mission trip to Costa Rica with her Michigan church group.

Dabliz worked in the accounting department of a computer company in Detroit and Plymouth, Michigan for 45 years before retiring. Her boss was aware of her ostomy and supportive. “I never missed a day of work because of the ostomy,” she says.

Six years ago Dabliz had a fight with kidney cancer and three years ago a shoulder replacement surgery. But she has otherwise been fortunate to live a healthy life since the ostomy surgery six decades ago. She still makes it a point to get out of the house almost every day. “I have always been very active and really have not had any ostomy issues,” Dabliz says. In her eighties now, she still enjoys golfing and was in a bowling league for many years.

Beverly Dabliz working as a volunteer at the Eagle River Methodist Camp in Juneau, Alaska.

Dabliz can also still be found tending to her yard and is reluctant to give up shoveling the Michigan snow – though neighbors have started beating her to it. With the exception of some subtle changes, her ostomy regiment remains routine. She consistently uses the same products.

Dabliz is an active member of her church and has gone on many mission trips over the years in countries such as Jamaica and Costa Rica. “I’ve had to use outhouses in Alaska and done mission work after Hurricane Katrina,” Dabliz says. Even in these tight living quarters, nobody knew she had an ostomy.

An ostomy has never gotten in the way of her passion for traveling and cruising the world with her older sister. The pair have even circumnavigated Australia and New Zealand. Her advice; “I take extra supplies and always bring some on carry-on and have never had any trouble flying. Just do it. Go swimming, do whatever you want to do,” she says.

In celebration of her 60th Stomaversary and 85th Birthday, Dabliz is hoping to take a Holland America cruise around Iceland with her sister. Her minister and family have known of her ostomy but she hopes to tell more friends about what this landmark occasion means to her. Dabliz is confident they will take the news in stride as they help her celebrate a life that could have been cut way too short if not for that long ago ostomy surgery.

Back to Work with an Ostomy

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From the board room to construction, to long shifts in a hospital, people with living with an ostomy (colostomy, ileostomy, urostomy, ect.) work every job imaginable.  Embracing a “new normal” in life after ostomy surgery is key to living an active life, and that daily norm means going back to work.

According to the American Society of Colon and Rectal Surgeons once a person has recovered from surgery your ostomy should not limit your return to work. When you return depends on your individual recovery, ease of pouch management and how physical your job is (due to the increased risk of hernia).

Whether to tell your employer or co-workers is a personal choice depending on your unique work situation, but some feel it comes in handy if you require frequent breaks or other accommodations. Remember your co-workers will likely not realize you have an ostomy unless you tell them. With some preparation you’ll soon be confident in the workplace, and for many, feeling in better health than before surgery.

Here are a few tips from the UOAA Facebook community and Advocacy Network.

  1. Be Prepared:  In the case of a possible leak have a complete change of your ostomy supplies as well as a change of clothes you can bring to the bathroom. “Pack in a backpack, zippered tote, or small duffle bag that you can store in your desk drawer or locker” –Jane Ashley-publishing/author
  2. Know Your Rights: You have legal rights under the American Disabilities Act prohibiting employment-based discrimination. Workplace complaints to UOAA are rare but it can still occur. “My coworkers all knew, especially of the trials and tribulations pre-op. But still, there was hostility and harassment at times.” Jacque- Retired Government.
  3. Dispose/Empty Your Pouch Properly: Investigate the best restroom/changing facilities to empty or change your pouch. Consider the use of pouch or ostomy type deodorants. “My purse contains a 1-ounce bottle of Poo-Pourri, a Tide pen, a lubricating deodorant sachet, and baby wipes.” Margie, Academia.
  4. Find the Best Clothing for Your Job: Consider loose clothing if sitting for long hours or a stoma belt if you have an active job with lots of bending. A skin barrier may be helpful if you perspire on the job. “I wear a hernia belt”- Megan-Nursing
  5. Don’t Stress Stoma Noise: If your stoma decides to speak up at the next meeting relax, you may be the only one who notices “All bodies make sounds” Penny- Construction
  6. Hydrate: “Stay on top of your fluid intake. Don’t get distracted and have it result in an ER visit.” Heather Brigstock-Nursing
  7. Find Support: Know that you are not alone. UOAA has about 300 affiliated support groups around the United States that offeradvice, information and support.

Wish some preparation and patience you’ll soon be confident in the workplace, and for many, feeling in better health than before surgery.