Why Larry David’s “Colostomy Bag” Curb episode is making me speak out about my ostomy after 48 years
By Robin Bergstein Berman
The latest episode of Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm was called “The Colostomy Bag” and during an attempt to be humorous, his usually (awkward and despicable character) made disparaging comments relating to ostomates. At least it opened up room for discussion… It’s the first time that I posted on my Facebook page about my one-and-done Ileostomy surgery 48 years ago and I received nothing but words of support. I shared below why I found the episode harmful:
“Being an ostomate does not define me.” Says Robin, 63, and has had her ileostomy for 48 years, finding health and a full life after ulcerative colitis.
This is too important not to address so I’m about to “out” myself for those who do not know. Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that aired tonight was called “The Colostomy Bag” and it was harmful for a few reasons. I’m able to laugh at myself but this was not funny mostly because it passed along inaccurate information and promoted public stigmas that could cost lives. Those who desperately need a life-saving surgery (for bowel diseases, cancers and more), often put it off far too long due to inaccurate public opinion including that of too many doctors.
There were three primary comments that were said, I want to address about the episode while giving only a glimpse of my journey. First of all, not all who have an ostomy have a colostomy and therefore do not wear ”Colostomy Bags”. Larry kept saying colostomy as if it encompassed all ostomies… it doesn’t.
Secondly, having an ostomy is not the worst thing that anyone could possibly have. He made it sound as if it is. It’s life-saving and has given me personally 48 more years of life to date that I wouldn’t have had without the complete colectomy/Ileostomy I was given in a nine hour surgery in 1975. I would not be here without it since I was bleeding to death and not able to recover after given the maximum doses of steroids for an extended period of time. Polyps, the breeding grounds for cancer cells were present and multiple were seen when my entire colon and rectum were removed at 15 years old. The pain I endured prior to surgery was unfathomable and I won’t here expand on all of what I experienced. I had the most severe chronic ulcerative colitis, spending weeks and months at a time in the hospital from 11 to 15 years old.
Robin with her two, now adult sons, whom she carried to term and had by emergency c-section after her ileostomy surgery.
Back to the episode; there is no such thing as a “shit in the bag look” for anyone thinking there is, like Larry. It was only slightly humorous in the context, but for someone facing this surgery and not knowing, there is no facial indications that we wear an appliance/pouch/bag. Now when he felt guilty about his comment to the car salesmen and wondered if he could gift a Louie Vitton Illeostomy Bag, that I’d like !!!…lol THIS was funny when Larry brought it up.
While they did say the car smelled like smoking, they alluded to it smelling like the man’s ostomy bag which is also not a “thing”. Popular public thinking is that ostomates smell, are unattractive, unappealing, not sexy or sexual and should be pitied. This too is not true. Within months after my surgery, I was at the beach away with my friend and her family, continued my relationship with my first boyfriend and went onto have others, didn’t miss a beat with school and countless other activities which were extensive and then went onto college away two years after my surgery. I’ve lived a full, active, useful life, carried both of our sons to term, working primarily but not exclusively in fragrance and cosmetics and certainly do not smell bad being told my entire life that I smell good (lol). In fact the first thing that attracted my husband to me was how I smelled at a bar after fragrance modeling all day.
I wear almost everything I want with some exceptions and am fashionable according to most. I’ve heard from too many that someone would rather be dead than to wear an ostomy bag. It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard all caused by antiquated public opinion that is not valid and what this last episode of Larry David continues to promote.
I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner.
Without fail when TV, even medical dramas, present ostomy surgery and the wearing of an appliance, they present it unfairly, wrong and impose additional stigmas. Don’t misinterpret me since adjusting to it sucks and there are challenges but it’s totally doable and makes a person no less the person they were in any way other than making them hopefully healthier.
If any one of you are facing this now or in the future, I am more than willing to help you or anyone you care about, to get through and adjust by listening, empathizing and giving you the tips and tricks I learned from a lifetime, 48 years, through all stages and phases of life.
Robin and her husband of 34 years.
It’s so much easier to find info today with social media than when I learned to adjust on my own without an ostomy, now a community is a click of a phone away and with laser surgery lessening the more invasive total cutting my body went through.
I was triggered tonight by the episode knowing how people are discouraged by doctors and the public’s misconceptions, I just had to address it not for me but for others. Ostomates are all ages and sexes and all walks of life including some professional athletes. Please let me know if you have any questions but mostly if you or a loved one are facing this life saving surgery, I’d be glad to help.If anyone would like to share my post, I’ll be glad to make it shareable by allowing public access. Let me know.
I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner. I help where I can in the support groups and over 48 years ago tried forming a youth group here in Pittsburgh for ostomates, spoke to auditoriums full of high schoolers at various schools trying to discuss differences and acceptance for all and was always received well. I went on a local talk show regarding my surgery back in 1975. Being an ostomate does not define me so I spend little time discussing it unless I can be of help or it’s in a relevant conversation, which it is this week!
Editors note: The humor of the Larry character in Curb Your Enthusiasm is often built around his selfish and ignorant views. In past episodes with characters who are disabled or have a disease, those characters are usually used to help magnify his faults. This episode did not include an ostomate character just the perception of what one would be like and what life would be like with one. The opportunity for awareness, such as what Michael J Fox brought to Parkinson’s in his past episodes, was missed.
Want to get a more positive ostomy awareness message on TV and social media? Share UOAA’s Ostomy Public Service Announcement.
Did I miss something? Again and again, Larry mentions that the old car smells like tobacco — specifically Chesterfields. That’s all. And since the previous owner didn’t even have a colostomy bag, it would make no sense to imply that the car smelled of one, even if that were possible. Can the author of the article cite the dialogue that gave her this impression? Also, Curb is not for everyone. There is not a minority, a religion, a political stance, a disease, a gender identity, a social issue, or a disability that has not been fodder for Larry’s ignorance on the show over 12 seasons. It’s an equal opportunity offender. Does the author belong to the one group that should be an exception?
Roberts,
First of all, I am a huge huge fan, have seen every single episode and have laughed at every one with some more than others. I like my comedians raw, unfiltered, controversial and not frightened or timid to bring up all subjects. I see comedy as an art form like visual art, literature as well as theater and film. They are all a starting point for conversation, awareness as well as personal and societal growth along with sometimes being simply entertaining. This “type of humor” is not my problem with the episode “The Colostomy Bag”. I am not easily or ever offended and I applaud Larry David and crew for the topic but scold for how miserably the episode failed and how it can cost lives due to continuing misinformation that should have been obliterated over the past seventy years. I can laugh at myself and even my Illeostomy of forty eight years is at times the subject of some very funny moments.
The difference between this episode and all others that Curb has done where disabilities, diseases and surgeries were at the core of the comedy is this; In every other episode there is someone belonging to that “group” whether in real life or just playing the part and they have a chance to defend and present another view to the audience. Not one character in this episode had an Ostomy bag and yet the entire episode was called literally “The Colostomy Bag”. It’s not called “Nasty Tobacco Smell” or “Old Leather Seats” or “Smelly Cheese”. Larry David or he and his writers for the sake of cohesiveness in the episode obviously sat around thinking of “things that smell” and came up with a colostomy bag as one of them. Therefore, they tied in colostomy bag, old car tobacco smell, cheese left in a hot car and the lack of smell that Richard Lewis had as a result of Covid to be a theme throughout the episode. I realize the comedy intent was at least partially that there was no bag but that doesn’t change how the episode got it all wrong plus was the most “meh” episode ever according to myself, family and friends who viewed it.
Objecting to my take on the episode as anything else other than the smell ‘possibly’ coming from feces, is quite insulting to mine and other “fans” intelligence. We do not know until halfway through that there has been no surgery thus needing a bag, yet Larry mentioned the smell again and again in correlation with Steve Buscemi’s character’s issues, implying that the two are connected.
I looked back at every season for all other names of the episodes and other than “The Blind Date” (if I recall correctly, she was blind(funny)), “Lewis Needs A Kidney” and “Larry vs Michael J. Fox” in 2011, no other additional titles call out so blatantly a medically necessitated theme. A character was always in place during the above mentioned shows to set Larry straight and to call him an “asshole” if need be. No actor or actress actually had or even acted/performed as if to have a colostomy. There was no protagonist or hero to Larry’s constant antagonist role like in all the other episodes I mention above. Even the episode regarding alopecia, had a character (Sienna Miller’s role) have alopecia and called out Larry for his ignorance.
If a public figure is making a show around a topic that in his words “is so horrible to live with” and is so misunderstood while being bold enough to call the the episode as such, they should at least know enough to get the details right.
There are about eight hundred thousand to one million of us in the US living perfectly regular lives wearing an Ostomy bag. You may think I’m being dramatic but I run across people all the time who would rather continue to be in horrific pain, have multiple major surgeries and be close to death or die because they don’t want to wear a bag, smell and be considered unattractive or less than sexy. None of these misconceptions are the case with an Ostomy.
I wish Larry would have had a girlfriend or even a one night stand with someone who happened to have an Illeostomy (entire colon removed like me). Jeff could have said, “How was it with her bag?”and even been insulting with misconceived claims but Larry could have said he didn’t even notice it. The character could have just happened to have an Ostomy. What a Mitzvah (yiddish…lol) it could have been putting an episode out like that. Or, a golf pro could have had one or even a teenager setting Larry straight about living an active life with it. Perhaps Susie or Jeff or Funkhouser could be facing one due to IBD…lots of funny inappropriate interactions could have occurred but at least in the end a simple message of ‘people can be ok with it’ could have prevailed. Instead the episode provided vague inaccurate info and a continued dialogue enabling the same old ‘not funny’ stigmas that exist in every show or movie I see representing us.
Perhaps Larry David’s show should have done a bit of homework before just haphazardly calling this episode “The Colostomy Bag”. I specified a few of my issues with the episode in the blog so I won’t review more here again. It’s obvious they didn’t ask anyone for the slightest bit of education. Sadly there won’t be a next time since the show is over. If there was a next season and the topic was approached again, I’d suggest asking The United Ostomy Association or, Me (lol), I’d be happy to help.
The show creators did what they did and now it’s mine and others right to stand up, respond and use this time as a chance for education, awareness and to demolish misconceptions.
I’m not an offended, weepy, ‘Poor Me’ kind of person. So yes do represent me and others living with Ostomies, poke humor but at least get it right.
Thanks for your comments. I too have lived more than 30 years, enjoying being a grandmother, mother and a few affairs and much more approaching 90 years young! Your thoughts are long overdue.
I agree Robin, and I had the same impression you did during the show. I also shared your appreciation for Larry’s humor. I agree that this is a different situation in that the subject of “colostomy bag” is very close to 100% used as the worst thing that could happen. As a dread rather than a miracle like other diseases or conditions. I can remember having those same thoughts while watching or reading and the subject of a “bag” would come up. I dreaded that concept so seriously that I postponed surgery for 10 years longer than I should have. This is why it is important to have ostomies talked about openly and in positive ways in addition to the more typical worse case scenario, even repulsive way that it is usually portrayed. Thank you for writing.
Thank you, for your excellent and informative post. More information about the positives is needed!
Information from long term experienced people is so helpful in giving one hope and direction.
Again, Thank You……